Can anyone understand why Im angry?

[EllieBelle]

I recently had my mother to stay with me in France, and whilst she was here she mentioned she had told her best friend about my pregnancy, to which her best friends replied "oh Im so sorry"!

Basically she is sorry as my mum wont get to see her grandchild as often as some grandparents as we live in France, but I was absolutely furious with such a comment, and told her I would expect such comments if she had told her I was dying, or couldnt have children etc, and not when she told her I was pregnant!

My mother tells me her friend was just thinking about her, but I still dont get it!!!

I have told my mother she can see her grandchild as often as she likes but it just means she has to come over to France a little more (and of course I will fly back to the UK on occasions too).

Am I right to be so mad, its been on my mind for days now!!!!

 

[LisaJ1986]

I would be mad. It's good news! No matter whether she sees you once a year or once a week, she'll still have a new grandchild!!! Other people have relatives alot further than France.

 

[Sammystar]

your mums friend sounds like a dizzy old mare! sorry!

she should be happy for her friend instead of trying to make her feel bad by saying she won't get to see her grandchild.

I live in Switzerland, my parents live in North Yorkshire. We see eachother twice a year for two weeks. Once when they come over here and once when we go there.

We speak very single day on Skype, and the kids chat with them. They get to see them on the webcam. It's not ideal, but I think we do better than many families who live in the UK yet miles and miles apart.

The times we are all together are so special and we enjoy them all the more. I don't feel my parents are missing out and nor do they!

Try not to worry about it

 

[Babylicious]

your mums friend sounds like a dizzy old mare! sorry!

she should be happy for her friend instead of trying to make her feel bad by saying she won't get to see her grandchild.

i agree

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Batty woman! just ignore silly comments lik that - your mum is thrilled and hats all that matters

 

[maybebaby]

What an odd comment! Like it would be better for your mum to have no grandchildren than one she doesn't see every day?

I'd be fuming too but make sure your mum knows your not mad at her - as long as she's happy that's what counts

 

[EllieBelle]

Thanks so much for the replies, the problem is my mum agrees with the comment, in fact when I told her I was pregnant, she said "well its good news for you", "but not good news for me as Ill never see it".......!!!

Think she has made such a big thing about me living here, that it seems to effect everything!!

I did have it out with her whilst she was staying and she told me I just would never understand, and to be honest I dont think I ever will as dont have that sort of mentality!

 

[nickilubs]

I would be peed off! She can see your babe as much as she wishes there is absolutely no need to see it as a bad thing its good news for her too. Makes no sense as for your mams friend after your mums comment on it being good news for you but not for her, could it be shes just putting words into her friends mouth?

 

[Slinky Sarah]

My brother lives 72 mioles away from us and we see him and the kids about 10 times a year or so.
Its not ideal but its just one of them things....will be the same when i move donwn to rotherham...will see mum about once a month or something most likely

 

[hennaly]

my sisters live round the corner from me and i never see them (their choice not mine) any contact you have is lovely so ignore silly unthoghtfull comments like that.

 

[MrsBrightside]

I moved from where my rents live to be with my OH at Christmas. They live 40 miles away from us. I always thought that my rents would play a massive part in my babies life when thinking about the day I would have a babs... now im living away this isn't going to happen as much as I would have liked... BUT its MY life and I need to make MY family which is what you are doing....

I think its a shocking thing to say to be honest, it brilliant news and I would be upset if my mother thought like that!!! (I have a feeling that she will feel that same as your mother thou to be honest!!!)

You will prob find that you mother will see alot more then some grandparents where they just live around the corner as she will be coming to stay with u and the other way around when ya come to stay in the UK...

 

[MagicMarkers]

I agree with the dizzy old mare comment, so much for congratulations eh !!

Oh and i add, selfish dizzy old mare !

 

[budge]

I recently had my mother to stay with me in France, and whilst she was here she mentioned she had told her best friend about my pregnancy, to which her best friends replied "oh Im so sorry"!

Basically she is sorry as my mum wont get to see her grandchild as often as some grandparents as we live in France, but I was absolutely furious with such a comment, and told her I would expect such comments if she had told her I was dying, or couldnt have children etc, and not when she told her I was pregnant!

My mother tells me her friend was just thinking about her, but I still dont get it!!!

I have told my mother she can see her grandchild as often as she likes but it just means she has to come over to France a little more (and of course I will fly back to the UK on occasions too).

Am I right to be so mad, its been on my mind for days now!!!!

i think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill and over reacting.
The comment was probably made by a woman who had grand children and knew what your mother was going to miss out on. She wouldn't have meant anything malicious.
Just forget it and concentrate on whats important.

 

[Red_Fairy]

TBH i feel i have to agree with budge, i dont mean to be harsh at all, but i really feel that this woman wouldnt have said it in a 'nasty way' and that its been taken out of content complety. She just means its going to be harder for her to enjoy the joys of being a grandparent then it would be if she lived across the street from you.
(obviously meaning that she would want to be there for you and the kids - not like somone who dosent give a dam)

please dont stress about such a comment, pregnancy is hard enough