Back at work

[Blossom]

Hi Everyone

I barely had the chance to announce that I'm pregnant again (already have an 18mth little poppet) and then I miscarried on wednesday last week. I was about 6 or7 weeks, I had three positive tests on New years day.

Nothing really happened, no pain or drama i just started bleeding, went to see the midwife, packed me off to A and E, who were terrible. They couldnt fit me in for a scan so did a blood test to see if I was 'still pregnant'. the doctors changed shifts while awaiting my results and the new doctor, who hadn;t yet seen me came in smiling to tell me that my tests were 'normal' and wanted me to tell him again what the problem was. By normal, he meant 'no longer pregnant'. he looked a bit shocked and very apologetic when he realised why I was there and then went on to sypathetically tell me that I was having a miscarriage.

Even though we weren't officially 'trying', I was so excited when i found out and went and told eveyone I knew, including people at work. I've come back to work today and cant even think of working and am just sitting with the odd tear rolling down my face. I feel like if anyone speaks to me I'll burst into tears so Im just avoiding eye contact.

I feel like a fraud being so upset when I was so newly pregnant. I know it must be much worse for people who have lost much later on when they have spent much more time bonding.

Does anyone else who had an early miscarriage feel this way? Should I go back home and wallow a bit more, or try and get on with my work and move on. It's so hard.

 

[kayzee]

so sorry to hear your sad news hun I had a misscarriage just over 14 years ago about 6 or 7 weeks and i still think about him or her everyday, Whether your 6 or 16 weeks the sense and feeling of loss is just as great, I had 2 weeks off work when i had mine and i burst into tears everyday at work for ages afterwards, i just wanted to be left alone. I dont think you are in anyway silly for getting upset because your loss was so early hun If your feeling so bad wouldnt your boss let you go home and rest im sure in the circumstances they would be sympathetic. You need time to grieve for your little one love, if you need it take time out and rest at home, My heart goes out to you cos i was exactly the same no-one seemed to understand. Take care and look after yourself loadsa love, kaye.xxxx

 

[Happybunny]

Hi Blossom,

I am so sorry for your loss sweetie. you are not silly at all for feeling so sad. My first baby m/c at 6 weeks too. I was truly heart broken. I felt so silly for getting so excited and I felt embarrassed having to tell our parents that I was no longer pregnant. I felt like a failure. I took a week off of work because, like you, I was tearful.
Sadly, we can not control our deep emptions. It is natural to grieve for a new life you had created and anticipated so dearly. There is never an easy time to m/c. A life is a life, however old.

It helped me to have a piece of special jewellery to remind me of my baby. I am going to find a piece for my newest angel too. It is a tangible memory of the little life I lost.

You will feel better, I promise. It is so sad and all consuming in the early stages, but you will find peace in time.

Grieve as much as you need, you are not silly at all!

Lots of love and hugs
Michelle
xx

 

[Saski1234]

Hi so sorry for your loss.
I m/c on the 14th december at 11 weeks and went back to work last week having been off sick over xmas. I work in an environment where gossip usually flies around the workplace however I am still finding 4 weeks later that people are still asking me how I am and that i'm not getting very big yet!! It does get a little easier I promise but I'm sure you will never forget.