Anyone NOT planning to breastfeed?

[katie05]

Hi girls, just wondering if anyone has decided not to breastfeed and what are you reasons? Im not 100% but pretty sure i wont be breastfeeding. I tried with my son (well for 2 days) and found it quite distressing-not latchiing on etc. I happily bottlefed him and he's a bouncing healthy 2 year old now . Trouble is i do feel a little bad that i just intend to go straight to bottle feeding with this one. A part of me thinks try again but then (at the moment) a bigger part thinks go with what worked well last time.

What are your reasons and how do you feel about it?x

 

[Sydneysmum]

Whilst breastfeeding has many benefits I'm sure you'll agree there's more to being a good parent than just breastfeeding. I fed my son until he was 9 months old but if I ignored his cries for help when he couldn't do his maths homework earlier or didn't feed him or didn't kiss him when he went to bed, what kind of mum would I be?

A happy Mum is a good mum and if bottle feeding makes you relaxed and able to cope with other aspects of you baby's care then I agree with you. Personally, I loved breastfeeding as it worked for me but if it doesn't work this time then I won't beat myself up over it - I need to be happy and balanced for my baby and after having had a cesarean I'll have other things to worry about!

There seems to be quite a lot of hysteria about breastfeeding - it's quite an emotive subject. It should be encouraged but mothers who bottle feed shouldn't be made to feel bad. Go with your heart

 

[Tatum29]

I won't be breastfeeding my baby, I'm going straight for bottles.

I bottlefed my son and he's almost 6 years old and very healthy and happy!

After my son was born I did attempt to breastfeed initially, but it wasn't particularly easy so I switched to the bottle.

I'm not even going to attempt breastfeeding this time and I'm more than happy with that decision. Bottlefeeding was fine with my son, so I have no concerns about it this time and niether does my hubby.

 

[Minime]

I felt under so much pressure to BF Eefie that I went along with it. I hadnt slept for days before I had him, was exhausted by the birth then being woke up to BF. The staff on the wards were a tad unhelpful to say the least when I couldnt get him latched on. All the other mums were bottle feeding and left their babies at the midwife station overnight so there was just eefie on my ward. Then at home I found it completely traumatic to have every midwife under the sun poking and prodding my boobs. I cannot abide being touched by strangers, I never had the same MW twice so I really wasnt happy about it. I ended up with a womb infection and the medication was affecting eefie so I stopped (by which time he was on mixed feeds anyway)

With this one I intend to do mixed feeds for a couple of weeks but thats her lot then she'll go onto the bottle. I simply wont have time to breastfeed with Mr Horrorbag in tow anyway!

 

[abcd1234]

I intend to try and breastfeed, for all the reasons i'm sure everyone is already aware of, plus the fact it's free and to me feels like the "natural" thing, i understand its not for everyone but i do feel that just because one child wouldnt latch on doesnt mean another wont. My mum breast feed me no problem, my brother was too hungry and she bottle fed him after a while and my sister wouldnt latch on at all, i certainly dont think badly of my mum for it so i wouldnt think that of you. Unless you have an issue with the idea of breast feeding then i think you should at least try it, and i have written in my brith plan that i will not be pushed in to breastfeeding, i want to be left to do it in my own time so i'm sure you could make it clear you arnt too keen and want to be left to make your own choice as i'd guess being pushed doesnt help much

 

[miffy]

I tried to BF with my first, but was a struggle - managed 2 weeks exclusively BF, then 2 weeks expressed milk, then switched to formula. I had been pressured into sticking to it, but it was so distressing as baby wouldn't latch on properly altho I had loads of milk. My nipples were raw within days, I had mastitis and was on antibiotics, and worst of all, I just dreaded my baby waking up for a feed. Switched to formula and life became so much easier and I loved being a mum again!
I will try again this time around, but won't kill myself over it or feel guilty. I will probably try a bit of both - maybe give formula for the last feed of the day to give myself a break (and DH can do that one while I sleep!). First time around I had it programmed in my head (by various antenatal classes) that you either do all BF or all formula. I know several mums who have done mixed feeding with great success.
Also worth noting, my sister-in-law had a tough time BF her first 2 babies and switched to formula early on. However, with her 3rd baby, BF just clicked and worked brilliantly... goes to show every baby is different and if it didn't work the first time around, there's no reason why it shouldn't work next time.

 

[Strangeness]

I'm undecided with this baby. I fed my son for 3 days before he was screaming for feeds because he was starving. I wasn't giving him what he wanted after the first few days and I never had any milk come in so was lucky I swapped or he would have lost serious amounts of weight. I was so upset and distressed by not being able to feed my baby that I don't know if I want to go through it all again but I think that will all depend on the birth and how I feel after. I had a pretty rough time with Aaron and have been told that would have played a big part in why my milk never came in. I also have huge boobs so don't find it very easy to feed, I had the most silly positions to feed Aaron I'm glad I gave him those first few days and I hope it will be the same with the next one and maybe go on longer but I'm not gonna beat myself up about it if I can't. I have bought bottles ready for this baby if we need them but I'm open as to how it will go!

 

[Rosie1]

At the moment i am planning to breastfeed, as this being my fisrt baby i thought i should at least give it a go, but who knows, it may not work out for me.

If you are more comfortable with the bottle, i wouldn't feel guilty, but have you given any thought to expressing your milk? You then have the benefit of the nutrients from breast milk without the problems of latching etc. May be worth thinking about.

Even though i am planning to breastfeed i have already bought a pump, bottles and steriliser just in case i can't get on with it, as i can then try to continue giving baby breast milk for a least a few months. Also, i thought it would be nice for other members of my family to be able to share the feeding.

 

[muppetmummy]

i breastfed james for a week before switching to formula. he was ill and had to go back to hospital. i think having an ill baby and being stressed affected my milk supply because he never seemed satisfied and was also having problems latchiing. i was advised to give him fomula by the nurses in scbu (looking back i think they suggested this because it made their job easier). i cried when i gave him the bottle, i missed the closeness. saying that though he thrived on formula and loved his bottle.

early in my pregnancy with logan i was adement i would bottle feed this time and told the midwife so. i didnt have any confidense in my body. over the course of my pregnancy i started to change my mind and decided to give it a go. i was so convinced id fail and would be bottle feeding within days i spent £100 on bottle feeding equipment

im so glad i did give the breastfeeding a go, its been much easier this time and im loving breastfeeding. logan is a bigger healthier baby so can latch easily and has a suck like a hoover

dont be put off if you've had a bad experience before, all babies are different. if you do decide to bottle feed though dont feel bad, its not a big deal. james has always been very healthy after his shaky start and is hardly ever ill, formula has done him no harm

 

[mandspice]

I'm unsure - the stories above touch a nerve with me - I like to plan ahead and imagine situations and I can just see myself getting stressed and tired which is not good for baby. But at the same time I don't believe you can plan a lot of things which come along with baby, esp if it's your first.....I'm going to give it a go but have steriliser and bottles all ready at home xx

 

[DebbieM]

I never wanted to BF prior to gettign pregnant. Then at my booking in appointment, the MW didn't bother to ASK me if I planned on BF'ing, she TOLD me I would be! I was annoyed to say the least and felt pressurised from day one.

As pregnancy progressed I decided that it was something I wanted to give a go but that if it dodn't work out that I wouldn't feel like a failure etc and bought bottles, steriliser and everything else you need for bottle feeding.

At the hospital, it was hard. Luke was a bit of a nuisance and wouldn't latch on and didn't seem interested. I kind of lied a little that things were better so we could get home as I felt under too much pressure in there.

Once home, the first couple of days seemed to go well. Then it all went bad. I hated every second of BF'ing him. It hurt and was very stressful.

8 weeks on (It was horrible until week 5), I love it and I am glad I tried and I don't want to giveup until at least 6 months.

I think it's always worth it to try. It's a MASSIVE battle and probably one of the hardest things I have ever done but it's so rewarding.

If you do choose bottles though, it doesn't mean you're a bad Mum or anything else. Babies need more than milk!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I think this is a tough one. My first instinct was I CAN'T DO IT.
But now i think I CAN AND I BLOODY WELL WILL (lol).
I think there is nothing wrong with bottle feeding whatsoever, and that it is the right choice for some people.

But I am going to put everything i've got into making BF-ing work, and if it doesn't after trying everything then i would go for bottle.

I'd say it wouldn't hurt to try breastfeeding if you want to - you've got nothing to lose from it! Then you can always switch if you have probs. xxx

 

[Squiglet]

you have to be pretty determined if you want to breastfeed...It has to be something you want...I didn't have forums, or bfing MW/HV or classes to go to when I had Tia... I was told breast was best and left to it... I succeeded because I was determined (and was told you loose LOADS of weight doing it ) Selfish I know but it kept me going)...and the times it got hard and I had no where to turn and no one to give me advice, I did fall back on formula But when I stopped I really missed the closeness I got with her and when I started with lil miss I realised how much I missed my special cuddles that only I could give

Like everything in life (especially with kids ) its never easy to start with.... its a skill you and your LO has to learn. There are always complications and in some cases its not possible...which is why we are lucky enough to have formula, which is near to breast milk as any formula has ever been, to fall back on.

It is hard, it is tiring, theres a baby permanently attached to your boob for the first few weeks and it is painful at times... but you can't sit on your bum all day having LO cuddles while burning off 500 calories if you bottle feed...

What you decide to feed your baby is your decision, its your baby . But even a few days of colostrum give enormous immunological benefits that can't be gained from formula yet which is why it should be at least given a go, before ultimately switching to formula... think of it like a vaccination and us women can put up with the pain of pregnancy and childbirth so boob pain for a couple of days is a sinch ... we are as tough as nails.. but the rule always is... Happy mummy = happy baby So always remember that

 

[Sherlock]

I always hoped to breastfeed but kept an open mind incase LO did not take to it or I did not cope. But saying that I didn't buy any bottles, steriliser etc at all as I didn't want the fall back option unless it really went pear shaped. Also my MW has visited almost daily since Galen was born and always arrives when he wants a feed so watches, gives me tips and helps latch him etc if not going so well. Its been great to have her here for that hour or so each day helping and getting me through it.

I guess so far I've been pretty lucky as Galen was born Saturday morning and within 20 or so minutes was on my breast feeding well. He has gotten more demanding as my milk has started to come in, one night feed wnet on over 3 hours and drained both boobs as my milk was not fully in but he was wanting it I was shattered from it, but stuck with it and kept feeding.

Glad I did, as now I am past that, milk it through and he feeds more quickly and really latches well. Sometimes we get it wrong and I have to prise him off my nipple and re try but not too often. I adore the feeling of holding him close to me and seeing his little face and watching him root for my breast. Fills me with awe.

So long as all continues well with BF'ing I shall go till at least 6 months solely on breastmilk.

And ditto what others have said about bottlefeeding. Each to their own and no mother is a failure for going over to bottle. Its not always easy and I can understand why some Mums do opt for bottle from the off, especially if they tried breastfeeding before and found it difficult for whatever reason.

 

[katie05]

Thank you for your replies, was really interesting to hear your different stories. They have made me want to try more in a way as most of you found it difficult at first.

 

[KJ]

Absolutely agree 100% with Midna.

It's going to be difficult to start with, there's no question about that. You just have to be mega determined and thick skinned.

I wasn't happy for quite a while. I dreaded feeds, I cried though them, etc, etc. But I was determind that I was going to breastfeed. 8 months down the line I'm still going and I've got it down now! If I'd given up early on I'd never have known what I was capable of.

I know it must seem that mums who successfully breastfeed go on and on about it, but that's because we're so proud of ourselves. It's a huge achievement and I think everyone should get the chance to feel that, so give it a go, you might surprise yourself!

K.xx