Can you chose to have a c-section?

[dannii87]

P.s i just wanted to add that no decision we make is the wrong or right one, we all make choices we feel are right for us and whilst we are there to advise and support (even if its against or for) it is ultimatly that persons right as a human to feel as they wish...
x

Move over Gordon Brown!

 

[emsmum]

Hi

Can you talk to your midwife about it. Maybe she could refer you so can talk your fears through with someone.

The more we think about things and fear them the worse they seem and thats not good for you.

Sarah

XX

 

[charlotteheys85]

Thank you for all replys... never had so many

It's not the pain i'm scared of, (well obveously scared) but its not that, its a general fear somethin is going to go wrong, and my instinct tells me something bad is going to happen.
Its not that i'm "to posh to push" hehe...

i just feel extreamly scared of the situation of "natural birth"..

like people have said.. who isnt scared of it.. i know that, i have alot of friends/family with young children who rember birth like it was yesterday, all with different experiences, and each one amazes me in a different way, some actually enjoyed the experience.

I'm just really scared to the point its all i think about/dream about. i cant get to sleep with worry about it. I hope to have a natural birth without complacations, but life isnt always that easy as alot of you all know.. i'm abit away from "birth" yet anyway, and hopefully my feelings will change..

xx

 

[gerb]

i do understand your fear here myself i do have a simailr fear. i do feel most people fear birth tho to some degree

basically something i try to remember is- our bodies are made to do it. i wish i could be like the girls who dont want pain relief etc. i have come to terms with it a little by reading the birth stories etc and i have decided that im going to ask for an epidural as soon as i can have one so then by reasoning with myself that i shouldnt feel pain therefore theres nothing to fear.

the reason also i feel i would 'prefer' a c-section is that i have had surgery before and i did not find surgical pain that bad, i also work in a medical environment so i have a good understanding in surgery rather than a strong belief in my mind that i can work thru it. also last year i had a miscarriage and i had an extremely bad experience in hospital- i felt much more pain having contractions thru that than when i had surgery and i had a panick attack in hospital while i was waiting for my D&C and left the hospital without having it done, so i also feel scared if im induced and sitting around all day that i would panick and run off... from my point of view tho i would not ask for a c-section on the NHS knowing that the cost of it might stop someone else getting treatment they need (if i was geninely petrified obviously fair enough but i 'know' in my mind im being irrational so i know i dont have a genuine fear like one of the other girls mentioned- i will work thru it) tbh if i really felt i needed it id only do it if i was prepared to go private, of course if i need one thats a differnet situation!

i had a scan at the weekend and they have estimated that baby will be a 9lber (i know not always accurate) but baby is already head down (i know could move) but it was a bit of a reality check for me- i will have to do this!!

anyway im probably not helping here! what i think is that u sometimes the best way to understand your fear is to be prepared- nearly all the birth stories say how all the girls would do it again staright away to have baby in their arms. i also try to remind myself how lucky i am, some people take years to get pregnant or have lots of miscarriages so i am going to try and be strong and get thru it- after all its a priviledge!

i completely understand ur fear, i think like one of the other girls said u need to try and address why ur scared and see if u can work thru it- if u get past it im sure u will fear its a huge achievemnt at the end! i think ultimately tho how u are feeling is not that unusual and alot of people thinks this way at some point- hopefully its just something that will pass for u too rather than an escalating fear.

hope this helps- tho not sure if it does!!

 

[daftscotslass]

Is this a fear you've had the whole way through your pregnancy? The reason I'm saying is because I know I had "oh crap, how am I going to do this, just cut the baby out" moments throughout my pregnancy and I managed to push that baby out! So if I can do it anyone else can!

I agree with talking it through with a midwife first - just bear in mind that your choice is to do what your body was designed to do or put yourself through major abdominal surgery. Even if just to figure out why as others have said - I hate to say it but there are many things that can happen with a section as well as a natural birth.

 

[Steelgoddess]

Is this a fear you've had the whole way through your pregnancy? The reason I'm saying is because I know I had "oh crap, how am I going to do this, just cut the baby out" moments throughout my pregnancy and I managed to push that baby out! So if I can do it anyone else can!

When i got bigger in my pregnancy I sat in my bedroom and thought, oh shit! how exactly am i going to get this baby out?! (I obviously know how they come out etc but I shat myself for a few days)

The other thing is has something triggered you to feel this way?

I would REALLY reccomend What to expect what you're expecting because it has lots of different questions in there, in fact I cant remember thinking, omigod whats happening without looking in there and finding the answer, also the mummys on here are great and answer lots of questions and put you at ease.

Charlotte I think that is VERY natural to feel that way, i REALLY think you need to arrange a discussion with your midwife, write down a list of questions you might have, what exactly do you envision going wrong? Also have find a preggo buddy who is close to your due date... mine was Mandspice and we had lots of different fears probably triggered from previous miscarriages, she's just had her baby and whilst she ended up having a c section because baby took a little while she dealt with it very well.

You will too hon don't be scared...

 

[Princess_Puddles]

I was petrified too hun. I blocked thinking about it out for most of my pregnancy because I was so scared but when the final weeks loomed and being told that I had to be induced I literally spent days in my room crying and having panic attacks and I kept telling people I counldnt do it, I even shouted at them when they told me I could and I was asking the MW for a c-section everytime I saw her (even though really I didnt want one) but on the day I went to be Induced I was suprisingly calm, although deep down I was scared. If i'm honest it is painful and hard but I dont think it was as painful as I expected to be, it could have been worse and it is the most amazing and beautiful thing in the world. The girls on here got me through those last few days they were wonderful!!!
Please dont jump into the idea of having a c-section because its not pain free, in labour you will have the pain for a few hours, with a c-section you will have the pain for weeks/months. I know you're scared but speak to your MW/Consultant they can help you and any questions you may have.

 

[Neev]

If it is the nightmares you are having that are keeping things uncomfortable then try and see if this helps:

-A warm bath/shower before going to bed.
-Lavender oil on your wrists and a couple of drops on your pillow
-Jasmine oil (couple of drops in your bath)

Get your partner to give you a nice back rub/massage and head massage before going to bed, or stroke before sleep.

Dreams are more disturbing if our REM or time before sleep is spent thinking too much. Release the anxiety an hour before going to sleep. See if this pattern helps getting rid of this intuition you are having. I know what you mean about having that bad feeling something might happen but think positive, take some steps to getting a nice rest, it will help you relax.

Good luck

 

[Steelgoddess]

If it is the nightmares you are having that are keeping things uncomfortable then try and see if this helps:

-A warm bath/shower before going to bed.
-Lavender oil on your wrists and a couple of drops on your pillow
-Jasmine oil (couple of drops in your bath)

Get your partner to give you a nice back rub/massage and head massage before going to bed, or stroke before sleep.

Dreams are more disturbing if our REM or time before sleep is spent thinking too much. Release the anxiety an hour before going to sleep. See if this pattern helps getting rid of this intuition you are having. I know what you mean about having that bad feeling something might happen but think positive, take some steps to getting a nice rest, it will help you relax.

Good luck

Neev just reading your post has made me so sleepy and relaxed! ...

 

[Neev]

Sharne and I am running around DH trying to convince him to give me a hot oil head massage ... haha...getting there, I have my meaow voice on..

 

[Sherlock]

If you've had a decent happy healthy pregnancy and your baby is head down then chance is you will have be fine giving birth naturally. You will be in a consultant led unit which means that if there is any cause for concern for you or LO they will be sure to intervene if its needed. You will be down the hall from an operating theatre. Its all there on hand. Try for vaginal delivery and let the doctors decide if you need an 'emergency' C section.

Remember that first babies generally are slower to arrive so any problems should have plenty of time to show up and be acted on.

I think you can dwell on something too long and make more of an issue of it than it actually is. Talk to your MW and discuss your worries and hopefully she can put your mind at rest.

FWIW I'd try some positive thinking and take control of the situation and make positives from it, not negatives. yes there are some down side things to be aware of, but I do hold that having a positive confident belief in your body and your ability is helpful. So many women don't seem to give themselves enough credit for what they can do. You know yourself and your body. Start trusting it a little

 

[charlotteheys85]

thank you so much for replys.. some of which really touched me..

its actually really helped listening to your replys. i CAN do this...

i just need to keep thinkin of end result.. hehe...

i am going to stay positive and also try convincing OH to give me a masarge fat chance of that tho hehe...

thanks so much for you replys girls...

oh i love the PF!! hormones hehe xxx

 

[dannii87]

There is SOOOO much pain relief too sweetie which block pain out completely! (Epis etc)

Might be worth asking in Ask A Mum section any questions like, did they worry about childbirth and then the worry just disappeared when it eventually happened? Chances are, I bet a lot of women don't even enter panic mode when their labours start and just desperately want things to progress so they can meet their LOs!

I bet you will have a great labour! Your body is MADE for this. If you still have concerns in a few weeks time, still speak to your MW. It's better that you feel comfortable so if you're still worried, speak to your MW! She'll have heard it ALL before and should have the right words of encouragement and give you your options

xx

 

[Steelgoddess]

FWIW I'd try some positive thinking and take control of the situation and make positives from it, not negatives. yes there are some down side things to be aware of, but I do hold that having a positive confident belief in your body and your ability is helpful. So many women don't seem to give themselves enough credit for what they can do. You know yourself and your body. Start trusting it a little

I completly agree! It has taken that can do attitude to want to try and succeed at a natural birth (from someone who was bricking it to start with!!)

Glad u feel better Charlotte

 

[lea m]

Im glad your feeling more positive Charlotte!!
Can I ask (coz im a nosey cow hahaha) what hospital are you going to!?! I might have asked you this once in tri1!? hahaa Waaaaayyyy back then!
You can do this, you will do this and also look back anf think "why was I so worried??" (well until you get pregnant again then it all comes flooding back )
Nothing will go wrong and you will have all them health pro's around you making sure that you will be fine!!

 

[Jade&Evie]

Just seen this: I was exactly the same as you until I hit 36 weeks. My Nan offered to pay for me to have a private elective c-section because my family have had the worst births possible. Then I had my hospital tour. I saw the home from home room and then saw the op. theatre and I knew which I'd rather have my baby in!

After that, although the thought of labour scared the shite out of me- a c-section was so much worse! I just told myself I'd demand an epi as soon as I got in the hospital- my birth plan actually said that!

As it turns out, I laboured til 6cm at home and had Evie less than 3 hours after arriving at the hospital. I was home by lunchtime the same day. Compare that to my aunts c-section which 4 months later she is still healing from and there's no competition. Labour is an amazing experience. I don't want to upset the women who have had c-sections but IMHO giving birth naturally is the most empowering thing you can do.

 

[Tillytots]

ok.. this is so stupid and i have no reason to say why really, but i'd prefer a c-section than natural birth..

i'm soo terrified of natutal birth, and i know everyone is, and i never thought i'd be so scred, but i have nightmares most nights about it. And would love it if you could opt for a c-section.

Is it possible? or wishful thinkin? xx

WISHFUL THINKING?!

I think not! My friends who've had Caesareans took far longer to recover than I did and they had much more difficulty with their milk supply... !!

I was totally petrified of vaginal birth (I started a thread in 3rd Tri with my fears) but actually really enjoyed birth in the end and was so proud of myself afterwards.

Oh and I think you can't choose to have a Caesarean but I might be wrong.

aww Bex I remember how Bex was THE MOST scared person of labour. Throughout EVERY Tri she refused to even contemplate giving birth and her Connie was being delivered by the Stork! Well it turns out that Bex was absolutely fantastic in labour, one of the best labours Ive ever heard about

Dont opt for a Caesarean hun, you just have stage fright. Leading up to the big event scares everyone. When you finally go into labour you wont need to think about what to do, your body just does it. You were made to have a baby vaginally, not cut out of your belly. Its major abdominal surgery and with it can come all sorts of complications. LEave C-Sections to those who REALLY need it in emergencies and for medical reasons. Those ladies need them.

Good luck darlin, you'll be fine xx

 

[charlotteheys85]

Im glad your feeling more positive Charlotte!!
Can I ask (coz im a nosey cow hahaha) what hospital are you going to!?! I might have asked you this once in tri1!? hahaa Waaaaayyyy back then!
You can do this, you will do this and also look back anf think "why was I so worried??" (well until you get pregnant again then it all comes flooding back )
Nothing will go wrong and you will have all them health pro's around you making sure that you will be fine!!

Dont think you asked me hun,. but i'm going Stepping Hill in Hazel grove.. what about you?
Thats my most local apart from whythenshawe and i didnt fancy that one for some reason..

thanks again for more replys... your all right, majority of women go through it, and go on to have more, so its a small price to pay xxx

 

[hunnybunny]

I wanted to have a c-section while i was pregnant,but ended up having a speedy delivery,with just gas & air - and it was amazing!
Not nearly as bad as most people say,it does hurt,but it's berable,G&A makes you feel everything but not care
It only lasted 5 hrs and i was induced - which is meant to be even more painful then going into labour yourself.

 

[Strangeness]

I've just had my second baby, my first was a c section and my second was vaginally. To be honest I would pick a vaginal birth a hundred times over a c section. It's been 12 days after having Tamzin and I feel great! I had a tear which was sore for a while but no where near as sore as recovery from major surgery! For the first two weeks after my son's birth I could barely even cope with looking after him, I was so poorly. This time my hubby was back in work after a week and I've got two to deal with and we're doing good! If you can go for a natural birth I would go for it, you'll be so proud of yourself afterwards! Pushing my daughter into the world was the most amazing feeling, yes it hurt but it stops as soon as the baby arrives. There are more chances of things going wrong from a c section because it's surgery than from a vaginal birth. You can do it hun! I remember getting to your stage with my son and I was bricking it to be honest, then I got to due date and I was desperate to get him out