Any ideas please????

[-lisa-]

I realise that to some of you I may be making a mountain out of a molehill kinda thing but I am totally dreading going to my first midwife appointment at the local surgery as it is very likely that there will be someone there that I know.......There is only one close friend that my hubby & I have told and I am really not ready to tell anybody yet. Apart from all the normal worries of early pregnancy I will also be 'an older ' mum compared to having my other children so am a little more worried. I want to try and leave it as long as possible before telling the kids especially as my daughter will be nearly 11 by my due date, is totally baby mad and will be thrilled . I figure the longer I keep the news in, the shorter the wait for her.
Anyway, when I originally moved to this area when me and my hubby first got together, I stayed with my old doctor and didnt change to this doctor until after having other two children so didnt have this problem as all appointments etc were out of the area.
So now its just struck me that once I see the midwife here that the choice is out of my hands, which I really wouldnt be happy about ..............
I really cant think of any other way around it other than to change my doctor................has anyone else got any ideas at all???................... Im sorry for wittering on, its just really on my mind

 

[Sherlock]

Do you mean its someone who works there? If so they are supposed to respect confidentiality and not discuss you or anything medical etc with anyone outside of the place. I'd not worry overly about them telling people outside of the practice. Loads of women (and men) have to use their local practice and see people they know working there. I knew one lady at my old one and it never entered my head she would say anything about me to anyone outside of the place.

If you are concerned can you not have a word with them quietly when you go in? Explain you are keeping it quiet for now and of course have not told anyone. That way they will be aware others won't know so it wont come from them. Maybe they won't even be working on that day. I think you need to trust patient confidentiality a bit. If you have any concerns call and speak to the practice manager beforehand.

If it is a person who is also a patient then maybe try changing the time of your appointment.

 

[-lisa-]

Hi, they only do the midwife appointments on a Friday morning. The surgery is literally a 2 minute walk from where I live so I know that anyone locally uses this surgery. Its not who work there, just any other expectant mothers I may bump into........The girl next door but three is expecting and our children are in the same class at school! ....a friend told me that next door but two has just found out that she is expecting, my next door neighbour has 6 weeks to go (you see the midwife evey week or 2 when your nearing the end dont you?), also next door but 2 on the other side!! (maybe its the season for it LOL )..............this is apart from a few of the mums at school that I know are............Its just my luck for someone I know to be there and I just wont know until I walk in will I.....
I really cant think of a way around it...........if its a normal doctors appointment, your name flashes up on a board when its your turn...........If youre seeing a nurse or a midwife then they come into the waiting room and call your name........so its obviouse what your there for.......

 

[Hazel]

Blimey, is there something in the water where you live???

You will hopefully be able to go undetected but if you get seen you could ask the person to keep it quiet and explain you want to keep it a secret for a while longer.

 

[Jade&Evie]

Thing is, if one of the mums at your LO's school knows she will tell her mates (like any of us would!) and then by next week everyone will know. Maybe you could explain to the receptionist that you'd like to be discreet??

 

[Jade&Evie]

or.... if you bump into someone you know you could always tell them you're there for a smear... people don't normally ask many questions about them!

 

[abcd1234]

They wont always know why you're there, none of their business either.
Oh and as for you 11 year old, i was 10 when my sister was born and i loved it, she was a suprise, and yes i fully understood how babies were made but it was all very exciting to be old enough to understand what was going on and be "mature" enough ot be trusted to hold baby and feed her when shes born

 

[Penstraze]

No one needs to know why you are there you could be there for any number of reasons, your clinic could be different but with my clinic because of the time booking in appointments take they seem to have one day for booking in appointments and others for general midwife appointments so all these pregnant people you know most likely wont be there, I dont know if you have booked your appointment already but maybe you could ask for first or last one of day that way theres likely to be less people around. You are going to have to have your booking in appointment worrying about it wont stop that or any possible chances of you bumping to to someone all it will do is upset you and maybe baby so although its easier said then done try and relax about it and face that bridge when you come to it, if you bump into someone and your sure its obvious why your there perhaps explain to them you haven't told your children yet and don't want to until 12 weeks make it clear no one knows and you would like it to stay that way, they will most likely suport your wishes especially with your childrens feelings at stake and with them knowing they are only one who knows it would be obvious it was them if word got out so they're more likely to be careful. If the worst happens and you do see people you are sure wont keep it to themselves it may be wise to tell your children that night just incase, but thats a worse case senario and probably unlikely! I know loads of people through working in a nursery and now a sawmills, I even looked after a number of my doctors children so know them well too and the only time ive bumped into someone I knew where it was obvious I am pregnant was at 12 week scan to a couple we know also wanting to keep pregnancy quiet so there was no problem there, and after scan was happy to tell everyone anyway!

 

[lisa282]

Just an idea, but could you possibly ask them for the first or last appointment of the midwife's day, so there will be as few women as possible waiting around to be seen? The last appt especially would work, as all the other ladies would have left by then and unlikely to come back in. A friend of mine did this with her first baby up until she started to show, by which time it kinda doesnt matter cos it will be obvious to everyone.

 

[-lisa-]

Hi, I rang and asked about the first & last appointment thing and was told that there is only one midwife and so appointments tend to run late so was best to have the first one to be in and out. Theyve changed my time to 9.30, so hopefully there will only be 2 before me and it will be on time. You get 15 mins per appointment so hopefully if I go a few minutes late it will work out o.k.
I did get offered a 9.00 appointment for a week later than my own. Ive still got 2 weeks to wait for my booking in appointment (they gave it me a fortnight ago..said their was a bit of a wait because hte Midwife lost a week of bookings due to Good Fri'). But this would mean that I 'd have waited 5 weeks until I book in. I'm 4 weeks further than I thought, not decided on certain tests, and think booking in at 11 weeks would be stretching it a bit.
The one good thing is that I was told that the normal surgery runs alongside and your name flashes up on the board with a room no. instead of the midwife coming out to get you.......so should be o.k.
Thanks for your replys...................sorry for babbling.............I have trouble cutting a long story short!

 

[Sherlock]

Sounds good

IMO 11 weeks isn't too late to book in. They tend to start from 8 weeks onwards but often ladies are not booked in till 10 weeks plus. As they really tend not to do anything before 12 weeks anyways I don't see it hurting. Just most women tend to be impatient and want to book in earlier than later