Consultant App- pm and other results, what to ask? updated with answers

[megsmeadow]

We are now just over 12 weeks on from losing Oirrinn and our appointment has finally come around to receive her post mortem results and the swab/blood tests from me. Feels like time has dragged recently (original appointment was 8th of April but gp managed to bring it forward for us), I just need to know if there are answers or not. But I'm not sure what other answers I'm looking for other than why it happened and the chances of recurrence in the future. Anyone have suggestions? I want to make sure I ask all the things that I might not be thinking about right now but may come up in the future too. My brain might be a bit exhausted though :/

 

[miss_soldier]

Hello, hope you have been ok over the past few weeks, I can understand it has been a difficult and stressful time recently. When we went to our post Mortem results I didn't really have any questions before going in except why? Don't be afraid to ask the consultant to go over things again or explain in a more simple way like not in all medical terms. Questions will come to you as he/she goes through the report.
We did have to go on to see another specialist due to the results so this did give me a few more weeks to think of any other questions. Make sure you get the consultants secretary's phone number or email incase you do think of other questions at a later stage.
I do hope you get some answers as that was all I wanted.
All the best xx

 

[flisstebbs]

Hope everything is ok Megs, don't get on here that often now, but I keep an out for you. I expect there will be depressingly few answers for you, and I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine next time round. xxx

 

[megsmeadow]

Thank you fliss, that's really nice of you.
And thank you Miss_soldier, I hadn't even thought that there could be any other appointments.

I'm fully prepared to hear that there are no answers, but we always said that if all we found out from the pm was confirmation of the gender then it was worth it (midwives didn't want to commit to a gender in case it was wrong). As it turned out our GP was already able to get that information from the pathologist and I really feel it did make a difference to us. Good idea about getting contact details, I have a general appointments number but it was so difficult to rearrange the appointment.
Anyway, I'm rambling! Thank you for your replies, I really appreciate feeling a little bit prepared going in there. xx

 

[megsmeadow]

Well our baby girl was perfect in every way but there was a sizeable blood clot behind her placenta which they think may have caused her to stop growing. I had some early bleeds and at my 12 week scan they said the sub chorionic haemorrhage was starting to 'heal' like the end of a bruise. I'm not sure if there was another bleed or this one got worse. She stopped growing around 17 weeks ish.
The consultant said she's happy if I want to come back to discuss anything just to make another appointment. And the chances of it happening again are low, but if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again they would give me a regular 12 week scan but an extra scan around 22 weeks to check the blood flow through the placenta and two growth scans around 28 and 32 weeks (I think).

 

[flisstebbs]

Did it help to know there was a reason Megs? I hope so, however heart breaking it must have been to hear it. Will they check your blood clotting to make sure its normal?

I'm looking out for your bfp. x

 

[megsmeadow]

I think it does help, though the thought that she was healthy and it happened to her rocks me a little. The consultant gave us the report first and when I started to glance over it I got upset as the frankness of the medical terms feels quite cruel. They already checked my bloods and they all came up fine. The pm suggested that and checking for diabetes but I'd had that done already too.

Maybe I can start to relax a bit knowing that the chances of that happening again are small. Really hope we are lucky enough to bring our rainbow baby home someday soon.

 

[Bunnykins]

I know it doesn't bring her back and nothing will make it ever be ok but I'm glad you got some answers and hopefully you will get your chance again xxxx

 

[Hopeful75]

I can only begin to imagine how painful the appointment must have been for you. Hopefully you've been a little reassured that the chances of this happening with future pregnancies are slim. Not that that knowledge helps in any way with the grief of losing Oirrinn.
I hope you are lucky and get another chance soon.

 

[nds]

hi hun i've been in almost the same situation. turns out ours was a genetic thing but they can't tell us if it's going to happen again. i think you'll have to prepare yourself for no answers, or for the chance it may happen again. of course the risk completely depends on the reason why your poor girl had to go. definitely get a number for one of them so you can call at any point if you forget to ask something. xxxx

 

[nds]

sorry i didn't even read the whole thing. good that you have such a supportive consultant. if you get pg again you will be well looked after - but im sure you know yourself you are most likely not going to enjoy or get really excited about this one.

i hope you have a little bit of closure, as such, now that you have a reason behind what happened to your little girl.

i won't sit here and tell you "everything will be fine", because that's a load of crap and nobody whos been in your situation or similar will say that to you, and i would be very suprised if they did because situations like this just proove nobody ever knows for sure it is going to be okay. what i will say, is just that i hope your pain eases soon, that you are blessed enough to become pg again, and that i sincerely hope you get your rainbow baby.

always here, take care
x

 

[Cazza]

Glad you got some answers my lovely and good that they'll keep a close eye on you next time xx

 

[megsmeadow]

Thanks everyone, it does really help. I think there were a few things they couldn't test because she had passed a while before I gave birth but the answers we got were enough. xx

 

[Gayle30]

Sorry sweetie-ivr just come on to see how it went. I was thinking of you. Sorry to hear that she was perfect-it almost makes it harder to understand why it happened. Just wanted to offer support and love. Take care and be kind to yourself. Xx

 

[megsmeadow]

Thanks Gayle! I've been doing some reading and really didn't realise that if that had happened after 20 weeks it might have been classed as placenta abruption. The consultant did say the chances of it happening again are remote, so just holding on to that. x

 

[laurat]

Glad you have sime answers honey!! Xxxx