Bonding with baby 2nd time round!

[LittleLambe]

I'm sure every 2nd time mum feels this, but I still can't help worrying. My little girl has just turned 2, and I love her so much it hurts. When I was pregnant with her I used to stroke and talk to my bump every day, but this time round, I barely remember I'm pregnant. I just that I will feel that same rush of love that I felt the second I layed eyes on Scarlett. I would be interested to hear how other people have bonded 2nd time round.

 

[Squiglet]

Yer you will don't worry. I've never been a bonder in the womb person. And always get to fall in love with my LO's when they are born.

I have seen some mothers prefer their seconds to their first...probably because they are more comfortable, secure and experienced the second time round so they find it easier to bond ... but lil miss is just like having Tia all over again and its just made me love Tia and lil miss more and more because I'm seeing lil miss grow, and reliving it again with Tia.

I know Tia better than lil miss, but lil miss is only just becoming a person so it stands to reason. Plus we have shared more time with Tia doing things, but I feel sad lil miss has missed out on that. I wish I'd had them both forever.

But whatever happens you love your babies regardless.

 

[valentine]

Aw Squiglet's reply is lovely.

I am very worried about this as my LO is my whole world at the moment, I can't imagine having to share our time and space and also barely remember I'm pregnant at times as I just don't have the same luxury of time as I did with my first.

However, I've read so many posts on here that say similar things to us then so many Mummies of two or more who reassure people like us, that this is a totally normal way to feel - you just adapt and your heart grows to love the new baby just as much as number one.

Valentine Xxx

 

[mary70]

you will hun i had the same worries with Hannah, kieron had been my world for 14 years and i couldnt belive that i had enough love in me to love them both the same but my god you do hun, they gave Hannah to kieron while i was coming round from the section (he stayed with me ) and when i looked round the first thing i saw was kie holding her and i thought i would explode with the love and pride i felt for them both

 

[LittleLambe]

Thanks so much for your reply's girls. I'm sure it will be fine, as you all say. I guess if this is all I've got to worry about I'm pretty lucky!!

 

[Xena]

first time round the rush of love I felt for Lydia was unbelievable. I cried every time I looked at her for at least 2 weeks after the birth - happy tears, tears of love.

I totally expected to be the same way when Alex was born...but I wasn't. I was just very matter of fact when he came. "Right he's born now, lets get on with it" type of thing.
I didn't dislike him or anything, I just didn't feel an instant bond. I felt so guilty that I didn't get the same rush with him.

I had a touch of baby blues after my second birth though so that didn't help matters really. It about 2-3 weeks before I stopped feeling sorry for myself.

Every day that went by though, I bonded more and more with Alex, and the love grew and grew. By the time a few months had passed, the love I felt for both of them was just the same. Now I look at both of them and I'm overwhelmed by how much I love them. I couldn't choose between them at all, I love them both like crazy.

So my advice is that you shouldn't necessarily EXPECT to feel the same rush of love with the second, because if it doesn't happen you'll be disappointed, but that doesn't mean that you won't love them both, even if it takes a little longer second time round, it WILL happen.

Then again you might get that same rush second time round. Just because it didn't happen to me, doesn't mean it won't to you! Some other women obviously do get it the same way the second time round.

I have no expectations this time round. Either I'll feel that rush of love straight away, or I wont, and it will take a little longer. It doesn't really matter.

 

[nissa]

I feel exactly the same as you too.

My DD is 8 now and it's pretty much just been us together so the idea of splitting my time with another baby is scary. We have been a happy little family for so long it's hard to imagine anyone else with us. I never thought I would have another child either.

Also, this baby is a boy and that worries me! I know that I will love him as will Phoebe but it is still a worry. My first pregnancy consumed every waking second but I almost resented this one at first because I was so sick and that affected my time with Phoebe.

I'm sure we will all love our 2nd babies just as much as our first but it is still a concern!