Clingy Baby?

[dannii87]

I think I've set myself up for a huge fall tbh! Evie is incredibly clingy. She hates being away from me and won't settle with anyone else but me unless she is really sleepy and too tired to argue!

I put a T-shirt of mine in her cot at night but it's not good enough unless she's sleeping with me in my bed. So I now bring her into my bed at around 6am when she has her early morning feed. Then we have a little lay in together.

At the moment, I don't spend ANY time away from her because I'm breastfeeding. If I have a bath, I set up her bouncer on the bathroom floor so we can see each other (because she won't settle with anyone else and I can't relax in the bath if I can hear her screaming).

When I do my make up she's on my lap staring up at me while I do it.

Basically, we're a team and never apart. I shower her with attention. I'm constantly singing and talking to her. Cooing over her etc. But am I doing it TOO MUCH? Whenever I'm on the laptop, she lays in the VPillow (nursing pillow) watching me. Sometimes that's not enough and she wants to be held (quite often actually!)

Completely off topic but I'm sure she's not a lady. She's farting away something chronic!! Honestly! She's been farting the whole way through me writing this post

Anyway, anything I can do to loosen the apron strings?! I need to, because I start UV treatment at the hospital soon (hopefully ) and I'll need to be away from her for a couple of hours a couple of times a week, and at the moment, that time would be spent screaming!

I nipped to the chemist the other day and my Mum said she screamed the whole time I was out! xx

 

[Penstraze]

My sister was like this with my nephew largely through necessity as it was only her and him most the time, he is a year old now and can't bare to be away from her shes had awful trouble settling him with a childminder now shes had to go back to work part time if she just leaves the room he screams and where shes never been able to settle him in his cot he still sleeps with her and has her up a number of times each night, she says if she could go back in time she would do things differently! Evie is still very young getting her used to being away from you will get harder the longer you leave it but shouldn't be too difficult at the moment, I would start with having other people spending more time holding her with you in the room and if she screams leave them to settle her I know this is easier said then done when Kara is with her Dad and wont settle I have to practically sit on my hands to stop myself interfering I know I can stop her crying straight away but he has to learn and she has to learn to be with other people then me so I force myself to leave them to it as much as possible I am still breast feeding so Im never far away from Kara but I will leave with DH or MIL whilst I am busy in another room or something and have nipped to tescos in between feeds leaving her with DH a couple of times.
I know how you feel though you just want to be with them all the time I am putting off teaching her to take expressed milk from a bottle cause I know as soon as I do my MIL will expect me to leave her with her for lengths of time and Im not ready for that just yet but I know the longer I leave it the harder it will be, at the moment feeding her is my special thing only I can do and means she always comes back to me cause at times when we visit family I feel I hardly get to see her at least when shes hungry they have to give her back for me to feed her!

 

[purple13]

i rarely leave connor - he's fine playing with other people whilst i'm around, but can be v clingy to me and often cries when i leave the room. however, he's fairly easily distracted with other stuff now that he's older - whoever's with him just has to give him 100% attention and not let it lapse even for a second.

i've no advice really hon; can your mum sling evie when you go out (with a muslin that smells of you next to her chest, perhaps)? penstraze has made some good suggestions too.

good luck with the UV treatment!!

 

[LisaJ1986]

6months on and we're still stuck together! Angel won't even play on the floor next to me, i have to play with her. I have recently had severe issues with sleeping. She just screamed before her bum touched the mattress. Getting there slowly. I've started leaving her with OH while i do stuff. I'd never get anything done otherwise. If i was peeling potatoes and she was in her bouncy chair next to me i'd have to stop halfway through coz she wasn't being held.

 

[helsekia]

cadens real clingy to.if im in the saMe room he has to be on my knee.if im out the room for more than a minute he cries,if he wakes up and cant see me he screams.even if im sat on the pc and OH has him on his knee in the same room he still cries until i give in and take him.kiara was the same when she was younger,but not as bad.it soon wore off once she started school

 

[littlepip]

wow i could have sworn i could have written that post!!!! it sounds exactly like me!!!! lol Its just been me and ryan right from the start, he sits in the kitchen in his bumbo when im doing bottles, he sits in the bouncer in the bathroom while im in the shower, he lays on my bed while i do my makeup, i rarely use the sofa anymore as im sitting on the floor playing with him, if im online he sits in his chair that clips onto the table next to me or on my lap, he comes to work with me and he used to sleep in my bed up until last week lol. I love giving him attention and i buy him toys if he's been good when were out shopping (HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!! LOL) Im probably making a rod for my own back but i cant stop giving him the amount of attention i already do!! lol

 

[BabyMagic]

LO is pretty clingy but it doesn't bother me. I like us being a team. I do leave her for an hour at the time though around twice to three times a week when I exercise (either at the creche or if I do a 'baby swap' with other mums).

LO used to be much 'worse' earlier. As she has learnt new skills, she is at times too occupied to miss me - which means that I can get things done. I also believe that as I spent loads of time soothing her in the early days I built up her self confidence and because of this confidence she is now happier to be on her own as she trusts that I'll be there if she needs me. But then this may all be just a whole load of nonsense

 

[BabyMagic]

LO is pretty clingy but it doesn't bother me. I like us being a team. I do leave her for an hour at the time though around twice to three times a week when I exercise (either at the creche or if I do a 'baby swap' with other mums).

LO used to be much 'worse' earlier. As she has learnt new skills, she is at times too occupied to miss me - which means that I can get things done. I also believe that as I spent loads of time soothing her in the early days I built up her self confidence and because of this confidence she is now happier to be on her own as she trusts that I'll be there if she needs me. But then this may all be just a whole load of nonsense

 

[Squiglet]

Its a normal reaction in my opinion... I mean, if you were suddenly woken up in the dead of night, 100watt bulbs shone in your face, had the duvets ripped off you and shoved in a fridge, had needles stuck in you, pulled and prodded, had your head crushed in a vice... you'd be a ta unnerved too

The only time you LO has ever felt safe and warm and loved in in your arms, hearing your voice. Shes never even experienced hunger pain before, so will cry just to have that pain taken away.

I never spent any time away from lil miss untill she was 5 months old and I went back to work. Tbh enjoy it while you can... soon they're off at school, friends houses, and they don't want to spend time with you anymore

 

[helsekia]

I never spent any time away from lil miss untill she was 5 months old and I went back to work. Tbh enjoy it while you can... soon they're off at school, friends houses, and they don't want to spend time with you anymore

Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 09:46 am

actually this is an excellent point and I totally agree.I sometimes feel i hardly see my DD at all as they become independent at such a young age now and have their own little social lives.

 

[Sherlock]

I think squiglet summed it up best. Sounds perfectly normal to me, what your LO is doing. I think many babies are like this, so you are far from alone.

I remember Galen living on me in those early weeks. Hard bloody work, mentally draining also but looking back now, very very worth every exhausted moment. I just wish at the time I'd be able to enjoy it all more, but I think its the shock to the system thing that every new mum must feel. Months later you can look back and realise that even though it was hard going it was wonderful to experience.

 

[dannii87]

Thanks ladies!

I'm going to try and enjoy it then, thanks girls! Hopefully we can have a relaxing PJ day tomorrow together xx

 

[DaisyRose]

Hiya Dannii,

Sounds very familiar - all three of mine have been like that!!! I washed the car today and Ruby was sat watching in her bouncer; then she started crying so called OH, only to discover she'd done a massive poo that'd soaked through all her clothes. Of course I had to leave the car - OH is useless with nappies and she likely would have screamed the place down anyhow!!!! She rarely settles with him!!!

I also believe that as I spent loads of time soothing her in the early days I built up her self confidence and because of this confidence she is now happier to be on her own as she trusts that I'll be there if she needs me. But then this may all be just a whole load of nonsense.

I must say, I totally agree with this. I remember a mw saying this to me 6 yrs ago hen I had Dais. My girls have always been very clingy as babies, and it hasn't help that they've been so dependent on me (OH works long hours and we only see family occasionally). When Daisy and Rosie went to preschool it was the first time they'd been away from me and I was so worried but they were absolutely fine - no screaming fits or anything; Rosie particularly is so confident - she'll talk to anyone (not sure if that's always a good thing) but given their limited contact with other adults in their early years, it is very surprising.

Yes, definitely enjoy it and make the most of every moment. They get to a stage later on when they want to do their own thing.

All the best,