Breastfeeding.... views to make you fume!!!

[emilia]

formula is banned in South African state hospitals? The government is pushing bf big time.

that is bloody stupid, i have nothing against breast feeding but any one who thinks they are being a better parent by breast feeding is wrong!

Hi Dionne...
The reason why formula is banned is because of "cultural" issues. Non- white South Africans see it as a "status symbol" when they use formula as it's expensive and show that they have money.

Freya, I'm also sorry that you couldn't bf your firstborn. I understand where you're coming from. I bf my firstborn for 2 weeks - I had so much wrong with my nipples, etc - nobody helped me and the HV's I was seeing just shrugged their shoulders. I didn't get support. I just don't agree with the publicity that the article in the Independent got - they should focus on more positives issues....

People have to be educated. I remember some time ago on this forum - a lady replied in a post that she thought bf was disgusting. I was so surprised to hear that from a pregnant mummy to be.
"Sid the Sexist" sums up the mentality.... "Tits Oot". A sad indication on society when folk see boobies as fondling material, rather than feeding objects.

Emilia xx

 

[Dee1985]

when they use formula as it's expensive and show that they have money.

oh right..

i can see how fuming u breastfeeding mums get, if i was breastfeeding and some one gave me a funny look i think ild chase em down the street and squirt my booby juice in their face

i find its more the older grannies that moan about breast feeding, why is this i thought most babies would have been breastfeed many yrs ago?

 

[beanie]

me saying that was ment the way i spoke of breastfeeding wasnt very nice, not that its not very nice for the baby!

ah, misread your post. sorry hun, it just hit a nerve as i have had to justify my decision to booby feed many times.

 

[Rosebay]

Hi,

Freya- I know where you're coming from hun. I had the worst possible first week with Elliott trying to breastfeed. I gave up after 7 days at the point at which he was throwing up my blood because of all the bad advice and inhumane treatment I'd been given in the hospital making my nipples so bad. I had mastitus and I know it sounds extreme but the pain in my boobs was worse than all the pain of my 17 hour labour. My milk never came in and it happened to my mum too. I still feel upset and emotional about it as I really wanted to bf but it just was not to be. Every time I looked at him towards the end of that week all I could think of was the pain I was about to go through and that was a very bad situation to be in for all of us. I had no support once I chose to go to formula, no one had given me any info on sterilising stuff (I got that purple book a couple of weeks afterwards) and if it hadn't have been for my mum and the people on this board I would have been clueless. My HVs have made me feel that I'm doing a poor thing by not breastfeeding and I think it's grossly unfair. I don't know what I'll do if I have another baby- probably have another go but I'm sure as anything going to try everything like nipple shields and feeding top up formula etc despite what they say and I'm not going to carry on to the point that I got to this time.

Several of my friends also had problems breastfeeding and we all get very emotional when we mention it or anyone else does- one friend whose baby is also 5 monnths still cries when she talks about it- she lost too much blood during labour and became anaemic and her milk didn't come in and in fact her baby lost so much weight they told her to go to formula but she still feels like she let her baby down. It doesn't help that even the tins of formula say that breasfteeding is best for your baby! I don't know what my point is really, I guess just that this whole area is a very sensitive one for everyone however you feed your baby and for whatever reasons.

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[Rosieroo]

I'm sorry if I upset anyone with my post - I've got a tired poorly baby here and I'm a tired poorly mummy!

I am very emotional when it comes to breastfeeding as a subject. I don't understand why people automatically put their babies onto formula. I just wish they would try just for a few days, even if it was just to give the babe the colostrum. I'm sure if more mums tried it and saw how they could satisfy their babies and the bond it creates then breastfeeding rates would be a lot higher in this country. I don't understand why some women find it disgusting to breastfeed when it's totally natural. Maybe they've been conditioned by men? At the end of the day we're created with boobs to feed our babies with, formula should be something that is turned to as a last resort when feeding our babies ourselves doesn't work, and for these women they should be given the best support possible. I'm sorry for the ladies that can't feed their babies due to medical reasons, it's not fair. Especially as some really want to.

The thing that gets me is the lack of support, the government are trying to get the message across that breat is best and we get that over and over agin but the practical support is not there, and many women give up because they have been given the wrong advice or not reciebved enough support.

I agree. There is not enough information and support for women. Breastfeeding is seen as something almost taboo by some women. Hell before I got pregnant I thought the idea of it seemed gross, but then I conceived Ella and was constantly told how good it was for the baby and it made sense to try. I was hooked from that first feed!
It's not right to tell a mother that b/f doesn't hurt if the latch is correct - if this is so why was I told by a MW that my latch was right but I still ended up with slits, blood blisters and breasts so sore I couldn't even let water trickle over when I washed? I watched a Norwegian video in my antenatal group about b/f which really didn't help that much, and my MW showed us how to b/f with a doll. Unfortunately when you've got a crying writhing baby in your arms it isn't that easy to try and position them correctly! Mums should be told about growth spurts, milk supplies, problems with nipples, mastitis, thrush, blocked ducts etc before they attempt feeding. Maybe they think if they do they'll put even more women off of feeding? I was discharged from hospital (without them seeing Ella feed, I was told off for telling them I didn't think her latch was right and told to stop worrying) with a crappy photocopied leaflet with the telephone number of the NCT to call, but was told that I probably wouldn't want to ring them. I was never told that they were BF counsellors who would help me if I had a problem. Instead I battled on with advice from the internet. What if I didn't have the net? What if I didn't have you ladies to talk to?

I can't believe in this day and age that it is still legal for women to be asked to stop feeding their babies in cafes etc. If anyone dare come up to me and ask me that they would get a serious mouthful (and not of boob!).

 

[Rosebay]

I'm sorry if I upset anyone with my post - I've got a tired poorly baby here and I'm a tired poorly mummy!

Hi Rosieroo,

I'm not upset at all by anything anyone has said here don't worry, just pointing out what a sensitive subject it is. My antenatal group meets in the non smoking room of a local bar/cafe everyweek and 90% of the mum's breastfeed openly. If anyone had a go at any of them for doing it I'd be one of the first to defend them! All these thing should be about choice, support and absolutely no guilt any which way if at all possible

Hope you and the little one feel better soon
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[Rosieroo]

{{{hugs}}}

Want to go to bed......Bet Ella will be up at 11 and 4 again. Am tired! Got too used to her sleeping 12 hours!! She doesn't sound like she's going to get rid of this cold anytime soon. My fault for taking her swimming on Friday, the pool was freezing. Got out after a few mins but think the damage was done.

 

[Freya]

I am allso didn't mean to offend anyone. Just like you Rosebay it nearly made me cry every time I thought about not being able to breastfeed and definately made me feel like a bad mother. Like Dionne I was slightly offended by the modified cow milk comment as I think it was meant to be derogatory and that is not how I feel about mothers who b/f but it is that kind of comment that makes me feel upset (and would have addded to my depression after my daughter).
As for the article surely and open and honest debate about both methods of feeding is better than just making mums either feel guilty about b/f or bottle feeding.
As I said before NEW MUMS HAVE IT TOUGH and most of us want to do the best for our children (I didn't know what unconditional love was until I had my daughter but I would die for her) so to make us feel like we are not doing that at a very emotional time is not very nice.
Roseiroo my daughter is healthy, happy and has no allergies maybe I was lucky but I know lots of bottle fed babies who are also very healthy and breast fed children (one who was breast fed until she was 2) who are never at school, have many different allergies and what you would call a sickly child. I guess some children are just going to be like that anyway!!!!

 

[Manda]

I would never critisise (sp?) anyone for there choice on how they feed bubs, BF never appealed to me, i didn't have anything against it just no one in my family had done it and i just didn't think i could do it, but when i found out i was pregnant i looked forward to trying it, cos Abi was prem and i was so ill after the birth Abi had formula for 2 days then the midwife came and started expressing some milk from me until i was well enough to do it myself and BF, Abi then had mainly my milk after my milk came in but it had to have extra calories put in it for her to gain weight, i then exclusively BF until 10 weeks then started giving her formula in the nights - she started sleeping through 12 hours the night she had her 1st bottle of formula and continued to do this for 3 months then coming back to Oz messed her up a little and she now sleeps about 11 hours but with a dream feed before i go to bed. she now has about half and half and i have considered giving up BF altogether.

My baby is perfectly healthy has not had any illness apart from chicken pox at 3 months which was picked up when i took her to be weighed and her skin is perfect. My mate bf both of hers for the 1st year and they are always ill with colds and ear infections, i don't think what you feed your baby has much of a say in illnesses i think it's down to the luck of the draw and family history.

No mother should have to answer to anyone about her decision to bf or formula and her wishes should be respected. If anyone including health visistor made comment to me they would get a mouthful, the look i got of my HV the other day when i told her i was thinking of giving up boob nearly started me i think the look she had back stopped her from opening her mouth.

 

[Kim]

Not a day goes by that I don't wish my boobs would fill back up with milk and that I could start b/f again. But I gave up for my own reasons and it was the best decision for me at the time. However, if I had been better educated and better prepared I would not have given up so easily. I feel very guilty that I gave up and hate myself for it. It will be something I regret for the rest of my life, and like some of you have mentioned, I could cry when I think about it.

 

[Lucy]

I can't believe in this day and age that it is still legal for women to be asked to stop feeding their babies in cafes etc. If anyone dare come up to me and ask me that they would get a serious mouthful (and not of boob!).

I only found out a month ago that in Scotland it's illegal to ask a bf or ff mother to stop in any public place, the fine is £2500! Gave me much more confidence about feeding in public.

I agree that there needs to be more support for new mums in general, when I was having a terrible time of the bf the HV that takes my local BF support group said to me that if I went to formula I couldn't go to the group anymore (I worked that one out Einstein - it being a BF support group!!) because "what support would I need if I was going to plonk a bottle in my baby's mouth", Olivia was 10 days old at the time and i was so tired and sore and emotional that just made me even more upset!

Lucy

 

[beanie]

I got tutted at earlier on. We had gone to our local for a meal and it turned really cold so we had to go indoors to get our food. Seren decided she was hungry so I went and sat in the corner and fed her. I could hear tuts coming from the table behind me, I nearly got up and put my boobs in their dinner to give them something to really tut about. Funnily enough Dionne they were an elderly couple

 

[Rosebay]

because "what support would I need if I was going to plonk a bottle in my baby's mouth", Olivia was 10 days old at the time and i was so tired and sore and emotional that just made me even more upset!

Lucy

Hi,

poor you, I'm not surprised! That's the attitude around here as well as I would say that the majority of women here breastfeed and sometimes, especially in the first few months I felt like an outsider because I couldn't do it. They all go to lunches for breastfeeding mothers and a special social group and me and the other couple of women in our post-natal social group couldn't go to them. If it wasn't for this list I think I'd be in a much worse state about it! Also I got into problems feeding him formula as he went straight into drinking huge quantities of SMA Gold. When I told the HV that I was worried he was drinking too much she fobbed me off with a statement that baby knows best what they want yada yada but then two weeks later when he had shot up two percentile lines I was told that he was a greedy baby and that I was feeding him too much! Her suggestion was to water the formula down which the tin says never to do. If it wasn't for this list I wouldn't have thought to ask her about the SMA White for hungrier babies and she wasn't keen or didn't seem to know much about it but I switched him and he dropped his intake by about 15oz a day and has increased his weight in line with the percentile line since if you see what I mean. There are some basic things about formula (like the equation that you should give 2- 2/15 oz per lb of weight) that are actually useful but I had to find out for myself. Very annoying! The right formula is critical to all sorts of things like reflux too. My friend who still cries about it sometimes went to one of our HVs when she was worried about her baby being underweight due to reflux and she asked for some help and advice and the HV refused to give her any advice saying that she wasn't allowed to! She had got confused by the fact that HVs can't give advice about brands of formula not general advice! Ok this HV is notoriously rubbish but when you haven't realised that and you're totally new to it all and worried about your baby and already feeling like a failure that kind of mistake is pretty devastating. Thankfully she went to her GP who was great. So actually you need some support and advice whatever you end up doing!

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[Dee1985]

Funnily enough Dionne they were an elderly couple

its a bloody good job i dont breastfeed....

ild be in prison now for having so many fights, i cant just keep my mouth shut i no ild smack them one straight in the gob,



going of the subject but.....

Dior has got the quinny zapp buggy and i was pushing her a few days ago and sum old granny walked straight up behind me and said to her granny friend
"why any mother would by them pushchairs, i mean look at that poor child"
i couldnt keep my mouth shut and said
"why any woman would by them shoes is beyond me" and pointed to her shoes, they were just the typical granny shoes she huffed and walked off.

sying it was a shame for my child! cheeky bi*ch Dior has a big lovely mamas and papas cosy pram but in and out the car i use her zapp

 

[Kim]

lol dionne i wish i'd been there thats hilarious!!

 

[Dee1985]

midwives can be so anoying, they need to be told facts and thats it,
so many times i have so many midwife tell me differnet things one says make sure u give baby water between feeds one says dont one says dont worry your baby aint breastfeed one says im lazy.

i think they need to al be told one thing and not all going on personal oppinions!

can be to confusing!

mums no their baby best. so there

 

[Rosieroo]

I agree that midwives and HVs should all sing from the same sheet - the differing advice they give is awful!

Plus there should be access to a b/f counsellor at every clinic. I know where Lucy lives they have breastfeeding buddies who come around and help you b/f, but we don't have that in my area. Now that would have been fab for me!

Those women who had to give up due to health/medical reasons shouldn't feel guilty. It's not your fault you didn't receive the right support, don't feel angry at yourselves, feel angry at the system! It's National Breastfeeding Awareness week coming up soon, I'm going to try and find out if there are any events planned in my area.

 

[Rosieroo]

Dionne - what's wrong with a Quinny anyway? I really like them! I'm lucky in that the oldies I know are quite supportive of my feeding (did it in front of Matt's gran the other day!), but it's the younger people that haven't been. My own sister practically urges if Ella dribbles a bit of milk after her feeding, in her words 'that's come from your tit'. I think that her reaction and that of certain people in my family (when are you putting that baby on a bottle etc) make me more touchy about the subject of b/f. I have to try and be a b/f martyr to ram the point down their throats, so I've become more and more obsessed with promoting it as time goes on.
I'm sorry if I come across harsh sometimes, I don't mean any offence to the women that have had to give it up for no fault of their own, I don't want to make you feel more guilty and wish you wouldn't.

 

[tracyM]

It was on the news this morning that the World Health Organisation are publishing development, weight, height stuff based on breastfeeding mothers, to be used for all babies.

http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/rel ... index.html
http://www.who.int/childgrowth/

The stats come from breastfeeding babies in 8 countries instead of bottle and breast fed in USA. Whether the NHS will adopt the new charts is a different story, but I can just see my HV having a dicky fit because all her bottlefed babies are suddenly obese

 

[Kim]

Sorry this will be long but I wanted to explain my reasons for giving up and I think writing it down will help me to accept it.

I didn't give up for health reasons, more emotional ones and a lack of understanding. I hated breastfeeding, it made me feel depressed every time she latched on (hormones maybe??). I was lucky, she was really good at it and I never had any pain, but I had really bad baby blues and it was making them worse. I felt really down and that I had no life. She would feed almost constantly and I felt that if I didn't give myself a break I would become depressed. She always seemed hungry and I thought she wasn't getting enough from me. If I had known all the facts then, I would have known that she was getting enough. I started off by giving her 1 bottle of formula a day. I loved the freedom it gave me when someone else could take over and it soon increased to 2. Because she was going longer between feeds I started going out, but when I got back, I had leaked everywhere and thought I wouldn't have any milk left and gave her fomula, it was purely that I didn't know anything. It soon became that I would give her fomula in the day and b/f at night, but she started to like the bottle better and refused the breast. So I started expressing, but that was difficult and time consuming, and my milk started drying up so she soon ended up mainly on fomula with 1 b/f and 1 bottle of expressed milk per day, then down to formula with 1 bottle of expressed milk, then fully fomula. After I stopped b/f, she sometimes got a bit restless and becuase I still had a tiny bit of milk I would put her on the breast for comfort. Because there was no pressure and my hormones had settled doen, I really enjoyed it and regretted giving up. I exclusively breastfed for 3.5 weeks, then mixed with formula for about 2 weeks, then mixed formula with expressing and the occasional b/f for about 3 weeks. She has been fully on fomula since she was about 8 or 9 weeks old.

So that's my story, I didn't give up for medical reasons, so should I feel guilty??

Thanks for reading