bored new mother?

[Jones]

hey..well i got a beautiful 11 week old baby....but truth be told as much as i love her im bored and lonely. before having her i was working fulltime, had a fair social life and went to the gym....now im sitting there twiddling my thumbs feeling like a boring person for not doing anything. all my friends are busy, they have their own lives and i can hardly go out to clubs with them in the night etc i need to join a mother n toddler group i guess but im scared lol :s .....is there any other things i can do in the day'? what do u do in the day? ive started bck at the gym for an hour in the evening but thats hard work in itself...rush get ready, put baby on boob rush to gym then home.....please help......xx

 

[frankie707]

Baby groups is the best answer, people are always friendly and you have babies in common so there's always something you can chat about. Otherwise I find getting out for a walk good - fresh air for baby and a bit of exercise for you.

 

[Maria1977]

Hiya, I feel exactly the same alot of the time. I reeeeally miss going to the gym, but now when OH gets home I go for a run with the dog on the beach, it only takes me about 25 mins but it's the break I need.

I do take Oz to a baby group but I don't like the one I've been going to, haven't been the last 2 weeks coz the mum's are so unwelcoming and I just don't have the confidence to butt into ppls conversations and they don't include you, will chat a bit but then close off in a circle, my OH came with me once and he was like 'yeah now I know what you were talking about', I was so relieved coz thought it was just me being a bit paranoid but they are alot older than me (even though I'm 34!) and well up themselves lol

Anyways I ramble lol, my hairdressers told me about other groups so I'm gonna look into them and hopefully start making some new mummy friends.

I miss my freedom of doing what I wanted, when i wanted buuuutt I wouldn't be without my baby and am just going to have to start finding new friends.

xxxxxxxx

 

[FebMum2Be]

When Odhrán was younger I would have just went walks or to the shops, or visited friends with their babies, a lot of my friends have babies so I suppose I always had the option to see them and do something. Now Odhrán is a bit older we can go to the park, kick a ball, I always find myself in shopping centres though, LO likes looking around him and talking to people and I like getting out to look at bits and pieces.. I started cooking more when he was younger, even a nice cake to make myself feel a bit better.. You could start doing something creative at home that doesn't have to take up hours at a time.. Once LO is a bit older it does get easier and it's hard to find spare minutes of the day xx

 

[Amy_J]

i can totally relate to how you feel. i feel like all i do is housework!!! the first few months i dont think i even woremakeup lol.

and as awful as it may sound im relieved when its lo's bedtime as then me and OH get some time to us!!!

i dont go to baby groups either as tbh im not keen and didnt feel like i fit in with the other mums, they were very gossipy and opinionated and i dont know... i didnt like it.... that doesnt mean that your baby groups will be like that though!!!

i make an effort to go for a walk every day with lo even if its just to the shops and back or the park, the fresh air does us both good. i live right by the london eye so im more or less there every day by the river its really nice!!! i have friends who, when are free in the day we meet for coffee etc but being the only one with a LO we've kind of lost connection if that makes sense as im full of baby talk and theyre full of getting drunk etc etc. ..which is why i love this forum!

im sure things will get better for you! =)))

 

[rainbow dancer]

I keep busy by going to various groups although I do find some of the mums bitchy!! I just think of it as time for Lucy to play with new toys and have new experiences . I walk the dog twice a day bout an hour and half altogether. I take her swimming once a week and have booked onto baby massage course . I feel very much like you but you can make yourself feel better even a nice walk. Sounds bad but I miss work but am enjoying every minute with Lucy cause im back to work in sept.!! Xx

 

[Zazu]

I used to do loads of things in one day, now I take my time and do them over a week. I'm much more laid back, I used to always be on the go. No it's more like Monday - visit mum, Tuesday - food shopping, etc.

Baby groups are fab too, and then you can meet up with the other mums. I also go for nice walks. I found that as LO gets older and more active, and sleeps less, it's less boring.

I go back to work soon, so I need to get back into my fast pace frame of mind, lol xxx

 

[Jones]

thanks guys. its nice to know im not alone....i been feeling awful say when my partner comes home and says whats news? wa u bn up to...me : ''nothin muuuch'' went out shoppn this afternoon and bumpd into a friend so tha cheered me up a lil bit! xx

 

[inky]

I was the same until I started going to a group, now C has a much better social life than I ever did lol! We do baby signing on Monday, music classes on Tuesday, play group on Wednesday, swimming on Thursday and breast feeding group on Friday. We then visit family over the weekend, it's exhausting lol but he loves it all!

 

[JJ Mum]

I was just the same when I had my first, felt like a bit of an anti climax after pregnancy and people telling me you'd be busy, and getting all your work complete for maternity leave etc, and giving up my ice hockey fork such a long time. I didn't cheer up and find my feet till I made myself (not very brave!) go to at least one group a day. So each day did todlers or baby gym , messy play, music with mummy, swimming, more baby groups etc!! Then went back to my sport too so I had something for me, felt great so do keep trying to do the exersize when you can.

I make myself go to baby groups on mon, tues, wed and friday, and then treat myself to thursday as plod about at home day just for me and Devon and the house if he sleeps. I do find the groups hard like you do, but I try to meet or chat to one more lady and baby each time I go. I have a brain like a sieve so forget names as soon as I have left, so I put them into my phone in a notes section on the way home, and then the next time I go , take a look before I go in and then I don't feel like I'm starting again each time with names, and soon I get to know the ladies. (makes me sound like a mum stalker, but it works for me!) Once you have started going, keep going to the same ones as
then you can build up a rapport with the same ladies, and then hopefully you can move on to coffee etc at each others houses in a few months.

 

[FebMum2Be]

Cahal has a busy schedule ! We don't have much on offer round here, and anything that is available, isn't very good x

 

[JJ Mum]

Cahal has a busy schedule ! We don't have much on offer round here, and anything that is available, isn't very good x

Do they have any surestart centres near you, we have a couple in walking distance and they offer the baby groups to start you off , they are health visitor run , and mine offered me baby massage 5 weeks for just £10 , a bargain

 

[FebMum2Be]

Yeah we have surestart but the mother and toddler group is a joke, the mummys sit and drink tea and eat sandwiches and let the kids run riot, I spent my whole day saving Odhrán from other kids because their mummys are too busy with their friends.. Not what I was really after, think I'm going to start taking him swimming x

 

[inky]

I was going to suggest surestart, we're lucky we have about 4 we can go to, all of which free different programs of groups etc - everything we do except the swimming and bf groups are through surestart and it's not coated us a penny! We're starting a boogie babies course on 17th June too, no idea how we're going to fit that one in lol!

Swimming is s good idea, Cahal loves it!

 

[Minchin]

hey jones, how have the last few days gone?
I was also the same as many mummies on here. so weird when you're used to being busy at work and surrounded by loads of people. not that you're not busy when baby comes but is totally different. I got a bit down if I didnt leave the house evryday and also needed to have adult face to face interaction every day!!
we did a paid class but quit that now as too expensive-was gymboree (a chain) and soo much fun. mums were very friendly. we also found quite a few baby and toddler groups and luckily I have a bunch of girls from nct classes who I go with or meet up with in the park etc.
All i can sugest is like the tohers said start going to groups and try lots of different ones. Also maybe do a thread on here?
there may be some local mummies who fancy meeting up?
You'll get into the swing of it and then LO will have a bust social live I'm sure xx