Are we too old??

[Beth1983]

Hello!

My husband and i have been trying since March (sorry, I know some have probably been trying a lot longer) and not even a hint of a sign of BFP yet?

I am 34 and he is 46, we both have a child each from previous relationships (aged 19 & 13).... we've been married for 8 years and together for 11. We feel that we would love to have a child together. We both recall conceiving with ease the first time round (albeit was with different people and we were a lot younger).

I have not taken the pill for 19 months and my periods are regular (about 32 days). I am currently only tracking ovulation by calendar and monitoring my CM.

My massive worry at the minute is that we are too old!! each month, the disappointment I feel when AF arrives is overwhelming me

I'm sorry, I do appreciate how lucky we are to have two beautiful healthy children - and my hardship and problems are small compared to what others have to go through - but when your heart is set on something and each month you feel the possibility slip further and further away from you, it's very difficult!

My waffle was really to ask peoples opinions on the age thing? Do you think we've left it too late??

Beth x

 

[Alexis2017]

I'm 33 and trying for my 1st baby since January so wouldn't say your
were too old. Good luck!

 

[_GG_]

No, you're not. I'm 38...had an early mc / chemical last cycle and have fallen pregnant again straight away...before having another period so now praying it sticks as I'm only 12dpo.

If you are concerned, book in with your gp for a general fertility health check.

And, if it helps, my midwife said she didn't consider me too old at 38!!

Best of luck to you xxx

 

[Sunflower1]

I'm 41 and trying for our first. No I wouldn't say you are too old at all. Tracking ovulation by calender is not very accurate at all as each woman is different. Cm is probably more accurate but as long as you keep dtd when it stops too. 4 months is not long when TTC either. You could always get your husband's sperm checked if you are worried about his age.

I know it's disappointing when AF comes but maybe view the whole process as a long term venture and if poss try to lower your monthly expectations. It takes 6 months on average for a couple to conceive and some it takes 2 years.

 

[KHTW]

Sending hugs. Don't give up, 4 months is not long at all and neither of you should be considered too old.

Maybe try ovulation sticks to try and pinpoint the exact time you ovulate?

Wishing you luck x

 

[mylullaby]

Nope, not too old. I think it can actually be even harder for couples who conceived quickly first time round. People I know who took a while with their second babies just couldn't understand why it wasn't happening as easily. If you think about it statistically, they say on average it takes a year. So while you might have conceived straight away first time, there will be some who took 3+ years. That's how averages work. I think it's just a case of accepting that you'll probably fall somewhere in between. Monitoring CM and using a calendar/cycle app were the best ways for me. I just got too wound up with OPKs and temping and all that malarkey- but everyone's different. Best of luck ttc and to summarise, no I don't think you've left it too late. xx

 

[Beth1983]

Thank you so much for all your responses! Feeling a little bit better about the age thing, perhaps i'm just impatient. I'm finding it's all i can think about at the minute - that can't be good can it!?

I'm thinking about maybe trying the Ovulation sticks, but not sure which are best? An expensive one, or cheap bulk buy off the internet? Any recommendations?

 

[_GG_]

I'd say start with cheapies off the internet as we oldies can ovulate more than once a month so they will help you to get an idea of your patterns and then, if you want, you can back them up using better ones for a few days. Xx

 

[Beth1983]

Thanks GG - do you test everyday??

 

[_GG_]

Thanks GG - do you test everyday??

I only started casually trying in June. Fell pregnant first cycle but lost it. Ovulated on cd9 and fell pregnant again this month...think I'm now losing this one too but have a scan Thursday to figure it out.

I would start by testing every day and getting an ovulation app. I don't think I'll ever want to temp chart but I do keep track of my cm.

At least this way you'll learn about your body and give yourself a better chance.

Fx for you xxx

 

[Sunflower1]

Oh, GG. Sorry to hear you think you are losing it. Good luck with the scan xx