BFP after m/c - so so scared.

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Anna Marie, Dec 5, 2005.

  1. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Hi Everyone,

    AF was due today, I have done 6 tests.. all feint lines but + so I finally accept that I am Pregnant again. I know I should be over the moon but after all the tests and bad news I have had recently I didn't expect it to happen so soon so am somewhat taken aback. I just don't know if I am ready ...

    I am totally paranoid, every time I go to the loo I am petrified .. I keep expecting to m/c and every niggle / twinge I imagine the worst.

    Anyone else on here had a BFP after m/c and felt like this?
    If so how can I get through the next 9 months. I am so afraid - I want to be happy and excited instead.

    :(
     
  2. Guest

    First of all, congratulations!! :D

    I know how you feel hun, I had 2m/c's before this BFP and I was petrified of anything happening again. I did bleed again this time, but thankfully did not lose my baby.

    Try not to worry yourself (easier said than done I know) - it does seem to get easier once you get past that point of when you last m/c'd.

    Make sure DH looks after you well and you look after him too. This is a magical yet scary time for both of you.

    Wishing you all the best for this pregnancy and I'm sure you'll hang in there this time.

    xxx
     
  3. babsi

    babsi Well-Known Member

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    I had 2 m/c's before this baby, one in December 2001 at 7 weeks and a really horrible one in March 2002 (no idea at what stage) and really thought that the same was going to happen again, but gradually as time goes on and I went through certain milestones (like 1st scan at 12 weeks) things got better.

    At the beginning I really didn't know much and had quite a lot of cramps (like the 2 previous pregnancies) and was worried but was told everything was fine as it was normal to have that.

    It is only natural to worry after what you have been through but try and keep positive (easier said than done and I am probably a bit of a hypocrite saying that :wink: )

    Congratulations on the pregnancy and you ever want to talk pm me.
     
  4. sasswa

    sasswa Well-Known Member

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    Anna Marie,

    I know how you must be feeling. Like the other girls, I miscarried in July at 7 weeks. This time we fell pregnant by accident so we were extremely shocked and nervous.

    Once I got past the 7 week mark (as Sami said) it got easier but yep, everytime I think I'm bleeding I'm not, any twinge you get nervous, etc etc.

    I'm still not that excited.....we haven't told our family or friends. I'm feeling pretty positive that I'll go to term but until that scan and they say everything is ok - well I'll definately feel alot happier. We're now just worried that something will be wrong with it but I'm sure it'll be fine.

    The best advice I can give is - carry on as normal as you can. Last time I was pregnant I think I tried to be a magic mother or something - I can't eat this, I can't drink that, I can't lift this, crying here and there, etc etc - it's pathetic. Once you don't think about it and carry on with normal stuff, time moves very quickly and anyway, what can you do if you're going to miscarry - nothing.....I know that sounds terrible but it's true. There is nothing worse than getting yourself all worked up.....

    Take it easy darl and we're all here for you!

    Congrats!

    Sass
    xxx
     
  5. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much girls, you just brought a tear to my eye. You are all so right.. what will be will be and there is not much I can do about it except look after myself and think positively.

    I just wonder if I am perhaps not ready, but I suppose I would never be ready if I actually asked myself!!

    How did you guys all cope with those early days? I still keep expecting AF to arrive as I am not having any symptoms.. no cramps, no nausea and boobs are a little tender and swollen but not too bad. TEmps are still up so thats good. I suppose I cannot win.. if I had loads of symptoms [cramps etc] I would worry I am m/c ing again and if no symptoms I worry that the little bean is not going to make it.

    sorry I know I am driving myself mad.

    Trying to think of Xmas and keep myself busy with other things .. gladly it is a busy time of year and a happy one so just have to take each day as it comes.

    thanks again and so glad to hear you all are success stories to inspire me!!

    Sass i can imagine you feel still a bit vulnerable - but glad to hear you are confident and feeling positive ... :wink:
     
  6. babsi

    babsi Well-Known Member

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    I tested at 4 weeks, 4 days I had been late before so decided to wait until then to test, I went to the doctors 2 days later, had blood and urine tests. I remember we went to watch a movie afterwards and on the way back on the tram I started to cramp quite a bit, I really thought something was wrong at that stage all I knew was that cramping was a bad sign, I just left it til the next day as there was no bleeding and started to read more about it and it was a perfectly normal symptom of pregnancy. I seemed to be cramping every evening for quite a while.

    I think the tiredness then started and as I work from home I can set my own hours and would have to sleep in the afternoon, I was just tired all the time then the sickness came and lasted until around 18 weeks.

    Pregnancy is a confusing thing because the symptoms of an AF are similar, even now I feel like that especially when my AF is due.
     
  7. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Hi Babsi,

    Yes its the symptoms that baffle me.. like today I am having NONE.. just boobs a bit swollen.. and I am panicking again. GET A GRIP I tell myself!!!

    I am going to just focus on Xmas and hope for the best.. In July when I was preg I had lots of niggly cramps up to 6 weeks but this time hardly any at all.. they say each pregnancy can be totally different.. so we'll see... fingers x'd all will be fine.

    Thanks for being here :wink:
     
  8. sasswa

    sasswa Well-Known Member

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    Anna Marie,

    I reckon you'll be fine. I was concerned coz I boobs didn't hurt this time round until about a week ago which was weird.....plus I was really getting NIL symptons till about week 7.......then it hit hard - nausea!!!

    You'll be fine sweet - keep us updated.

    Sass
     
  9. Freya

    Freya Well-Known Member

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    Anna Marie,
    Just wanted to say I am absolutely delighted for you!!!! I had a m/c before I went on to have my beautiful daughter. You will worry at this time. Maybe you could ask for an early scan to put your mind at a bit of rest they sometimes do this for women who have had a m/c. Just remember m/c is very common and just because it has happened to you once there is no reason to think that it will happen again. Enjoy your Christmas and good luck!
     
  10. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Hi Freya, Sass,

    Thanks for your comments.. I really am trying to be positive and relax about it all but pretty tough.

    Freya I have my first scan booked already for 19th Dec.. I will be only 6 weeks then but EPU will monitor me all the way.. they need to see what this bl**dy polyp is doing so I hope that even if we cannot see heartbeat then we will be reassured that little bean is progressing and there is nothing else to worry about in there!!

    As this was my 3rd m/c in total I don't think I will ever relax about pregnancy until the little bean is born well and happy!!! Its very encouraging to hear success stories.. thanks for reassuring me!

    Babsi.. still no symptoms except the hormonal evil witch routine!! Last time I was not nauseas at all and in hindsight that maybe a bad sign so I guess I would like to be VERY sick so I can at least feel pregnant!! Having said that it would be OK if it all started at week 7 as I will be off for Xmas then!!!!!

    xx
     
  11. babsi

    babsi Well-Known Member

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    Hi Anna Marie, I think the sickness started for me around week 8, I can't remember to be sure, but I always found it reassuring that when I was sick everything was ok. The tiredness for me started very soon after I found out I was pregnant. I forgot about the discharge as well :( which I still have now. :(

    One thing I would have liked was an early scan just to confirm things were ok, no such luck here in Canada it is 12 weeks and that is it and that is if you want to test for Down's syndrome. But my hormone levels were rising so things were ok in that regard. At least you have an early scan, and see how things are, and it also seems more real at that point as well. Good luck!
     
  12. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Hey Babsi...

    good to know that sickness can be delayed .. they say that if you are very sick early on it may be a girl.. and if a boy sickness starts later... ho hum... Kai... is that a boy? Here it is a boy's name.. in fact my neighbour's son is called Kai and hes fab.. 7 years old and a little charmer.

    No symptoms today at all.. a bit worried as temp down this am too.. still above coverline on chart but lower than recent few days and my boobs feel almost normal. Been having a few niggles lower abdomen - bit like stretching / pulling not AF type - just have to hope for best eh?

    Yes cannot wait for my first scan..would be great if could see heartbeat already but have to be realistic that maybe not yet... just got to get through this week first... each day is a bonus!!

    Have a lovely weekend xx

    ps where abouts in Canada are you? My OH loves Canada.. hes a mountain biker, snowboarder etc so loves the Canadian outdoors!!! I have never been :cry:
     
  13. babsi

    babsi Well-Known Member

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    Hi Anna Marie, there are so many old wives tales that I don't believe! Especially the heartbeat one, if the heartbeat is fast then they say it is girl. Most of the time when I have the heartbeat checked it is around 150 which is quite fast, before I found out the sex I did think it was a girl because of this, but I had 2 scans by 2 different people in 2 different places and both said they saw a little thing lol I had so many problems finding a name I liked and finally it cliked a few weeks ago, it is Kai Xavier not Paris now, I need to change my signature lol Actually from beginning of next year here in Ontario it is law next year not to tell you the sex :(

    One symptom I never had at the beginning was sore breasts, I did find it a little strange. I think for some people the symptoms take a little while to kick in.

    I'm in Toronto, I moved here nearly 5 years ago and this winter has been bad so far, lots of snow and ice and I am terrified of falling over. I was so careful yesterday when I was out walking like a snail and then I nearly fell while decorating the nursery :( but everything is ok, my leg just hurt for a while. I do think though that you are the only person in the world able to protect this little baby and sometimes that does scare me.

    I hope you have a good day today!
     
  14. Little Miss Joslyn

    Little Miss Joslyn Well-Known Member

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    Hi ya, I havent been on forum lately but go on now and again to check whos pregnant. I was so so pleased to hear you are pregnant anna marie. Try not to worry and relax. i had a miscarrige in april and had seven internals in a week and a terrible time which has now put me off sex so trying to relax is impossible. it still haunts me but i am hoping that i will fall soon as a baby is all i want for christmas. Its upsetting to think that i could have been a mum and it would have been his or her first christmas. I have started to play the harp and im learning to drive to try to focus on something else and chill out. I just hope i will be playing music to my baby when i fall pregnant.
    baby dust to you all,
    Nichola xx
     
  15. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Babsi.. Kai Xavier is lovely... I know a few Xaviers.. one is french and the others are spanish.. great names!!

    Yes I bet it can be a bit perilous in the snow and ice but they say that the little things are so well protected inside us that we should be able to cope with the odd fall.. gosh we hear of women having car crashes and still giving birth to healthy babies.. there is an amazing story here in the UK this year of a pregnant woman who was stabbed in the neck and left to die.. she is paralyzed but managed to have a lovely healthy baby.. that is so inspiring!!

    Symptoms are a quandry to me.. I want to have them but as I don't really know what I should expect as last time I had none too.. that of course scares me.
    Today I am having quite alot of left side ovarian area pain.. think it is from the cyst that the egg ovulated from as I know it was that side... hope it is a good sort of pain.. havent had many AF type cramps or niggles.. just the odd pull / stretch sensation. Boobs not sore again today but temp still up so just have to wait and take each day as it comes.. bloody torture!!!!

    Nichola.. HELLOOOOO!! so lovely to hear from you.. how are you?? I am so sorry to hear about your nasty internals experiences.. why so many? I only had one after my m/c but a few scans and then recently a hysteroscopy and colposcopy so yes I know how all these things can put you off sex etc... just hang in there.. you will be fine and your body will let you know when you are ready again.

    Its great that you are now doing things that make you happy, the harp sounds lovely... give yourself more time to adjust.. it has not been that long, I still recall my m/c so vividly it really horrifies me to think I may go through it again soon.. very scary indeed. Some days I cry myself to sleep worrying about it and yesterday I told my OH I am not ready to be pregnant again but of course I just want the next 8 months to fly by.

    Take care Nichola and keep in touch.. hugs xxxx
     
  16. Little Miss Joslyn

    Little Miss Joslyn Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Anna marie, i just need to be patient and my time will come when my body is ready. You will be fine and I know it must be hard but try not to think about it. Your pregnancy will fly by and before you know it , you will be holding your little bundle of joy in your arms.
    Take care sweetie,
    Luv Nichola xx
     

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