birth fear

[Baby2sky]

I had a horrific first birth which resulted in retained placenta, massive secondary partum hemorrhaging, rushed to theatre in an oxygen mask, a horrific internal after epitiosomy on the post labour ward with no pain relief, double transfusion of blood, water and platelets.

Im so so scared of it all. Not the actual birth but the aftermath. I can't bear the thought of going to the post natal ward again after what happened to me there. I keep having panic attacks thinking of it. I had a birth de brief and they said there is a higher risk it will happen again but that I will be monitored. However I can't help but think, what if i die? Its all I can think about and im having nightmares. My mum suggested c section but i don't think it reduces the risk and I have a 2 year old so I would rather avoid this.

Does anybody have any experience of anything like this? I really need to talk to someone. Will i be referred to a specialist? Im high risk any way. Thanks

 

[Sprout]

I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience. I've only just had my first baby but I'm already dreading the next because I also had a retained placenta, blood transfusions and a felt very uncared for while I stayed on the ward. I loved labour and the birth but the time immediately after was not pleasant at all. Nowhere near as awful as your experience sounds though.

Have a look at this website, hopefully you can find some help: http://www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/support.htm

I know it's easy to say, but try to remember that every birth is its own experience and there's every chance it will go much more smoothly this time.

 

[TTT]

Your experience sounds very traumatic and there's no wonder you're terrified. Have you discussed your fears with your midwife? They may be able to prescribe you some kind of anti depressant you help you with your anxiety. You could also ask what extra support is available to you and see what they can offer you - I think you will have to push for extra support and its worth speaking up now.

Also, have you considered a doula? I've not got experience of one but from what I've read it sounds like one would be helpful to you to keep you relaxed and calm during labour.

Good luck, I hope you get some extra support and a smooth labour this time.

 

[star fish]

You will be on a labour ward with consultant lead care rather than mid-wife led.

Make sure you tell every midwife that you get everything you said above. Write it in big letters on your birth plan and in your notes book. Put HIGH RISK in red pen on the front cover.

Basically what will then happen is that the midwives will be really vigilant, and a consultant doctor will check you regularly during labour. They won't miss a thing and you will be just fine. Lucky you, you'll get the best care going xxx