anyone feel like this?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by bidsy, Jan 23, 2012.

  1. bidsy

    bidsy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2010
    Messages:
    875
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm not sure what to do as I just dont want to have sex! I cant get turned on I just want to go to bed to sleep. I dread bed time cause I know my DH will want to and i'll have to put him off by saying i'm tired.

    My little boy is just turned 1, Ive read its common after having a baby but after a year I thought it would return. I know i'm upsetting my DH and he is feeling as though its him although I do reasure him but without a proper reason other than I dont know whats wrong with me.

    Does anyone else feel like me, can doctors help do you think?
     
  2. cosmicgirl

    cosmicgirl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2010
    Messages:
    16,519
    Likes Received:
    0
    I feel exactly like you, have done for about 3 years now. Luckily my oh has a low sex dry too so it's not too bad (I know that doesn't solve the problem)
    I suffer from vulvodynia which I'm sure has something to do with my problem, I also dry up as I find it difficult to stay aroused.
    I think it's quite common after babies hun x
     
  3. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2011
    Messages:
    5,422
    Likes Received:
    0
    I feel like this a lot at the minute and I know it's going to happen because it's only 11 days since Sophie was born but I feel like it will never come back and I know already that it will cause problems with me and the OH.
     
  4. Constantstar

    Constantstar Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    4,658
    Likes Received:
    0
    Me too. Just don't want it. I'm not motivated and just not fussed! Which is causing arguments! :/
     
  5. jld123

    jld123 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2010
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    0
    i felt like this with my OH i found that i thought of every excuse not to have sex. we broke up recently and i feel my sex drive has come right back. I havent slept with anyone since, nor have i slept with him since the break up but personally i feel that it was becuase i wasnt sexually attracted to him anymore x
     
  6. whibs

    whibs Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2012
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    the issue is you have to put the effort in, its a catch 22, you can't be bothered so putting the effort in seems like a chore and a duty adn if you don't not only do you feel guilty but the OH makes you feel even worse.

    After my baby was 8 months i decide to buy some toys and surprise him, OK it is still a bit difficult to get going but the drive is there i just needed to work on it.

    Chin up:)
     
  7. Daisy2011

    Daisy2011 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2011
    Messages:
    2,295
    Likes Received:
    0
    Half the battle is feeling that pressure becuase it makes you shy away from cuddles and holding hands and little kisses becuase you dont want to make him think its a green light. But if the pressure was off you might come around to it anyway.

    Its hard but id say try to tell him how you are feeling becuase im sure that he will be feeling rejected and a bit resentful and hurt. Dont know if it will help but I made a sex ban with my last oh where it was off the table but small things were okay and the ban came of at fertile week- bc thats horny week. You can try lubes and toys that might make the intimacy grow a bit without feeling that you have to police every action just incase hes going to pounce and force you to say no.
    But i also used to say that foreplay included doing the washing up/making tea/etc becuase that made me feel that he cared about me and respected us.

    Its your body and you shouldnt do anything you dont want to do, but definately talk to him about it.

    Good luck
    x Daisy
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice