Coming to terms
- Thread starter Jess_m
- Start date
Hi,
so sorry for your loss.
It's a very difficult thing to go through I know. You obviously have a strong faith, have you spoken to a chaplain or your vicar/priest about it?
I am not a religious person so I can't understand exactly what you're thinking but I generally believe that things happen for a reason even if we can't see it at the time. I also know that it won't have happened because of something you did or didn't do, because you were a bad person or because you "didn't deserve it" or any of those other bad thoughts that go through your head at times like these. It's just not how the world works I don't think. Sadly bad things do happen to good people.
What helps me is trying to turn negative things into good outcomes, there are people who have helped me through my m/c who have totally come to my aid and been amazing friends and I think I under-appreciated them before so that is some good that has come of it. I also understand my SIL better and have become closer to her as she had a m/c a year ago so that is another positive. Steelgoddess started a thread on this board called "Things I know..." which has some positive things that we have managed to get out of what is a heartbreaking and devastating experience and it does help to look at it.
It also helps to talk about it as well. I have been able to talk in great detail to other women on here about my m/c and it really really helped me. You can always give me a PM if you want to talk about it or post up here.
Again I am very sorry for your loss
+++
so sorry for your loss.
It's a very difficult thing to go through I know. You obviously have a strong faith, have you spoken to a chaplain or your vicar/priest about it?
I am not a religious person so I can't understand exactly what you're thinking but I generally believe that things happen for a reason even if we can't see it at the time. I also know that it won't have happened because of something you did or didn't do, because you were a bad person or because you "didn't deserve it" or any of those other bad thoughts that go through your head at times like these. It's just not how the world works I don't think. Sadly bad things do happen to good people.
What helps me is trying to turn negative things into good outcomes, there are people who have helped me through my m/c who have totally come to my aid and been amazing friends and I think I under-appreciated them before so that is some good that has come of it. I also understand my SIL better and have become closer to her as she had a m/c a year ago so that is another positive. Steelgoddess started a thread on this board called "Things I know..." which has some positive things that we have managed to get out of what is a heartbreaking and devastating experience and it does help to look at it.
It also helps to talk about it as well. I have been able to talk in great detail to other women on here about my m/c and it really really helped me. You can always give me a PM if you want to talk about it or post up here.
Again I am very sorry for your loss
+++
I have a friend who is religious, when she had a m/c the way she explained it to me was that God cannot prevent us ever feeling loss or grief as everything has a time to die. Unfortunately sometimes that time is way too soon. But that she took strength from the knowledge he was there supporting her, and that he had faith in her that she was able to cope and to grow from this in some way.
Talk to the religious leader at your place of worship - they will undoubtedly have had this conversation before and may be able to offer you specific support to help ease your feelings of confusion in God letting this happen
Talk to the religious leader at your place of worship - they will undoubtedly have had this conversation before and may be able to offer you specific support to help ease your feelings of confusion in God letting this happen
Hi,
I think you have to try and remain strong and believe that there is a reason for your loss even if you can't see why now. I really think everything happens for a reason. I had a m/c and then went on to have two children. If I hadn't m/c my first child I wouldn't have my son and I can't imagine not having him. It will get easier I promise you
I think you have to try and remain strong and believe that there is a reason for your loss even if you can't see why now. I really think everything happens for a reason. I had a m/c and then went on to have two children. If I hadn't m/c my first child I wouldn't have my son and I can't imagine not having him. It will get easier I promise you
i am so sorry for your loss i am not a religious person but i do remember the feeling i had when i had my first m/c which was also my first pregnancy, it hit me really bad i dont know what i would have done without my dh, i never thought in a million years it would have happened to me, i was young fit and healthy, but i know now after 4 losses and 2 healthy children that getting pregnant and having a healthy child is a gamble, a m/c just happens, mostly there is no reason for it and nothing you can do to prevent it, but i will agree that you can take something positive from it, dh and i have got closer, closer than i ever thought possible, so take time to grieve for your loss, you might not get answers as to why this has happened to you, but i hope you find a way to come to terms with it
Steelgoddess
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2007
- Messages
- 5,001
- Reaction score
- 0
I think it will be hard for you to come to terms with what has happened its not easy no matter how common it can be you will have days which are hard and others which are easy.
I hope you can get through it hon akways here if u need a chat
x
I hope you can get through it hon akways here if u need a chat
x
happy-chick
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2007
- Messages
- 8,979
- Reaction score
- 0
Dollydaydream
Active Member
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2007
- Messages
- 31
- Reaction score
- 0
All I can say is just take each day as it comes.
I have some terrible days but then soon a good day comes along and it's like a breath of fresh air. My Vicar said to me that although God couldn't prevent my mc he does know how I feel as he lost a son too. At the time that didn't help much and to be honest most days it doesn't help but all I can do is
and know that God hears me.
If you want to chat or need to vent feel free to pm me.
Your in my thoughts and prayers.
I have some terrible days but then soon a good day comes along and it's like a breath of fresh air. My Vicar said to me that although God couldn't prevent my mc he does know how I feel as he lost a son too. At the time that didn't help much and to be honest most days it doesn't help but all I can do is
and know that God hears me.If you want to chat or need to vent feel free to pm me.
Your in my thoughts and prayers.
