Back in our Room

[lisa31]

Thought I would set up a new post / topic as I have a few questions (just for a change!)

We have put Heidi back in our room - I have decided to do this because of what I have read recently about cot death(that it peaks between 2 and 4 months) and about that they regulate their breathing by being near you. But she is also doing something that is really worrying me.

At least once a day she retches really bad. She isnt sick but last night she woke me up doing it - and when I was at a nursery looking round she was on my friends knee (she is the one that runs the nursery) and she did it then, and my friend said it was like she had stopped breathing. So today I have been on the net and it sounds like it could be refulx / possible sleep apnea???. It is strange because the other day when I was holding her I was sure she had stopped breathing but I managed to persuade myself that I had imagined it.

To be honest I just thought the retching was her feeling sick (cos she is sick only occasionly) but the sick not coming out. Now it looks like it might be something a lot worse? Have any of you had any experience of this? I am really worried about it. I am going baby clinic at the end of the week, but wondered if any of you had experienced this.

I would also like to know what you lot do to put you baby to sleep. When I put Heidi in the cot I put her in when she is half asleep (as I heard its a good idea for them to learn to get off to sleep themselves) but she doesnt - she wakes up immediately and starts crying. Should I stand there with her? Ive heard you shouldnt rock them to sleep as they get used to it??!! and should I just let her cry and go back downstairs (some people tell me she isnt old enough to know any better, yet others say I should let her cry) Is this controlled crying????? and if so how do you do controlled crying??

I must sound totally thick but I really dont think we can be doing things right. Take last night for example. After her feed we sometimes put her in her bouncy chair (not all the time though) and she falls asleep straight away in that - the minute I try and put her in her cot she starts crying. It took ages for me to get her to sleep last night - what do all you lot do?? and is it different for afternoon naps??

Last night she slept through which is great but it takes hours and hours to get her to go sleep!??!!!

Please help!!!

L x

 

[Manda]

Cant really help about the wretching although Abi did used to hold her breath a lot when sleeping but has grown out of it.

Abi is pretty good and most nights goes off to sleep on her own in her cot she's even been wide awake and i just put her down kiss her then leave the room, i have a musical thing on her bed which projects pictures on the ceiling sometimes i use it sometimes i dont, if she is having an off night i will lay her in her cot an just stand there going shhh shhh shhh until she goes to sleep, it's a lot better if you can get her to go off on her own as if she wakes in the night and she doesn;t want anything she will go off to sleep on her own without crying. I know people say to let them cry but i don't think i could stand it, even if Abi just sturs in the morning i go and feed her and she normally goes straight back to sleep as she hasn't had time to wake properly, Abi has hardley cried for a feed cos as soon as she stirs i feed her i've only been caught out a handful of times which is great

one of out lecturers at anti natal said it doesn't do any good leving them to cry, he said something about after a few minutes they peak and the crying is too much and they will cry more often and for longer i'll see if i can find the paperwork on it, if you tend to them straight away they'll be carmer more settled babies, i've done this with Abi and she is vey good don't know if it's just coincidence tho.

 

[lisa31]

Thanks Manda

I bet that used to scare you didnt it - abbi holding her breath.

Ive just decided to ring the docs and make appointment otherwise I will be totally stressing about this retching thing and they can see me this afternoon!!!!! which is great - normally you have to wait weeks...my appointment is at 5.10 - will keep posted!

L x

 

[Manda]

Yeah i used to lie in bed and you'd hear her breath then all of a suddeb nothing i'd be lying there saying to myself come on make a noise come on and if she didn't would end up waking her lol.

Good luck later better to be safe than sorry

 

[Lauz_1601]

Hope it goes ok hun and its nothing to bad.

As for bedtime, I give Ella her bottle downstairs and put her pj's on before that. Then I take her up put her in her grobag, she is wide awake when I put her down. I put on her whinnie the pooh dream light show and she just goes off to sleep by herself. If she starts crying or whinging I go up leave the lights of and whisper, I give her her dummy and stoke her face and then she settles and goes off to sleep. Hope this helps x

 

[lisa31]

Hi Lauz

We normally give Heidi a wash (we have tried not doing a bath in case that over stimulates her) then we put on her grobag, give her a feed and then I try to put her into bed around 7.00 / 8.00pm when she is starting to be sleepy.

She has a musical lights mobile which we put on, but its like she just doesnt want to settle at all (yet, if we were downstairs she would be out like a light!!)

I think perhaps I havent got enough patience? I suppose I should stand up their with her and perserve until she learns to go off on her own.

Will keep you all posted on what the doc says about the retching

L x

 

[melhoney]

"Abi is pretty good and most nights goes off to sleep on her own in her cot she's even been wide awake and i just put her down kiss her then leave the room, i have a musical thing on her bed which projects pictures on the ceiling sometimes i use it sometimes i dont, if she is having an off night i will lay her in her cot an just stand there going shhh shhh shhh until she goes to sleep"

Just like Manda, that's whay we do with Maheen. I don't use the mobile which projects lights on for the night, but I am training Maheen to sleep in her cot in the afternoon, and that's what I use then.
At night, she has a musical teddybear, but we don'always use it.
The thing is that we swaddle her, and without that, she won't go to sleep, which is becoming a problem, as she moves more and more during the night, and Saturday morning, I found her with the blanket wrapped on her face!!!!! I still sh** myself when I think about it!!

so I am training her to sleep in a grobag during the afternoon...she does, at the moment! (but mind you, she is not in her cot!!!)

lisa, have you tried a dummy? I know some people are against it (well, we were before! but we had to change our mind!)

Otherwise, when Maheen was revolting against sleeping, we used t put her in her cot, shhhhhh her very loud and softer and softer, and if still crying, we would pick her up just right next to her cot, and slowly put her back in the cot.
Also, well, should I really say that!?...my husband has developped a "telling off" routine with her, and she knows exactly when he is telling her off, and it's too funny to watch she just shut up! with her little lips tight, like she is making effort not to cry. shwe would not do it with me, just with him!!! Lol

Oh I hope your GP can give you some good help and advice!
let us know!
Take care,
Mel xx

 

[Urchin]

Sami will be able to help you with the Apnea.

As far as bedtime, when Brody's all fed and in his grobag, I wait till he rubs his eyes or yawn so I know he's ready, then I take him upstairs and put him in his crib awake. I linger in the room for a minute or 2, but don't say much to him. He might start to cry a little, but I turn the monitor on and go downstairs.

I think the key is to listen to the cry and decide what it is saying. If it's a quiet whinging type cry, leave her be, she is tired and will drift off on her own. If it is a regular sounding cry, leave it a few mins, then go up and reassure her, either by softly talking and rubbing her tummy, or by picking her up (work out which one works best) If she has a total screaming fit, I would go in after 2 mins, pick her up, sit on the bed for a few mins till she settles back down then try it all again.

This is just what I would do...every baby is different so you might find something that works better for you.

Controlled crying works better when they get a little bit older I think, I'm not really ready to let Brody cry ( a proper sounding cry) for longer than 5-10 mins He will whinge and whimper for ages sometimes, but I can tell he's on his way to sleep so it doesn't bother me. I couldn;t let him scream for longer than a couple of minutes though.

 

[hels]

Hey Lisa, Im glad your seeing the GP regarding the apnea, and as Urchin said, Sami is the expert!!
Im just doing what suits Charlie routine wise, and it seems to work. It depends what you want i guess. Charlie has her last feed between 8-10, she then nods off on my boobie. I carry her upstairs and she often wakes up when i put her down, so i put her lullaby cd on give her a kiss and she goes straight to sleep. If she goes down about 8, she then wakes for a dream feed when i go to bed, and sometimes at about 4am, if its 10ish she usually sleeps right through til 7. So her making her own routine works for me so far!
I like Charlotte to have some kind of routine on an evening, but if it doesnt work now and then i dont worry. I think we become a bit obsessed with routine now and then, and think if we go with the flow a little everyone inc baby seems a bit more relaxed! xxxx

 

[Vicky]

Kacy used to retche too and i talked to the health vistor about it and she told me that it was something they do say if they have just got of and breathed in to heavley, or when they have just burt on their own and they have just tryed to swallow, she told me it was nothing to worrie about and she will grow out of it and she did.

 

[lisa31]

Thanks sooo much for your replies girls you are all so helpful. These days I dont bother with the Health Visitor as you are all so much better than her anyway!

The doctor has prescribed Gaviscon Infant - which looks to me like it is for babys who are sick alot, but he did say she has a very gassy tummy (my poor lamb) - he listend to it with his stethescope! - I did tell him she wasnt sick with it (and the lady in the chemist!!!!!) so we will have to see if it stops it. He told me to go back in a week if it hasnt stopped. I dont think it will have but I have to try it I guess.

Will defninately have a word with Sami though - I know she will also give me some good advice.

Your replies have really helped me - and the tips you have given me about putting her down to sleep I'm sure will also help. I was watching this programme on sky earlier about a baby who wouldnt settle in his cot and his mum was advised to put lavender in the room and to try putting in a t-shirt she had worn.

Funnily enough, I put my t-shirt in there whilst she was having a bath and then D/H fed her and put her bed tonight - she took a while to get sleep but she has been up there since 7.45pm, and I can hear her stirring but it is 9.30pm - so not a bad start really!! Ummm wonder if that t-shirt trick has worked!?

Will let you know how the gaviscon works. Mind you have to ring the chemist before I use it, cos it says dont use with formula that has thickening agents in them and we use Omeno Comfort Milk by Cow and Gate and that is thicker than what we started her on - so need to check it is safe At least though now I can keep my eye on her, now she is back in our room.

Thanks again everyone - you are stars!

 

Hi Lisa - just caught up with this thread, bear with me as I will try and help with as much as I can!!

I would also like to know what you lot do to put you baby to sleep. When I put Heidi in the cot I put her in when she is half asleep (as I heard its a good idea for them to learn to get off to sleep themselves) but she doesnt - she wakes up immediately and starts crying. Should I stand there with her? Ive heard you shouldnt rock them to sleep as they get used to it??!! and should I just let her cry and go back downstairs (some people tell me she isnt old enough to know any better, yet others say I should let her cry) Is this controlled crying????? and if so how do you do controlled crying??

I used to leave Damien to sleep on his own, but as he is often grouchy or poorly (at the moment it seems anyway!) I rock/cuddle him to sleep. I don't mind doing it and I'm not bothered if I make a rod for my own back. I like cuddling him to sleep so for me it is not a problem doing it. If you don't feel happy leaving her to cry then don't do it. Go with your own instincts. If you want to cuddle her to sleep and it settles her and makes you happier, then do it, sod what anyone else thinks!! You are mummy and you have to live with her, you know her best

Will let you know how the gaviscon works. Mind you have to ring the chemist before I use it, cos it says dont use with formula that has thickening agents in them and we use Omeno Comfort Milk by Cow and Gate and that is thicker than what we started her on - so need to check it is safe

I did reply to this in another thread, but so you know, you CANNOT use both together. I asked Cow & Gate, HV and Damien's paeditrition.

At least once a day she retches really bad. She isnt sick but last night she woke me up doing it - and when I was at a nursery looking round she was on my friends knee (she is the one that runs the nursery) and she did it then, and my friend said it was like she had stopped breathing. So today I have been on the net and it sounds like it could be refulx / possible sleep apnea???. It is strange because the other day when I was holding her I was sure she had stopped breathing but I managed to persuade myself that I had imagined it.

About Apnoea's it's hard to say if it was an apnoea or not, but the definition of Apnoea's is holding breathe for 10 seconds or more each time. Damien's monitor goes off after 20seconds, as alot of the time babies start to breathe again on their own between 10-15seconds. It is also hard to detrmine EXACTLY if they do have sleep apnoea. Damien's is only confirmed as he has had several bad episodes of longer than 20 seconds resulting in 999 calls. I would keep a record of when she does this and how long for and speak to your HV about it showing her how often she does it. If you are worried about it happening at night I would invest in a sleep mat monitor like Damien's.


If you want to know anymore hun give me a shout and I will be happy to help - I know far to much about all this stuff now!!

Hope Heidi is okie hun. xxx[/url]

 

[lisa31]

Hi Sami - have PM'D you to say thanks. She is so unsettled these days I just dont find the time to get on here (and coming on here really helps me out and makes me feel better) so its a bit of a visious circle.

Your help and advice though is great.

I have decided to stay on comfort milk (well Heidi - not me!!!) and so now I need to get my head straight with it all for when I go back docs - they really need to sort this out.

Thanks again

Hope everything ok with you

L x

 

[Urchin]

Aww sorry to hear she's not settling down.

Just try to remember she is still very young and WILL settle at some point, you're doing great!

 

[Lucy]

Hi Lisa

Hope you're ok after the terrible loss of your Aunty.

Wee Heidi will get there, Olivia is up and down as well so you're not alone hun. We're all here for you.

Lucy x

 

[melhoney]

Hi, Lisa,
so sorry to hear about your auntie! My DH has just lost his uncle yesterday!!! That's hard!

Don't bhesitate to PM me if you want to chat! I am online most of my days! Maheen is suffering from eczema, just been back from the GP so it's official!! That makes her grumpy! It's a real rollercoaster!

Sending you hugs, hun! <<<hugs>>>
Mel xx

 

[lisa31]

Cheers Lucy

The funeral is on Thursday so at least things can start to move on from there. I have to leave Heidi with a friend so of course that is bothering me too (not worried about my friend she is absolutely brilliant and has one of her own) - I think its cos she wants to look after her at her house - and I would prefer her to be at home

Hope your ok

L x

 

[lisa31]

Just seen Urchin and Mel's post. Thanks you Guys.

I should really ring my cousin (she is my age) and we have always hung round a lot - I used to spend a lot of my sumnmer holidays at there house. But I just dont know what to say. I cannot imagine how she is coping the poor thing.

Mel - it seems we are even similar in things of a not so nice nature!?

Thanks for your kind words tho - appreciate it.

L x