Celebrating baby's birth

[pinkyprincess]

Are you planning on anything like a christening to celebrate baby's arrival?
My OH has been brought up catholic my family are c of e. Neither of us are religious, in fact (and no offence to anyone) but I don't believe in religion at all and don't want to bring my child up as 'a religion' I will teach him about the different ones and he can make a choice, I especially don't agree with some of the catholic teachings, which is where the argument comes up.

My OH is keen on getting him christened as he was, I've told him that I don't want to stand up and 'swear in front of god' about how I'm going to look after a child when I don't believe and therefore making an empty promise from day one (feel the same about a church wedding) also I dont want to make as choice as to which church this would be with.

I suggested a non religious civil naming ceremony as a compromise. OH took this as a 'I'm making all the decisions about the baby' he was raised catholic and given the chance to make his choice when he was old enough 'your doing this to get one over on me' etc etc

What do you ladies think?

 

[1986princess]

I think ur compromise is fair hun and maybe when he has time to think about it he will come round. If ur not religious at all then some of the catholic ways will be a bit much for u and if ur not happy with it I shouldn't go along with it. X

 

[Susanne]

We have a similar situation - I am a lapsed Catholic but with parents who would be very keen on a Catholic christening, my husband a semi-lapsed Muslim - and we have always done the non-religious naming ceremony instead and chosen "godparents" for our children anyway. As with oh so many things in parenting, when the parents have different ideas or wishes there has to be some sort of compromise, and personally I think this is a fair one...

 

[pinkyprincess]

I do think he'll cone round, he just initially takes things as victimisation starts shouting (far too quickly) and leaves it, I couple of weeks later something's mentioned and turns out it's going to be done my way lol.

How have people taken the civil ceremony? Do they think it's strange or do they accept it? I've never been to one myself.

 

[suzzi]

i want to get our LO christened or have a naming ceromony, my dilema is slightly different from yours but its bugging me no the less.

My OH has a daughter who is 17, i have a 16 and 15 year old and none of them have been christened, when i mentioned to OH about having our LO done he said we could have them all done, now call me selfish etc but when he was with his ex wife if they wanted their daughter christened they should have done it! same as me with my 2, i dont want a mass christening which we will no doubt be paying for, and having to invite my ex and his family and his ex and her family if all the kids are done!!! ive not mentioned it since.

 

[pinkyprincess]

I wouldn't be happy with that either! Are you going to leave it now?

 

[i.love]

I also don't have a religion, and I personally would not christen my child, as it would feel... wrong to swear on something I don't believe in. Even though I am not religious, I respect other people's religions, and it would feel to me like I am mocking them, or being disrespectful to something that is sacred to them... you know what I mean? Maybe I am just being funny, but this is how I personally feel.

I think just a nice dinner with a cake would be a good enough celebration for me anyway

But if my OH really really wanted the baby to be christened... Well I guess I would agree then. No need to argue about such things I guess...

xx

 

[suzzi]

i still would like a naming ceromony/christening but wont be having the other done at the same time, not said anything to other half yet but if it pops up again i will, feel like just because i want our LO doing he thinks his dd should be done.

 

[pinkyprincess]

I also don't have a religion, and I personally would not christen my child, as it would feel... wrong to swear on something I don't believe in. Even though I am not religious, I respect other people's religions, and it would feel to me like I am mocking them, or being disrespectful to something that is sacred to them... you know what I mean? Maybe I am just being funny, but this is how I personally feel.

Exactly!

I don't understand why it has to be religious at all! If anything my family are more religious than OH's as my Grandad's a vicar (and married to one lol!), and IF I was to do it religiousy, I would want my grandad or his wife to do the service, which I'm sure would cause more issues lol.

 

[Olive]

I was christened and so was OH but neither of us are practising Catholics (which is probably even more evident as we're not married lol). I grew up going to church with my Mum, brother, Nan and Grandad as my Dad didn't believe in it. OH grew up with his Mum a Catholic and Dad a Protestant so his Dad didn't go to church with them either!

We both stopped going as kids as our Mum's lapsed. OH isn't remotely religious. I'm not really either, I just have more of a respect for it than him as my Grandad's social life at 91 is going to Mass.

Anyway, no to christening. Lol. I think it would be hypocritical to have a christening when we're not religious. Same way as if we ever get married, it won't be in a church.

xxx

 

[Rachaellius]

Neither me or my OH are religious either and have both agreed on a naming ceremony as we would both feel hypocritical.
As Pinky says though I intend to teach my LO about religion and let them make any decisions without objection when they're older.
x
Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk

 

[mum2b410]

This is a tough one and am in a similar kindof situation but we haven't decided what to do yet!...........Been looking online a little bit and I think u can have a 'blessing' type service instead of actually christening or baptising your baby. Might be a suggestion as keeps a religious element without having to promise too much about child's upbringing etc? I haven't really looked into it enough tho. xx

 

[mum2b410]

Also thought I'd share.....

My friend had a naming party for her LO and instead of godparents picked 'guide parents' to have a similar role. They held it at their house with friends and family and a few people said a few words in celebration.........nothing too formal and yet made a point of celebrating LO's life...........she got lots of presents too! lol It was really nice xxx

 

[Rachaellius]

At what age do people think is best to do these celebrations at too?

 

[DW1978]

I totally agree with you. I was not bought up in a religion at all and DH was bought up Catholic although he now no longer believes in any of it. We had a humanist wedding ceremony in a concert hall and Lennon has not been Christened as neither of us believe in it.

 

[Princess81]

I'm not christened our family are pretty agnostic all ceremony's we've had have been humanist. O/h's family however would not consider not christening a child. I/h says the baby would go to hell if it died so looks like it means a lot to him to get the baby christened. Therefore, he can organise it I say (bet you it doesn't happen). I'm not opposed but I'm not for it either iykwim?

 

[positivity :)]

we are considering a humanist service for baby too with 'guide parents' rather than god parents, have a good look into it pinky, its deffo a compromise xx

 

[littlemiss83]

I was given a good bit of advice regarding christenings ect when my 1st was born -

Dont get your baby christened in any religion unless you intend to bring them up in the teachings of that religion - ie taking them to church each week ect.

My OH was brought up as a catholic, me as a protestant (church of scotland) but neither of us are religious in any way so none of our kids will be christened.

A non-religious celebration of some sort would be nice but I doubt it will happen tbh.

 

[Toni_Win]

My OH and I feel the same. Neither of us is religious, we don't go to church and don't really believe in religion. That's why when we got married we had a civil ceremony, mainly because it was easier but also because it did feel hypocritical to have a ceremony in a church when we don't go. However, my OH parents are born again christian and part of them still feels like we're not technically married, at least not in the eyes of God. They've gotten over it as far as our wedding is concerned, but I think when it comes to their grandchild, they'll try and be a bit more forceful about it. So when we tell them we're not having our LO christened it's going to be a hard conversation. But at the end of the day this is our child, and it's our decision how we raise him/her. I guess I'm lucky the arguement is with grandparents, not my OH.

 

[pinkyprincess]

Wow I'm so glad so many other ladies are in a similar situation. I'm defo going to push for a naming, not christening, I was worried they were viewed as a bit 'hippy' will be interesting to see how his family take it tho, as although they aren’t religious they are pretty old school! I'm worried about our family's meeting too as his have more, lets just say 'controversial' views on things than my family :s I guess they'll have to meet one day tho!

Did everyones familys get on ok?