Breaking dependancy!!

[JoAnn&Aimee]

Aimee has become quite dependant on either Ewan or I holding her until she falls asleep. After she has fallen asleep when we try to put her in her basket she usually stirs and it has her up again for the next hour or so. It is now causing a lack of sleep for us. How can be break this dependancy without having her screaming in her basket? I don't like the idea of her crying like that, it makes us feel like we are neglecting her.

I spoke to the HV briefly about it on Friday and she suggested putting her into her basket and just leaving her but she just cries when we do that. This morning after Ewan left for work I put her in her basket and although she wasn't crying she was moving about and making noises, she settled after 30 minutes and drifted off to sleep.

Lack of sleep is getting to us now. Both of us have short fuses right now and are snapping at each other over small silly things because we are so tired.

 

[NICCI]

i dont have any advice, but we r goin through the same thing at the moment with jack!

u and your OH have my sympathy!!

 

[Sylvie]

In the first few weeks we were doing exactly the same, rocking Louis to sleep in our arms before putting him down in his basket... and being afraid that he might wake up when being put down, which happened most of the time So we were rocking him to sleep again thanks to the Moses basket's rocking stand. Very stressful and tiring indeed! Then we tried to introduce some sort of bedtime routine and decided to put him in his Moses basket immediately after his last evening bottle (taken in the dark in the bedroom). Obviously the first couple of times he didn't like it and cried but we managed to resist picking him up (I had to refrain my OH from doing it!), just tried to soothe him talking or singing to him or giving him a dummy. We were probably very lucky but it worked quite quickly (the crying changed into moaning then into silence!) and he started sleeping through the night when he was almost 2 months old. Now bedtime is no longer a problem at all
Good luck

 

[Sherlock]

Uhhh thats normal behaviour for a baby in the early weeks. They just need to be cuddled and want to be close to you lots. Heartbeat, smell, its all reassuring to them. It takes time to adapt to life outside the womb.

FWIW we did manage to have Galen settling on his own and going off to sleep by 6 weeks. But it was hard work. And I only had to do this because of health reasons on my part. But many a night I sat up just holding him in my arms for hours as every time he went into his basket he would stir and cry.

I don't have time tonight to write and explain what I/we did to achieve him settling. I'll try tomorrow. Short version...

I'd suggest putting something of yours in her basket so she can smell you. Also warm it up with a hot water bottle or blast it with the hair dryer before you put her in it. Nothing worse than going into a cold bed. And also keep skin on skin contact for a while when you put her in the basket. Hold your hand on her head while she settles. Once she is settled, remove it. If she fusses again, put it back. Clock or radio under basket in the day so she has some background noise. We did that and a few other things and over the course of 2-3 weeks we managed to get him to settle well away from me/us.

 

[DaisyRose]

Hiya,

That sounds very familiar!!!! I've finally got Ruby to sleep most of the night in her basket but it's taken a while.....

I'd recommend putting her in the basket for short periods to get her used to it, and gradually lengthening them; stay close to begin with so she can hear/smell you (we've always had the basket right beside the bed to begin with) and then gradually move it away. Another thing that I've done with all three of mine is to keep the basket/ dark room for night sleeping (during the day I have put them on the play mat, or in the bouncer or buggy to sleep and kept them with the family - I think it has helped them to establish a night/ day routine and recognise the difference).

All the best, it does get better!!!

 

[lauramumof2]

Is there any chance she doesnt like the basket? I never found Jess to like the moses basket and with Joe we didnt use it. Cat liked it though. I would put something like your pj top in with her, the one you have had on the night before or a t-shirt you were wearing.
We used the carrycot part of the pram for a few weeks then they were in the cot.
I definately think the bedtime routine is a good idea, 4 years down the line our routine is still in place and they always know what to expect. Your wee one might be little but she will get it

 

[claire2711]

Do you swaddle Aimee? we have Riley in a sleepsuit, and swaddle him with a cellular blanket. That's how he slept from day 1 in hosp, and doesn't take him long to nod off these days. Only takes longer if he needs something (nappy change,milk,winding)

 

[BabyMagic]

Have you thought about co-sleeping?

In the early weeks we carried LO in a sling during the day and co-slept at night, as she hated both the moses basket and pram. I was a bit worried if I had to continue doing that for long periods, but at around 2 months it started getting better. I'd like to think that being near us in the early days built up her confidence. Now most of the time she is happy to sleep whereever I put her (falling asleep on her changing mat, play gym etc)...

Good luck

 

[Jade&Evie]

Evie was like this too but now she is a little bit older she is more than happy to be with other people or play on her own for a bit. The phase only lasted a few weeks but I remember how difficult it was as you feel like you never get a break!

 

[cheryl]

Hello, i've got a similar problem..my baby Jack sleeps fine in the moses basket during the day but wont settle at night without being held and most of the time we end up co-sleeping. My sister suggested putting something in the moses that smells like you and rolling up a couple of towels to put either side to make him feel more snug - haven't tried it out yet but might be worth a go. Good luck!

 

[maria1976]

I would suggest co sleeping, she is still so young and prob wants to be near you. I did this from day 1 as i getting her into cot or moses
Its not everyones cup of tea, but I wouldnt have got ANY sleep if I didnt do this.

x