Anyone else feel very lonely ??

[Naterjack]

Hiya
Does anyone else feel lonely during their pregnancy ?

This will be my first and they say pregnancy is the best time of your life. Ive had nothing but colds and horrendous morning sickness so not enjoying it much (apart from the scans, doppler checks and movement i can now feel)

My 2 close friends are about 20 - 25 years older than me and have had children. One lives in the next village and the other about 25 miles away but we used to spend loads of girly time together.

One of them told me i was stupid for TTC and then tutted and rolled her eyes when i told her i was pregnant. Then she detached herself from me and ive spent time with her only 3 times since i became pregnant. She just doesnt want to know.
My other friend has not even asked me how i am doing when i speak to her. Both friends just want to talk about themselves.

My DH is lovely and does chat with me and he says to talk to my mum if i feel lonely but mum just says i'm being silly about things (i.e. yesterday i told her how i'm finding it harder to walk up the stairs to our 4th floor flat - she said its just cause i'm fat and unfit !! And telling her about my tummy feelings and she just told me not to think they are grumbles and eat or i'll get fat)

Just feel like i have nobody to chat with. I lie in bed at night reading my pregnancy books as its my first and so i dont KNOW what it should / shouldnt feel like but no one to share my thoughts with.
Ive searched the net for pregnancy yoga classes and the like as i thought meeting others in the same boat would be good, but found nothing (the only one i did find is off at present as the instructor is having her baby in a few weeks)

So i'm back to feeling lonely again and cry most days about it when i'm on my own

Any idea's ? Does anyone else feel like me or am i just strange ?
Thanks
Nat

 

[Bexie]

It's your hormones honey they are all over the place when your pregnant, it probably doesn't help that your friends aren't showing any enthusiam for your pregnancy.

Perhaps try speaking to them and tell them how your feeling and how important it is for you to have their friendship and support throughout your pregnancy.

I would also speak to your mum and let her know that what she's says is quite hurtful and upsetting.

I can't say I feel the same as you, but I can imagine how lonely it would be to have no-one to share your special experience with.

You just need to come onto the forum and chat to all the other women who are going through pregnancy with you.

Hope you feel less lonely and better soon

 

[keelie_b]

Hi,
Im sorry you feel like like, i have been feeling particuarly low recently and i know its never nice to hear but the hormones to highlight issues that usually we would just deal with.
Your friends are being very unfair though. you coul.d try asking why they are being this way? if there is any reason? maybe they worry that they will loose you now that you are starting your family.

Are there any other classes that you could sign up to? do you have a local leisure center that does anything for pregnant women? somtimes they have evening swims for pregnant women that teach you breathing techiniques and being in tune with your body ready for labour. Keep your eye out these things are deffinately a good way of meeting people.
Or what if you set something up yourself, advertise in the local paper for a coffee morning or something for pregnant women that want to meet others. If something like that was in my paper i would deffinately be interested.
Its a very special time for us no matter how many kids we may have had. Its my first and its all i want to talk about.

Keep chatting to us on here as well

Hope you feel better soon big hugs

 

[Jimmer]

Hi Nat - so sorry you feel like that - must be a horrible way to feel.

Have you considered taking NCT or other pregnancy classes? If you were to meet others who are at a similar stage in pregnancy to you in your area, that would be a group I am sure you could really get involved with....

Lots of hugs from all of us....



Jimmer

 

[charlotte_]

i can kind of associate with this.
i'm only 18, and all my friends have kind of passed me by, they have no respect for the fact that i'm pregnant, always trying to get me to come out drinking (which, lets face it, is just boring if you're not having a drink!) and whenever i talk about the baby or my pregnancy they're like 'yeah, whatever, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!'
also, last night OH said 'you don't have to tell me everytime he kicks you know!' it kind of annoyed me because i don't have anyone else to tell!

NCT classes might be a good idea for you, i'm not really into the idea personally, as everyone would be so much older than me, and i do get the dirty looks & the bitchy comments.

 

[nori]

Hiya.. if your friends are being like that they are either jelious or damn right immature. i wouldnt bother with them if i were you.

I can completely understand the feeling of wanting to meet others in the same boat as im about 20 miles away from all my family and friends and that does worry me a bit when ive had the baby. Ive decided to take action..

Ive booked every single NHS parenting class out there which included 2 2 hour parenting classes and a breastfeeding class. I think there are also antenatal classes towards the end.

Ive tried to find yoga classes for pregnant ladies but ive also not had any joy. I went to an aqua aerobics class but they were all over the age of 50 and it was sooo boring!

Ive emailed NCT to see if i can go along to their mothers to be meet without having to be a member. Im basically skint so cant afford over £100 on a class.

I probably sound extremely desperate for friends here dont i? lol

Claire x

 

[MagicMarkers]

I think ready a few posts about the place its quite common to feel a bit isolated during pregnancy speciaklly if your a bit younger, i have the same problem with all my friends overshadowing babytalk with * guess what happened when i went out *
Lucky we have PF eh !

 

[EllieBelle]

I can sympathise too, and your friends dont sound like very good friends, as they should be supportive and listen to you, especially as they have children so should remember what a worrying time being pregnant can be.

I have just moved back to the UK from France, and have no friends in the village we have moved to at all. In France there was always someone popping in for a coffee and a chat, but now I dont really know anyone, and my good friends are all 3 hours away (family 3 hours away in the other direction).

We took a year off from working to renovate our property in France so I dont have any work colleagues now Im back in the UK, so Im really quite alone!.

My DH goes back to France tomorrow for a little while to secure our house over there, however Im determined not to get too lonely and have decided to visit family and friends as Im not working, and make the most of my time before the baby arrives.

I know from talking to friends that once you have children, attend toddler groups etc you make a lot of friends, so am very much looking forward to meeting new people albeit thats a few months away yet.

As from tomorrow I will only have the dog and cats to chat to

Is there anything else you can do thats not necessarily baby related, I plan on swimming a couple of times a week, and also taking my young collie to training sessions (and agility until I wobble too much).

If you ever need to chat just shout!!!

 

[mary70]

hi hun have you tried finding a mother and toddler group in your area and having a walk along there is always mums ready to talk about pregnancy and babies and usually there are pregnant women there too that u could make new friend with, have a word with your midwife or contact your local health visitor