Becoming homeless

[Nuala]

I will keep trying. I just can't understand why he so desperately trying to kick me out, as I asked other tenants and they had no idea about any of this. All I want is normal safe home where I can settle in and bring my baby, and all I got is loads of stress with landlords here who keep trying to find a way to kick me out as soon as possible, but refuse to go to the court. I asked them for letter with everything they told me to show the council as proof, I will go on Monday.
I am just hoping this all can be solved soon.

 

[exohx123]

I feel like punching your landlord haha, he's really not a nice guy, he must not have any feelings and shouldn't he replace the doors as that could risk everyone's life that's living there and then he'd be in trouble silly he is, I hope you sort it out soon hun it's awful to see you going through this pregnancy is such a happy time you shouldn't be stressed and upset you should be enjoying this time and not stressed xxxx

 

[Nuala]

Thank you xxx Well have to keep fighting, there is always hope. I do believe it's always darkest just before the dawn, so not giving up. Just annoying man, can't believe he can go to church and say whatever he says as priest/minister and then go home and throw out people like that. And his English is so bad he barely understands me, it makes our conversation so pointless.

 

[queenriccy]

Have you managed to get things sorted now ??

x

 

[exohx123]

second what queenriccy said..

hope your sorted now xx

 

[Nuala]

I wish! I had to go again there, apparently lady who saw me on 15th of July didn't send the form at all! She put it as it was on 22nd of July and never bothered to finish my application. I went there this Monday and man I saw promised someone will call me from Housing advice, but so far nothing. I just feel like I have to go there everyday or something. They not bothered at all

 

[Nuala]

Can't believe what is happening. All this time I was desperately looking for a property. A week ago I found a flat, landlord agreed on housing benefits and I called council. Council was willing to loan me quickly, I was willing to pay all the rest, and suddenly agent tells me landlord is still making a decision! And now he rejected me and put the same flat on a different agency website with higher rent. I can't believe this. I already told my landlords I was moving. I have no time left, baby is due in 26 days. I have to explain this to council and probably move to shelter as my landlord won't let me stay any longer. I just don't understand, how someone can do this. Give hope and then take it back.

 

[exohx123]

Omg that's disgusting that he did that can't believe the council haven't put you on their council list and give you a house ridiculous xx

 

[Nuala]

Council doesn't seem much bothered at all. I just can't believe why would someone do such thing! And council keeps telling me it will take 2 years to wait for their property and until then they will be moving me to different hostels. I just want to have home for my baby

 

[exohx123]

thats ridiculous the council up here put you as priority if you become homeless and the minimum wait is like 1 month, i hope things get sorted i cant believe that its like that, so messed up xx

 

[Nuala]

Thank you x I really appreciate kind words and I wish you from my heart all the best x

 

[mylullaby]

Please, please, please keep pestering the council. This is so heartbreaking. Parents with children should be given priority where social housing is concerned. I hope that they're being like this now because you aren't technically homeless yet, you had a potential solution on the horizon so they were hoping that would be the answer. Unfortunately they now know that isn't the case, so the moment you become unintentionally homeless, you should move straight to the top of the list. Keep writing to them (as well as meeting them) because letters leave a paper trail that can't be ignored/disputed, etc if they're questioned about this at a later date. Choose a day of the week to write your letter - every Monday morning perhaps? Ask for an update and outline your situation each time. Request a response in writing and tell them it's so you can keep copies for your records. Keep on at them. Don't let them sweep you and your baby under the carpet. It's possible to be assertive and persistent without being rude - there's nothing wrong with needing/wanting answers and writing to request those. Is your landlord taking you to court to have you evicted? Don't leave until he does. Tell him you're sorry for the inconvenience, but the council won't help until you've been made unintentionally homeless.

Also, you NEED to get onto the CSA to arrange maintenance payments from your baby's father. He took the risk when he chose to start a relationship with you and whether he likes it or not, he's going to be a father again. Please make sure you do that when the baby arrives.

 

[Nuala]

Thank you x I am trying, now agent is saying landlord is still making a decision and will do by the end of today. It does seem hopeless and when I get final "no" I am going to council again to see the guy who has my case. My current landlord has no money to go to court, so council might make him keep me here longer. The problem is, this is so unsuitable for a baby. Room is too small, moldy and cold. They never put a heating on unless it is extremely cold which I complained to the council already, and winter time it would be awful for a baby to be here.
As soon as baby is born I will contact CSA. As hard as it is, I know I have to do it. I have been through hell all this time and he hasn't even tried to contact me or help.
I just can't understand how am I so unlucky, some friends of my friends have got help so quickly and I seem to be stuck in same place.

 

[mylullaby]

It sounds to me as though your landlord isn't actually fit to be one. It's his responsibility to ensure that the property he's renting out is fit for purpose, and his responsibility to make changes if it isn't. Does he live there too? Can you go back to the CAB and talk about your rights? I know they've said they can't help with the council housing side of things, but they should have information about your rights as a tenant. I've just looked at my local council's Housing Allocations Policy and it says that even an asthma sufferer living with damp would be helped to address the cause of the damp rather than be allocated to Band A - easier said than done with a private landlord who wants you to leave. Ask your council contact what they suggest you do about that!

Get all this down in writing honey and send it to the council bloke handling your case. Tell him you just want to make sure they have all the facts and you're worried you've missed something when you've chatted to him - have a look at their housing allocations policy online and use keywords from their own pages - I've just looked up mine and it lists specific preferences for those with the greatest need:
- customers who are homeless
- customers living in unsatisfactory housing conditions
- customers who need to move on medical/welfare grounds.

Speak to your GP about your concerns about your living conditions - they'll tell you if there's anything you can do (other than move out, which you are obviously trying to do) - and importantly, your concerns will be on record. Talk to them about how your situation is making you feel too. If you're feeling unable to cope - physically, mentally or emotionally - your doctor can advise you about your options there too. I know I'd be struggling in your shoes. This isn't the time for you to suck it up and struggle on alone - reach out to as many people as you possibly can for help. I'm trying not to put words in your mouth, but you sound desperate/like you're at breaking point - and no GP should ever take the phrase "breaking point" lightly.

Thinking of you at this horrible time sweet pea xx

 

[mylullaby]

P.S. Glad you're planning to contact the CSA immediately too - if he's that much of a **** he might dispute that he's the father and things could be delayed with a DNA test, etc. But (I think I'm right in saying this) his payments will be backdated to the day you contacted the CSA - even if it takes a while to sort out - so hopefully that will give you something to hold onto if it doesn't happen immediately.

 

[Nuala]

My landlord lives with me, which as council said, leaves me as a "lodger". He said I have only few rights. I spoke to the agent and now he is saying landlord is still deciding on who is getting that flat (STILL, what a joke) but he got another flat which is available after my due date and is very far. I tried to say but where am I supposed to go now have my baby?? I don't understand, is this some sort of joke to these people, they don't understand it is not a game, I am a human and baby is coming this month. He needs home. I can't call council yet, as what if that landlord changes his mind again if he didn't find any better tenants, it's such a waiting game! If nothing happens, I will call council tomorrow and explain what happened and ask to give me a temporary home as I can't stay here till December. That other flat, that shouldn't be a problem to rent, as agent said, is only available from 1st of December.
Unfortunately, telling my GP, all midwifes and everyone I meet doesn't help. I asked every single person for advice and they all seem to refer to each other as they have no idea what to do. GP is like, speak to midwife, and midwife says, speak to the GP. My breaking point is somewhere, I just feel like no one really cares at all, I know there are lots of pregnant ladies out there, some teenage girls get kicked out of home, but it doesn't mean I can be treated like this. I want this baby, I have a full time job, just because I am not earning loads doesn't mean I am worse than others. I am working hard towards promotion. I am not lazy
Sorry for this all long post, I sometimes got really no one to talk to about this and I really wanted to let it all out.

 

[mylullaby]

I feel for you, I really do. Not sure what else to suggest other than hold onto the hope that you and your baby will get through this

 

[Nuala]

Thank you, I very much appreciate it x It means a lot to me x good people like you give me hope x I always try to believe there is a reason why things are the way they are and that it is coming to something better. I appreciate hearing me out x

 

[mylullaby]

Me too. We don't always have the answers straight away (or ever!) but when I've been through hard times, something has always helped me through - whether it's the hope/belief that things will improve or a flippin' guardian angel or something, I'll never know, but somehow despite some really fucking hard challenges, I always manage to keep going. Please believe that you'll come out the other side of this a stronger person. I wish you the very best of luck, I really do.

Oh, and I'd like to give the father of your child a bloody hard kick in the balls. Coward.

Take care xxx

 

[Nuala]

Yes, I don't know how father of my child sleeps at night. Can't understand it.
Thank you, I wish you all the best of luck too x I hope you have your baby very soon and wish you that from my heart x