Baby Shower!

[laurat]

Well I have hit a low day today really. Since my mc on the 18th of Feb I was spotting every two weeks till last month. I thought I was hopefully getting back to normal but Im now on cd35 and no sign of af. I tested on Fri and a BFN so think I am now going to go the other way. No blooming bleeding to make up for the every 2 weeks. I am so sick of my body and I am so desperate to be pregnant I hurt inside. I feel like there is someting missing.

To make matters worse on of my best friend is going in to be induced tomorrow and my other best friends wife was thrown a surprise baby shower today for thier impending twins due in July. I had to sit there with all these woman who have either had babies or are about to. I was made to fill in books of advice (like I have any I couldnt keep my bean) and playing games and constant talk of babies. I hate feeling this horrible jealousy it is so overcoming and upsetting. I just feel like such a nasty person but I am struggling to cope. The thought of going to the hospital this week to see my best friends baby is actually making me want to cry. I cant even get away from it at work as there are now pregnant people there!

My oh is just oh it will happen for us. Well I want to know when I want to know why my body seems to be still not sorted after the 3 months the doctors said it would take.

Im sorry I just need to say this as I feel like I am losing it today a bit!

 

[Samsgirl]

oh hon.........just wanted to give you a big hug xxx

 

[laurat]

Thanks Samsgirl. Think I have just had an overload today really. Hope your weekend has gone ok.

I know its just a bad day and I will get over it but it is just rubbish at times when it feels like you are the only one who gets the sad looks of of poor her she has been unlucky. I know that people on here know how it feels and Im glad I can tell my feelings to someone.

Ive decided I am going to go back to the doctors and not take the oh it can take time pants when I finish up for my holidays in 2 weeks.

 

[dita_parlo]

Hi hun I think you're doing right in going to the DR's, even if it's just to feel proactive in trying to get things back to 'normal'.

I just wanted to let you know that what you're feeling is absolutely normal. I feel insanely jealous of everybody I know who is pregnant or have children... Even people on here I feel so happy when they announce their bfp's but also so jealous, and it's such a horrible thing to have to feel. Just wanted you to know you're not alone in feeling this way, I think everybody on this particular part of the forum can relate.

I really hope you get things sorted one way or another, keep us updated on how you are chick

 

[TORino]

Big hugs love xxxxx

It is truly awful to experience a miscarriage and I completely underestimated just how draining it would be emotionally. The jealous thing Is so awful. Can you try and take yourself away from those situations that cause you anxiety? That's what I have been trying to do.

You are very brave for going to the baby shower, I would have made my excuses to that one I think.

I'm sure your time will be just around the corner, hopefully the docs can assist in sorting out your cycle so you can get back to it so to speak.

Xxxx

 

[Nurse 26]

it really sucks when things seem to be going perfect for everyone else. Hope you are ok hun, have you been back to docs about AF?

 

[cosmicgirl]

x

 

[laurat]

Thanks girls! I went back in May when I was spotting every 2 weeks as it was really annoying me. The dr was very unhelpful and just kept saying it can take time to get back to a regular cycle. I asked well how long. He said normally 3 months and at that point it was like 2 and a half so the usual wait till 3. I made him do a swab to check for infection but nothing.

Im on holiday as of the 24th June so ill go back then as Ive now not had an af since 9th May. Its so frustrating as I am desperate to get back to using my cbfm as it works best for me but I cant now till I get one.

Does anyone know what to say to the dr to check? Its just they seem so unwilling and I nerd to point/insist quite a lot of the time!

 

[08Princess]

Hi Laurat,
I'm so sorry for your loss hun.
As the other lovely ladies have said the jealously thing is normal.
I am insanely jealous of anyone with a small baby or who is pg.
You are so brave for going to the baby shower. There is no way I could go. As TORino said I'd make my excuses. I just couldn't be in that situation at all.
Everywhere I look babies, pregnant women, families with kids Its hearbreaking when all I want is one, just one, of my own to hold and love
I am currently off sick due to my mc and dreading going back to work as I colleague and I had swapped notes and had baby chats. Now mine is gone and I feel like I don't even want to look at her How nasty is that?
Then I feel selfish by feeling this way cos I know some of you have been through numerous mc's and my measly one seems like nothing.

With regards to the dr I would explain that your anxiety is making you very low and unhappy and in order to move on you need peace of mind that all is ok with your body. Any woman would feel the same.
I can totally understand you are desperate for your cycle to return so you can try again hun.

I know mc is common but that doesn't mean its easy to deal with and sometimes I think GP's can be a little insensitive.

I am glad you have a holiday to look forward to. Its so important to try and look forward, even if its only a day at a time.

Take care hun and keep us posted.

Massive hugs to you. You're not alone.
x x x

Lost my angel 11.6.11