Any advice on this one ????????????????/

[jano]

Got a real problem about my dad smoking. He happily smokes in front of me now I am pregnant, so i either leave the room, or I put a scarf over my face. But my real concern is after the baby is born, when i take him round to his grandparents house and exposing them to the toxins in there.

When my maternity leave is up, mum will be looking after my baby at their house when i go to work. At the moment, they look after my dog when i go to work and when she comes back here at the end of the day she stinks of fags, so i`m worried that this will happen to my baby too. I couldn`t bare it.

My mum has assured me that she won`t let my dad smoke in the same room as the baby, and she has a nice bedroom that is smoke free lined up for the baby to sleep in. Which sounds good.

I half jokingly suggested that dad wore a special jacket or top that was clean from smoke when he cuddled the baby, and it he took great offence and mum told me no way is she going to make her husband wear special clothes in his own house.

I feel as though they have got us over a barrel, if we want their help with child care we will just have to tolerate the baby being exposed to toxins whilst in their care.

Am i being hysterical, or is there going to be a real risk to health of my child??

Any feed back on this will be gratefully received XX

 

[rusks]

i don't think your being hysterical, this is a really difficult one but i would be pretty cheesed off as well.

just because your baby is in another room does not make it a complete smoke free atmosphere and like you say it will be on their clothes. i don't know what to advise you, do they really know how you feel about it?

 

[Minxy]

My dad smokes 40+ a day and his other grandchildren call him the smoky man

TBH, you're right, they have 'got you over a barrell' in a way. Stanley is going to my mum's when I go back to work and if I want to enjoy the benfits of free childcare then I'll have to accept he'll be in a house where a smoker lives.

He would never smoke around my baby, and if you've got the same reassurance then it's probably the best you could hope for. If the baby has a smoke free room and will probably be going out for walks and to the park with grandma then I would try not to worry too much.

 

[TipsyDipsy]

I'm in the same position.
My MIL smokes as well but swears she doesn't do it around my daughter.
I don't believe her though because when I finish work the room is thick with it.
I don't know what to do though as I can't tell her what to do in her own house as she is doing me a favour because without her babysitting I wouldn't be able to afford child care and I need to work 2 days a week to cover bills.
I just thank god I only work part time.

 

[foxymum]

hmmm this is a toughie.
i'm sorry but i wouldn't leave my baby in a house where anyone smokes, not even in a different room coz smoke travels invisibly.
i know its hard coz you have to work & stuff, but could you try talking to them? explain the risks & that smoking can increase the risk of all sorts of horrible things for the baby.

at least they are your own parents so you will feel more comfortable spaeking to them rather than it being in-laws.
good luck hun.xxx

 

[kayzee]

Hiya, i dont work but i needed my best mate donna to look after tia while i had a meeting to attend. She smokes and luckily is really good with tia, she goes into her bedroom and has a fag and doesnt smoke near her at all. BUT!!!! even though she does all this when i got tia home she absolutely stank!! her hair clothes and toys all stunk of smoke so i had to bath her and wash everything just to get rid of the smell. Even though every precaution was taken it still happened. xx

 

[Alfiesmummy]

wellllllllll there are 2 sides of the argument, at the end of the day it is your choice for your LO to be looked after by your parents and it is their house so they shoulkdnt be told what they can and cannot do etc. However they should also be aware they are being entrusted with a tiny little life and because its your fathers choice to smoke should no way inflict it on your baby. It is a hard situation as tbh i would be upset if someone came and told me what to do in my home but then again if i smoked and was lookinbg after a baby i would go outside thats just me, whether i was asked to or not. If you feel so strongly about it you should tell them. My mum smokes like a chimney and shes had Alfie at hers twice (without me) but weve slept over alot of times and she always goes outside for a cigarette wont smoke in the car if he was in there etc. I would be pretty cheesed off if she did tbh but I understand where your coming from, who do you tell someone you love and respect this? I would speak to your dad not through your mum but face to face as he will be more likely to know how serious you are about this if you talk to him about it

 

[Misslarue]

I'm sorry but I have to agree with foxymum, I wouldn't leave my baby in a house where anyone smokes. You are definitely not being hysterical hun, not only will your baby breathe in all the toxins, but passive smoking also increases your babies risk of cot death. Enough said

My OH has just given up smoking (Thursday) but I would make him smoke outside, in a 'smoking' jacket. As soon as he came back in he would have to wash his face and hands, and still I was not happy!

You really need to talk to your parents and explain how you feel. Maybe supply them with some information (i.e. how bad it is for your baby, as well as themselves ) to explain why it is so important to you. I told my MIL she could only look after my baby if she didn't smoke. I only meant while she had him but she gave up in August! Good luck hun

(By the way, I gave up in May and I'm still gagging for one!!)

 

[Fiona]

my in-laws are both heavy smokers but as soon as I was pregnant my husband asked them not to smoke anywhere near me........ and they were really good about it... never smoked if we were all out together and if we were at their house they always went in the garden......

I really respect them for doing this for us and our baby - it hasn't been easy for either of them because they usually smoke such a lot..

They also have 2 other grandchildren but because OH brother has never told them not to smoke around their kids they did all the time. the kids would often stay over at theirs and they would be smoking in the house all the time.

Dh has told them that he doesn't want them smoking anywhere near out child because of the health risks and also we both hate the smell of smoke and don't want this inflicted on our baby... consequently they both gave up smoking at new year and so far so good......... they told us that they were glad that we said what we did because it gave them the motivation to stop smoking and that they completely understood why we said what we said.......... I know we have been very lucky and like I said I love and respect them for making such an amazing effort... but our child is also their grandchild who I know they will love so much and they are doing it not just becuase we said so but because they understand the risks of secondry smoking etc.

Try and have a good chat with your dad about it, pick the right moment and stay calm......... explain how dangerous secondry smoking is and how precious your baby is to you and you know will be to them aswell. Good luck.......... let us know how it goes

 

[Sassyminx]

Got a real problem about my dad smoking. He happily smokes in front of me now I am pregnant, so i either leave the room, or I put a scarf over my face. But my real concern is after the baby is born, when i take him round to his grandparents house and exposing them to the toxins in there.

When my maternity leave is up, mum will be looking after my baby at their house when i go to work. At the moment, they look after my dog when i go to work and when she comes back here at the end of the day she stinks of fags, so i`m worried that this will happen to my baby too. I couldn`t bare it.

My mum has assured me that she won`t let my dad smoke in the same room as the baby, and she has a nice bedroom that is smoke free lined up for the baby to sleep in. Which sounds good.

I half jokingly suggested that dad wore a special jacket or top that was clean from smoke when he cuddled the baby, and it he took great offence and mum told me no way is she going to make her husband wear special clothes in his own house.

I feel as though they have got us over a barrel, if we want their help with child care we will just have to tolerate the baby being exposed to toxins whilst in their care.

Am i being hysterical, or is there going to be a real risk to health of my child??

Any feed back on this will be gratefully received XX

i think your being perfectly reasonable, passive smoking causes allsorts of childhood illnesses, and why should your baby have to take in the toxins because of your dads selfishness?????

i personally wouldnt let anyone smoke in the same room as my baby, it annoys the hell out of me that people think its acceptable, i suffered from bronchitis when i was 15 because of my best mates mum she used to smoke in the same room as us, and she was the only person i knew who smoked at the time, doctor said id caught it from passive smoking.

Tell him your concerns, and your mum and see what he says, if your not satisfied id find someone else to look after your child.

 

Is there any chance your mum could look after your LO at your house? Just a suggestion

 

[foxymum]

Is there any chance your mum could look after your LO at your house? Just a suggestion

YES !!!!! thats such a good idea, why didn't i think of it
whenever anyone has mine, i always ask if they can have them here coz everything the baby needs is here & its a lot easier not having to lug such a lot of equipment around.

 

[Icecream]

My OH smokes too. i tried making him go elsewhere, and for a while he used another room. I can't make him go outside in his own house. Sometimes he would smoke around me but mostly not. However, I don't think he's had one for a while. Maybe he's realised bubbly will be here soon? if he does start agin i can't tell him what to do in his house though. He did say he didn't think the smoke toxins would be a problem in another room. It is a big house though.

 

[Misslarue]

I can't make him go outside in his own house.

Course you can! Kick his ar$e outside
If he needs a reason show him this:

http://www.ash.org.uk/
Risk to young children

Almost half of all children in the UK are exposed to tobacco smoke at home. [10] Passive smoking increases the risk of lower respiratory tract infections such as bronchitis, pneumonia and bronchiolitis in children. One study found that in households where both parents smoke, young children have a 72 per cent increased risk of respiratory illnesses. [11] Passive smoking causes a reduction in lung function and increased severity in the symptoms of asthma in children, and is a risk factor for new cases of asthma in children. [12] [13] Passive smoking is also associated with middle ear infection in children as well as possible cardiovascular impairment and behavioural problems. [14]

Infants of parents who smoke are more likely to be admitted to hospital for bronchitis and pneumonia in the first year of life. More than 17,000 children under the age of five are admitted to hospital every year because of the effects of passive smoking. [15] Passive smoking during childhood predisposes children to developing chronic obstructive airway disease and cancer as adults. 15 Exposure to tobacco smoke may also impair olfactory function in children. A Canadian study found that passive smoking reduced children’s ability to detect a wide variety of odours compared with children raised in non-smoking households. [16] Passive smoking may also affect children’s mental development. A US study found deficits in reading and reasoning skills among children even at low levels of smoke exposure. [17]

For further information regarding the health risks of exposure to secondhand smoke for adults and children see the ‘Going smoke-free’ report by the Royal College of Physicians. [18]

Exposure to passive smoking during pregnancy is an independent risk factor for low birth weight.13 One study has also shown that babies exposed to their mother’s tobacco smoke before they are born grow up with reduced lung function [19] Parental smoking is also a risk factor for sudden infant death syndrome (cot death).

 

[Icecream]

No I can't it's his house. If I don't like it I know where to go, and he knows all about what people say about passive smoking, but still shrugs it off.