Breastfeeding or bottle feeding?

[Charlotte1993]

I was desperate to bf my children but struggled both times due to supply issues. Everyone talks about how uncomfortable it is when your milk comes in and leaking and engorgement etc. I've never experienced any of that. I produced milk, just not enough and as my breasts don't respond to a pump expressing to increase supply wasn't an option for me either. Everyone says that there's very few women who can't bf etc etc but both my babies dropped weight and didn't have enough wet or dirty nappies when exclusively bf but did when ff. I took medication and supplements to increase supply, nursed, nursed, nursed, ate lactation cookies, carrot juice gator aid and any other little hint or tip that I could find to help increase supply. Heck if someone had told me to dress in a potatoe sack and do the salsa I'd have tried it!! But nothing worked and there was just not enough milk.

My inability to bf has affected me a lot and I'm still very triggered by things relating to bf. It's taken me days to respond to this post even!

Nobody can deny that breast milk is best for your baby but that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with formula. The next time you're in a queue of people, look at the person in front of you and the person behind and tell me if they were bf or ff.

I combined fed both my children as rule number one is: feed the baby! I used a supplemental nursing system with my daughter (a thin tube which has one end in the formula and the other slides into babies mouth as or once they've latched) which meant I could supplement her at the breast. This meant that although she was having formula I still got to nurse her. That tiny little tube saved my bf journey and prolonged it to six months at which point my daughter decided she wanted bottles only.

I had complete strangers asking me if I was breast feeding but nobody gives a toss what I feed my six year old! There is no right or wrong way to feed a baby, the only rule: make sure baby is fed! Everyone will have an opinion on it and it is a topic in which passions tend to run high, but do what works for you and your baby.

XX

Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate it, givong what you and other have wrote will really help me! How do you go on if you breastfed baby and struggle to in public or when your out, how can you do the breastfeeding pump thing? XX

 

[Emily0505]

I never struggled in public. I bf sat on a garden seat display in the middle of B&M when my daughter was 10 days old! I bf in cafes, at the zoo, ringside at an agility competition, basically wherever I was when bubs needed feeding I fed her!

You can do it discreetly and show basically nothing- I would wear a vest top under my clothes and then pull my normal top up and vest down to keep me decent. I've had a conversation with someone who didn't realise I was nursing! Lo! I never had any comments from anyone negatively or positively for that matter. Other than a staff member in B&M offering to get me a cushion, everyone was completely indifferent!

You can get specific tops for bf and there's a good fb group called can I bf in it which you could look at. Having easily accessible nursing clothes can help with feeding in public or alternatively you can get bf covers or use a light scarf or muslin. Lots of babies will object to having their heads coveted though.

If you're worried about public feeding them how about these ideas: get the hang of it at home initially and then if you want to try it out and about you could maybe take a friend with you for moral support if you're comfortable. Perhaps try feeding in public at a bf group or toddler group where it'll be more commonplace or go to town on a quiet day, find a quiet cafe and tuck yourself in the corner where you feel less on display and have a go. At the end of the day do whatever you feel comfortable with. It is your right as a mother to nurse your baby in public and the law supports this. Nobody can force you to move, cover up etc but if you're worried you'll find a way round it - you can express and bottle feed when out if bubs will take a bottle that is as not all will.

XX

 

[p1ngu]

Most believe that every child has the right to be fed, breast or bottle and every mother has the right to decide how they feed their child.

Some mothers don't try because they know they can't. Some mothers don't try because it will affect their mental state and it's far more important to have a fed baby rather than an unhappy mother, struggling because she feels she has to at least try.

There are plenty of benefits and negatives to both breast and bottle feeding and no mother should be made to feel guilty for chosing one over the other. We all have the same interests at heart and that is to feed our babies, love them, make them happy and keep them safe.

There's very few women who truly can't breastfeed. I blame lack of support. It's all well and good a mother trying everything she can but if baby is not latched correctly, or there is another issue, some help from someone who is properly trained can mean the world of difference.

It's not wrong to think every baby deserves to be fed in the way nature intended. In reality it should be breastfed is the normal standard milk for baby and formula is sub par. People would probably find that more offensive but it is the truth.

I have formula fed my oldest 2 (children with an ex partner who was not supportive) and the guilt was quite bad. I've since had 3 more babies (with my husband) and breastfed them all. It was hard but I stayed determined. And I can say from experience is that it was easier than formula feeding and the bond is different. Yes you still bond with formula fed babies but it's a totally different feeling and it's quite had to explain to someone who hasn't breastfed.

When someone is interested in breastfeeding their baby it's not really encouraging them to reply saying how formula is fine, don't feel guilty if you don't try, not everyone can do it etc etc. What they need is encouragement! Society's attitude towards breastfeeding is crap, it needs to change!

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[Summergurl]

And people's attitude towards formula feeding is also crap.

If somebody asks about feeding a baby surely they should see both sides on how to feed a baby and then make up their own mind rather than be told they should at least try? Especially when the post is titled breast v bottle.

I didn't try because it would affect my mental state far too much. That's not a bad thing. That's making a good choice for both me and my baby.

I won't be responding or reading anymore comments in this thread.

 

[Emily0505]

Most believe that every child has the right to be fed, breast or bottle and every mother has the right to decide how they feed their child.

Some mothers don't try because they know they can't. Some mothers don't try because it will affect their mental state and it's far more important to have a fed baby rather than an unhappy mother, struggling because she feels she has to at least try.

There are plenty of benefits and negatives to both breast and bottle feeding and no mother should be made to feel guilty for chosing one over the other. We all have the same interests at heart and that is to feed our babies, love them, make them happy and keep them safe.

There's very few women who truly can't breastfeed. I blame lack of support. It's all well and good a mother trying everything she can but if baby is not latched correctly, or there is another issue, some help from someone who is properly trained can mean the world of difference.

It's not wrong to think every baby deserves to be fed in the way nature intended. In reality it should be breastfed is the normal standard milk for baby and formula is sub par. People would probably find that more offensive but it is the truth.

I have formula fed my oldest 2 (children with an ex partner who was not supportive) and the guilt was quite bad. I've since had 3 more babies (with my husband) and breastfed them all. It was hard but I stayed determined. And I can say from experience is that it was easier than formula feeding and the bond is different. Yes you still bond with formula fed babies but it's a totally different feeling and it's quite had to explain to someone who hasn't breastfed.

When someone is interested in breastfeeding their baby it's not really encouraging them to reply saying how formula is fine, don't feel guilty if you don't try, not everyone can do it etc etc. What they need is encouragement! Society's attitude towards breastfeeding is crap, it needs to change!

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

The OP asked for views on both breast and bottle feeding.

I think she's had a range of opinions for both breast and bottle with people sharing varied experiences.

I was worried this post would descend into yet another bf vs ff debate and was pleasantly surprised when it had remained so civil. I don't think anyone has displayed a crap attitude towards breast feeding and I don't think anyone has been anything other than informative and encouraging of the op to do whatever she feels is best.

 

[Emily0505]

I agree in terms of lack of support being an issue.

In relation to your comments about no matter what you try if latch is wrong etc it wont help and you need professional support, I'm assuming that was in relation to my post. I was in hospital for a week with my first and had support at every feed. With my daughter we were in overnight after birth, but seen back every other day for three weeks for various reasons. I had my latch checked repeatedly, feeds observed, different holds etc and I was still unsuccessful in exclusively breast feeding my children.

It really isn't black and white. There are so many factors that lead women to bf, ff or combined feed and seeing as how there is already so much pressure on mums, I really feel we should be supporting one another whatever our choices. Breast may be best, I cannot dispute that but you won't harm a baby by giving it formula. It's a subject where passions run so high and people feel very strongly about it so I think we all need to remain respectful of others choices even if they contradict your own.

XX

 

[p1ngu]

I didn't mean people's attitudes here towards breastfeeding were crap, I just meant in general and it puts mums off breastfeeding.

If people are confident in their choices then other people's comments shouldn't make them feel bad. Me saying every baby deserves the right to be breastfed is not what is provoking feelings in others, it is their own feelings about their own feeding situation

 

[Emily0505]

But it's such an emotive subject that women are not confident in their choices and both sides made to feel judged regardless of what they choose.

I think it is unhelpful that the second the use of formula is mentioned it's seen as being unsupportive towards bf. It's perfectly acceptable and achievable to do both.

I was very lucky in terms of response from people when I fed in public. All I got was smiles or people remained indifferent. Personally I think that a large part of the problems with attitudes towards bf comes from mums themselves. A discussion about bf vs ff will inevitably open a can of worms. Women are immediately feeling defensive over their choices and worried they'll be judged. If you bf you'll be accused of looking down on ff, if you ff you didn't try hard enough to bf etc.

Women need information, facts and support for their choices whatever they may be.

 

[Emily0505]

In think saying every baby has a right to be breast fed shows a disregard for the right a mother has to choose what is best for her and her child.

My inability to breast feed was a contributing factor to the post natal depression I suffered after having my son. What is best for a baby? Breast milk and a mother who is medicated and barely able to get out of bed in the mornings or formula and a mum who is happy and able to function? Obviously it's not as cut and dry as that, but that's the point I'm trying to make - it's not as black and white as breast feed because that's what's best for your baby. There's so many factors to take into account.

 

[chattychar1990]

I personally think whatever works for you and your baby. There is no right or wrong.