Controlled crying with a month old baby Help!

[Tasha20]

Should I do it yet? I dont want to create a rod for my own back, I love co sleeping with her but I just know its just going to cause problems down the line.

Today I have put her up in the room at 8 and she slept on her own for about 10 mins and ever sinse then ive been up and down, she goes straight into tearfull crying and really going for it ( its horrible ) and now my OH is giving it ago in settleing her ( shes quiet )

She hasnt got night and day at all lol, the HV suggested I put her up during the day when she sleeps, and shut the cutains to make it dark so that when its dark she will sleep ( well thats the idea anyway)

How long should I leave her to cry? and when should I go to her?

How do I start?

Help please

Im not being a bad mum am I ?

 

[cassi]

I personally dont like it..Have you tried pat/shh yet when you stay with baby and put her to bed but pat her back whilst saying shhh lightly into her ear and then when she is older you can also do pick up put down...all of these are meant to be good for helping baby go to sleep in her own bed...she wont just do it on her own because she is not used to that, she is used to co-sleeping so just leaving her to cry it out, I dont beileve is the best way...

 

[Tasha20]

I havnt let her cry it out, I have gone up there cuddled her and put her back, I have done this 5 times now and shes settled, I fed her just now and put her back in with no problems I dont like letting her cry and I havnt needed to.

 

[cassi]

So more pick up put down than controlled crying then?

 

[Hypnorm]

She is only a month old, so co sleeping will not harm.
You can't spoil a baby at this age, they are crying for a reason, and too young to understand that they need to sleep at certain times although this will eventuall develop.
They want comfort, warmth etc
i personally wouldnt worry about it untill later on.

 

[skatty]

Tasha don't worry about co sleeeping! Its fine at the mo' and very soon your LO will slep for longer periods and you'll know its the right time to put her in her own room. She's still so young and wants to be close to her mum! Leorah went in her own room at 6 weeks and was fine but we only put her down once she asleep. You can't spoli such a young baby

 

[Tasha20]

I couldnt do it anyway, I cuddled her and then put her down and then this morning she was back in bed with me She did very well tho, stayed in bed on her own in my room until 4 this morning

 

[Melly+2]

hey hun, dont be daft your not a bad mum at alll, you shudnt feel guilty. What i did with hope was if she napped in the day i always put her in her moses basket in a dark room so thatb she knew that was the place for sleep. Also if your buba is fed changed, burped then you know that she is just crying coz she is tired and if you leave her to cry for a bit she will probably drop off eventually. Just keep checking on her every 5 mins. Does she have a bed time???

 

[Tasha20]

She didnt have a bedtime but she will be having one today, I am planning to bath her, feed her and then put her to bed, wether it works is another story but oh well lol

I have started to put her up when shes asleep as shes not falling asleep on her own yet, she needs boobie feed or a cuddle, but thats ok

 

[nathanmum]

personaly i think shes a bit too young for controlled crying at the mo shes more than likely crying for a reason.
co sleeping is fine i used to do it with nathan when i was knackered and wanted him to sleep, its comforting for them and builds a nice bond.

 

[Tasha20]

Well I sopke to my mum and I have thrown the conrtolled crying out the window, I was just worried as the HV said something about it and I panicked.

Little madam is back with me now and I feel much happier about it and so does she

Thank you all for your replys and helping me see whats best for us

 

[Bagpuss17]

Defo agree with the others, babys at this age need their Mum/Dad for comfort if they are crying. It's the one time you can spoil them with your cuddles.

Can't believe your HV mentioned it with a baby so young.

Babies can't distinguish between night and day until they are at least 8 weeks old.

 

[Melly+2]

i think the best thing to do is give buba a big bath and feed before bed time x

 

[Keely]

rrrrrrr babies are meant for cuddling at this age!!!

xxxxx

 

[Tasha20]

and cuddle her I shall

 

[skatty]

Tasha that's such a sweet poem! I agree they don't stay small babies long, Leorah already gets bored of cuddling when she wants to stand and bounce

I think because i co slept with Leorah and I always respond quickly to her crying she is now happy in her own bed. She knows I will come to her if she needs me. I also worried she would be spoilt if we co slept but i realise she is only now getting to the age where habits could be formed. I'm glad your enjoying your lovely daughter

 

[Tasha20]

It is isnt it, decribes exactly how it is

Im just goin to enjoy my little monster