Yesterday I found out that my little bean, 13+1 weeks, has an extreme form of hypoplastic left heart syndrome. Unfortunately, surgery is not an option because Bean has only developed one heart chamber, and the consultant has informed us that this is not something that will get better. Bean cannot survive outside of my womb, and is alive only because I am keeping it alive. It's something that we never thought would happen. We have been advised that there is no point in continuing the pregnancy.
This was due to be our first baby. Although we are being quite pragmatic about it, and know that it's for the best, my heart has broken.
The rest of the baby is perfectly formed - Bean is even a little big, and on the first scan the due date was moved by two days to reflect this. I cannot help but grieve for the little human that I saw rolling around on the screen, even though I have never and will never meet them.
Has anybody experienced anything similar? How soon until it stops hurting?
This was due to be our first baby. Although we are being quite pragmatic about it, and know that it's for the best, my heart has broken.
The rest of the baby is perfectly formed - Bean is even a little big, and on the first scan the due date was moved by two days to reflect this. I cannot help but grieve for the little human that I saw rolling around on the screen, even though I have never and will never meet them.
Has anybody experienced anything similar? How soon until it stops hurting?