anyone getting pisses of with the mother in law??

[saze]

i sure am! me and OH have just got a council house as we cannot afford anything els at the moment and are lucky to get this one in such a short space of time. His mum rings up and says "You are not living there you will have a meeting with me and Gary (OH's dad) at 6pm and we will discuss your options" well my head just went! Then finally after been persuaded to go by OH we got there and she said i am not going to be that far away from my grandchild (20mins drive away) you will come and live with me! I could not believe what i was hearing. She has now found us a little rent house around the corner from her .

 

[Squeakz]

Wow. Can you not tell her where to go - in a polite way??????? What does OH say? Hugs hun! My rentals do my nine and phils nut in x

 

[Monkey]

Sorry to hear that you are having troubles with her, I hope for your sanity she will back off a bit and let you do as you want. Have you tried talking to your OH and explaining how it makes you feel and trying to get him to talk to her and asking her to back off?

If you feel uncomfortable with the thought of living so close to her don't take the house, it is your choice in the end. If you did take it and it turned out bad, just imagine how stressful your relationship with her would be in the long run.

I live right beside my Mother In Law and it feels like we sometimes live under each others feet. Most times it is ok and we get along, but there has to be that line that needs to be drawn so you both know where you stand.

 

[Lilmoomin]

Wow hun, I really feel for you! Hope you get it sorted! I am so lucky in ways, my hubbys mum is an alcoholic and they fell out years ago! But before they fell out, it was a nightmare! She hated me & I hated her, but at least I was nice to her! She wasn't to me!! Good luck

 

[i.love]

omg! that's awful. What does you OH think of that?

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

well, my MiL is a law unto herself lol (but thats another thread )

This woman seems to not quite grasp the concept of boundaries, it should be up to YOU where you live, if your OH suggests 'oh well it would make sense for us to be round the corner' then remind him that if he had thought that way before she got involved, you would have househunted in that area!

A council house is the closest thing to your own place that you can get without buying, so if your kiddlett trashes the carpets or damages a door, its not a bother. In a private rental you cant even paint a room the colour you want it, you have to leave it smeggy magnolia and if the landlord decides they dont want you anymore they can kick you out in a few months time!

Talk to your OH and explain the benefits of having a council house over rented (money being a massive one) and that if you ever get evicted from a private let, and you have left a council house to move into it, its going to be difficult to get back on the council scheme. It just doesnt make any sense!

my mum lives in Australia so is way way more than 20mins away, it would be great to have her nearer but i dont think i would want her just round the corner, its nice to have a bit of notice if someone is coming over (and thats MY mum let alone Liams lol)

I just worry that if you go for it and move, not only will it put you financially in a worse position, you will basically be swapping a long-term, secure living situation for one that is not secure at all AND your MiL will feel she can just barge in on you all day every day when she feels like it.

stand your ground hun, hope it goes okay and your OH will listen to you x

 

[angelmma]

OMG, I could not cope with someone trying to ditate my life like that!! Where I live council houses are like gold dust, and youd be waiting 2 years for one in a popular area. Here, people dont really like private rentals as they are seen as dead money, cause at least with council houses you can buy them after a certain period of time, and you also earn a discount. You can basically do what you like to a council house but as BigBump said you cant even paint a room in a rental property. Also you go into private and you get kicked out then the council can choose to 'freeze you out' (means they wont give you another house) for upto 2 years. Youve got to do what you feel would be best for you, OH & LO. As if your in-law is already trying to tell you what to do, can you picture what she'll be like when the baby comes and she can call over very easily. Best of luck xxx

 

[saze]

thank you for all your comments ladies, she picked us out a little rent house but not a chance would i take it! OH is on my side with it all. Now she wants to come over and help decorate (Council house), but she doesn't like the way i want it as such. She phoned my OH and said we will all go over at the weekend to decorate but Sara (me) will stay at home as there is nothing she can do! Ive had enough cant stand the women, really don't no what it will be like when baby get's here im not going to want her touching my baby she will try and control everything! Did i mention she is a 60 year old school teacher. x

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

Hahahah she HONESTLY thinks shes going to decorate your house!!! Tell her that while shes decorating your house, you will be decorating hers - in putrid pink with lime green finishings.

Does she not remember having a house for the first time with her husband? How it felt to be able to pick out your own paint, put your stuff up on the wall, look for years for the perfect picture to put 'there' and then find it?

Why she is trying to take that away from her own son is just awful! Sounds like she needs to let go and realise that you are the top priority in his life and she needs to back off!!