Attending school with newborn?

[Nodnal]

Hi everybody! My wife and I just found out we're expecting our first child!

Here's the low-down: Our original plan was for my wife to complete her Nursing degree while I work full-time and pay for her schooling (she's currently in year 3 of 4), then she would proceed to work for a year so she would qualify for maternity leave, and then we would try for a pregnancy while I pursue my degree. This recent news has been very unexpected and is a few year ahead of schedule, but I'm sure we will be just fine!

Her due date is June 12, so as it stands right now, she should hopefully be able to complete her third year just in time. It's her fourth year that has me concerned. She told me that she has already made the decision to wait an extra year before she enrolls for her fourth year - which makes me nervous that she's underestimating herself when she may be fully capable of managing both the newborn and her final year of school.

I will be taking paternity leave from late August to early April which would line up perfectly with her final year of school. I'm trying to reassure her that I will take care of everything (cooking, cleaning, home maintenance, waking up to change diapers, etc. And even bringing the baby to her for breastfeeding on days she can't come home for a lunch break, But she has no intentions of juggling the two. I completely understand that she does not want to spend the first year of the child's life studying and stressing about school, but I feel like the second option (paragraph below) would be worse in the long run.

Let's say she waits to take her final year of school: I will either have to spend the first year of the child's life continuing to work out of town 4 days a week and be in a post-night shift zombie haze for most of my time at home. Or, I will take that year of parental leave anyway, and my wife and I will both be at home full-time with the baby for the first year - which would be great!.. But then after that first year is done I will need to return to that same out of town job and she will be in school full-time which will mean that we'll need to hire a babysitter most days because she'll be at school and I will be away.

I'm just curious if I'm being selfish by asking her to reconsider the options. Has anyone been in a similar or more challenging situation in regards to juggling both school and a newborn? I personally feel like we should take full advantage of my time at home so that she can get her school out of the way and we could make it easier on ourselves in the years ahead, but she seems to think otherwise.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to read and/or reply to this!

 

[russellmuscle]

I have never been in the schooling situation. However I feel that maybe you are underestimating how much a child changes your life. Emotionally.

When you become a parent, especially a mother you have a bond with your baby so strong that it's quite difficult for alot of mums to leave their baby. Ofcourse some mums require to go back to work alot earlier than intended however in my experience that has always been very difficult for the mother to do that.

I think when you have a child there is only so much you can have in place and the rest is a very much wait and see. This includes returning to work or school in your wife's case.

I also know from my own personal experience that when I had my youngest son, he was a total different ball game to my eldest as a baby and so I spent alot of time with a crying baby and quite often, my eyes hanging out my head barely able to make sense of things so I know fine well I wouldn't be in the best position to be studying.

I appreciate you will be at home and willing to be very involved which is brilliant but I think there is only so much of that you can support with.

I think it's a reasonable suggestion for your wife to make tbf. I perhaps maybe would say the same. I understand where you are coming from but sometimes when it comes to a child a more relaxed approach to studying and career is best for some. I took longer off with my second and it was most definitely still just as difficult to return to work and now I have more on my plate but I don't mind, I'm happy.

Things don't always go to plan, embrace it.

xxxx

 

[KHTW]

I agree with the above, a new baby (especially 1st one) changes everything. But that doesn't mean your wife can't at least try to finish her degree. If she enrolls and can't manage then she stops and tries again another year? That would be possible, right?

Congratulations and good luck