Claiming Maintenance

[dannii87]

Hello mummies...

...I'm actually directing this to mums (and mums to be!) who are in a similar situation to me.

I'm a single parent and have heard nothing since my fiance walked out a couple of days after Xmas (I'd only just found out I was pregnant).

I did try really hard to get him to come round to the idea but he told me he doesn't want anything at all to do with me or baby. It was hard to accept but I've finally got my head around it all now and have a couple of questions;

- Can I still claim maintenance if he isn't on the birth certificate? (I don't want him on there so if it means he has to be on it, then I'd rather go without the money)

- Can I refuse access at any point should he decide to suddenly want something to do with it (I want it to be baby's decision to see him, not his)

Thank you!! xxx

 

[Sherlock]

A quick google gave me this

http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/informati ... sheet2.pdf

Its a PDF, has the info you want in it methinks.

Also this page here has more info if you read down it

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/dads/p ... nsibility/

There were loads more search returns saying the same

 

[Sherlock]

There is also this

http://www.bailiffadviceonline.co.uk/csa_disputing.htm

 

[dannii87]

Thank you soooo much xxx

 

[Llys]

In short, father has a legal obligation to pay maintenance, but no legal obligation to see the child!

 

[MissSara]

Harrisons dad has ONLY JUST started paying maintanace after 6 years the CSA has finally caught up with him.
I know he has his own business and earns anything up to £1000 a week, and you want to know what i get £6, its a fooking insult. He has played the system, used fake tax slips and got away with it.... he told the CSA with fake pay slips and tax forms he earns £105 a week, which i know is a load of tripe, the things he owns he could not own on that a week.... its a joke.

Sorry for the rant hun, i know im off the point here, but im just so mad.

Anyway he isn't on the birth certificate and he still had to pay, but with your ex pissin off to a different country you might have a big problem getting money. Mine only lived in the next village and taht took 6 years....lol.

Good Luck.

 

[jue]

My ex left because he couldnt cope with our son who had special needs, he walked out and never looked back, moved in with another woman and went on benefits.

When the csa finally caught up with him he only had to pay me £5 a week.

He was on the birth certificates, but you do not have to put him on there and you can still claim maintenance.

Unfortunatly you cannot force him to have a relationship with the baby, but if he is a selfish so and so maybe baby will be better off without him?

My ex has recently decided he wanted to make contact with our kids after like 10 years of abandonment Because of their ages I felt I had no choice but to tell them, and they have handled it all quite well, but havent seen him, its just phone contact, the p**** is too lazy to make the effort to come and see them.

The law also changed a couple of years back and now both parents have PR when baby is born. I am not sure though if this stands if the father is on the birth certificate or not, check up on that point as it is important for you to know.

If I were you, I would relax into my pregnancy and try not to worry any more about trying to make him part of your lo's life right now, he knows you are pregnant and when baby is due so, wait and see what happens after baby is born.

There is so much more I wante dto add, but seeing how long this post is I better leave it there

 

[dannii87]

My ex left because he couldnt cope with our son who had special needs, he walked out and never looked back, moved in with another woman and went on benefits.

When the csa finally caught up with him he only had to pay me £5 a week.

He was on the birth certificates, but you do not have to put him on there and you can still claim maintenance.

Unfortunatly you cannot force him to have a relationship with the baby, but if he is a selfish so and so maybe baby will be better off without him?

My ex has recently decided he wanted to make contact with our kids after like 10 years of abandonment Because of their ages I felt I had no choice but to tell them, and they have handled it all quite well, but havent seen him, its just phone contact, the p**** is too lazy to make the effort to come and see them.

The law also changed a couple of years back and now both parents have PR when baby is born. I am not sure though if this stands if the father is on the birth certificate or not, check up on that point as it is important for you to know.

If I were you, I would relax into my pregnancy and try not to worry any more about trying to make him part of your lo's life right now, he knows you are pregnant and when baby is due so, wait and see what happens after baby is born.

There is so much more I wante dto add, but seeing how long this post is I better leave it there

Thanks for the advice, everyone

Jue, I don't want him to have contact with the baby. He is very unstable in a lot of ways and his parents sat me down and told me one night that they thought I was a disgusting excuse for a human being and said that if I refuse to abort the baby, they will pray day and night for a miscarriage so I don't want ANY of them having contact!!

Bless you, your ex sounds like a complete d*ck (excuse my french) it's good that your children are old enough to understand and make their own decisions. Must be hard to know that w*nker could potentially reap the benefits of how well you brought your children up WITHOUT him!

xx

 

[jue]

HI Danni,

I understand perfectly why you dont want him or his parents to see baby. They sound really

Please check up on whether he has PR whether he is on the birth certificate or not. This could make a lot of difference to you.

Also remember that its easy for them to be the way they are now..... when baby is actually here it may turn out to be a different matter.......who can resist a new born.

Although grandparents have no rights they may talk their son into going for contact so they get to see the baby.

Fathers rights have changed a whole lot over the last couple of years, and the family court system is so complicated and in my opinion does not always do what most level headed people would consider the best interest of the child.

If you do have any problems with your ex, please feel free to contact me and I will help you as much as I can.

 

[Sherlock]

Please check up on whether he has PR whether he is on the birth certificate or not. This could make a lot of difference to you.

As I understand it he won't. He will need to be on the birth certificate to have PR. I gave Danni a link to a single parent factsheet that stated this and other things. Hopefully it has all the info Danni needs

 

[*Star*]

i think if parents are married then they both have parental responsibility.
if the parents are not married then the father has to be named on the birth certificate for him to get parental responsibility.
the only way the father can be named if the parents are not married, is if the father attends the registering of the birth. if he doesnt then he isn't named and i think doesnt get the pr

 

[jue]

Also he can apply to court for PR. But hopefully for Danni and baby he wont bother.

 

[abcd1234]

reading this makes me wonder whether i should really be considering putting baby daddy on birth certificate, as i dont want him having access, i dont trust him to be around my child and certainly not alone! ahving said that his family are lovely and i woudlnt want them to miss out

 

[abcd1234]

reading this makes me wonder whether i should really be considering putting baby daddy on birth certificate, as i dont want him having access, i dont trust him to be around my child and certainly not alone! ahving said that his family are lovely and i woudlnt want them to miss out

 

[Charlie:-)]

Not sure whether this will be any help but at work we have a confidential help line with access to free legal advice, we can ring about absolutely anything work or non work related. Just wondered whether you have access to any such helplines, if so I would call them and ask about the legalities of your situation.

 

[Charlie:-)]

Not sure whether this will be any help but at work we have a confidential help line with access to free legal advice, we can ring about absolutely anything work or non work related. Just wondered whether you have access to any such helplines, if so I would call them and ask about the legalities of your situation.

 

[Minime]

With PR he can have a say in certain things like what school your child attends, what name you give them and I think he has to countersign for a passport so he *could* make things awkward in the future if he does go on the birth cert. He can go to court to obtain PR at a later date, my ex tried this and I just laughed and said when he became a responsible parent then I would consider parental responsibility so he never got it.
(He is actually named on birth cert but as DD was born in 1993 then it doesnt give automatic PR as it does nowadays)

As for maintenence makes no difference if they are on the birth cert or not if you claim, he can dispute paternity but he will still have to pay until HE proves otherwise.

Access, again he can go to court and this is pretty expensive. You go to mediation first usually and thrash out reasonable access before a judge orders what access should be given but by experience its not worth the paper its written on although they say they're cracking down on mothers who deny access I've yet to see it happen. My ex husband went to court numerous times to get access to his kids and all she had to do was give 48 hours notice to change of contact so she'd ring on wednsday and say the children are not coming and there was NOTHING he could do about it except keep dragging her back to court and it cost thousands.

What I'd strongly advise hun given the nastiness you've had off his parents and him not wanting to know is keep a copy of anything written or texts that you may be able to use in future if needed. Hopefully it wont come to that but you never know

 

[dannii87]

Thanks girls!! I realy appreciate every single comment xxx

 

[Minime]

With PR he can have a say in certain things like what school your child attends, what name you give them and I think he has to countersign for a passport so he *could* make things awkward in the future if he does go on the birth cert. He can go to court to obtain PR at a later date, my ex tried this and I just laughed and said when he became a responsible parent then I would consider parental responsibility so he never got it.
(He is actually named on birth cert but as DD was born in 1993 then it doesnt give automatic PR as it does nowadays)

As for maintenence makes no difference if they are on the birth cert or not if you claim, he can dispute paternity but he will still have to pay until HE proves otherwise.

Access, again he can go to court and this is pretty expensive. You go to mediation first usually and thrash out reasonable access before a judge orders what access should be given but by experience its not worth the paper its written on although they say they're cracking down on mothers who deny access I've yet to see it happen. My ex husband went to court numerous times to get access to his kids and all she had to do was give 48 hours notice to change of contact so she'd ring on wednsday and say the children are not coming and there was NOTHING he could do about it except keep dragging her back to court and it cost thousands.

What I'd strongly advise hun given the nastiness you've had off his parents and him not wanting to know is keep a copy of anything written or texts that you may be able to use in future if needed. Hopefully it wont come to that but you never know

 

[dannii87]

Thanks girls!! I realy appreciate every single comment xxx