Anxiety, Being miserable and Rows with your OH!

[*glow*]

Hi all

Just hoping you can all make me feel a tad better! I have noticed a lot of posts on rowing with OH and thought I would start a thread about that and general anxiety! Have broken it down into three areas (to stop me moaning on and on!)

MiserableOver the past few days I seem to have turned into Blanche from Corrie or Victor Meldrew! I can't seem to get any joy about anything! Dreading a sober Christmas not because I want to drink but the thought of listening to drunken drivel is a total nightmare! My family are 400 miles away and this is the first year in three years I won't see at least one of them at Christmas! Fed up of the 'why are you driving to the free booze Christmas party' attacks!

Rows with OH To top it all off Iam being a total total cow to OH. Not in any particular format, I just feel bad that I am so difficult at mo! And the little angel is busy cookin and generally trying to make me happy. I am so lucky! But if I am being brutally honest a wee bit resentful that his life has not changed - he can still have a couple of red wines and doesn't crave his bed 24/7. I hate it. And now he has started to snap all the time, probably because he feels he can't do anything right. Another problem is that I have a slightly uncommunicative other half and am very concerned about how my ehaviour may be making him feel cos he won't just come out and say it!

Anxiety Not pleasant constantly feeling stressed and panicked like I have too much on my plate. Maybe I feel like this way because its Christmas and we all have tons to do, and I feel like this every year but am actually focusing on it... But the anxiety is not limited to that... I then start to panic about money, coping (ooh big admission that one!), and how my life will change. Thats on top of the normal anxiety about the health of the baby...

Anyway the point of this thread is cos I reckon if you guys say to me, oh yeah, thats normal I get that too I will stop worrying that there is something wrong with me and I am not coping!! Sorry for the rant, but it seems there is lots of trickles of info on this and it would be god to hear from some 'second timers' about the life change thing....

and one last thing, In case you are wondering, I am really glad to be pregnant, but defo need an 'offload'

xxxxx[/u]

 

[PyscoFalcon]

I always feel misrable in the 2ww (now it's become the 3ww!)

As for snapping at OH etc - I always do that when I'm due and during my AF and hubby just shrugs it off and counts it as hormones. He does snap back sometimes and when he does I do bugger all around the house lol.

I then start to panic about money, coping (ooh big admission that one!), and how my life will change. Thats on top of the normal anxiety about the health of the baby...

I'm like that everymonth when it could be a "maybe this time" but like my hubby says - there's loads of things we can sacrifice for the bubba like slower internet connection (were on 10mb atm) and less channels on TV, slow down or even stop hobbies etc, buy cheaper food and clothes. So we will manage.

Biggest problem with me is thinking if I'll cope with bubba but again hubby says "you'll be fine, look how you care for your animals" etc

So I'm sure everyone goes thru the same. It really does help when hubby is understanding.

 

[topbird]

the anxiety is the worse for us.

We watched Jack and Sarah on Film4 last night - don't know why as it is prob not good karma - but we were looking at the little baby in it - half of time thinking awwwhhhhhhh can't wait and the rest OMG what are we doing????

Had a big panic about money when I was in the shower this morning as well...... suddenly dawned on me I will not be getting paid for most of my maternity leave (apart from the pittance £100 a week or what ever it is now)..... will be relying on my husband! Still want 9 months off though

 

[Melly+2]

i was like that with my bf too when pg, he understood though i think

 

[*glow*]

Hi Gals

Thanks for the words of wisdom, made me feel a whole lot better!

In response to your comments my OH does understand, he runs around cooking and making me whatever I fancy to eat. What an angel. He listened to me pour my heart out at the weekend and told me not to worry, gave me a hug and generally made me feel better. But we had a loss quite far into our last pregnancy two years ago, so I guess I have to remember the worry I have is very real for him too!

I was also told that I may have problems conceiving due to medical issues so its a miracle we got this far so I need to stop worrying and start enjoying!

Putting it bluntly I need to pull myself together a bit and get over it! It will be so much better in 2 weeks when we tell all our friends and family and I have to stop avoiding calls etc asking me to go for cocktails and Christmas parties! (Oh I should be so popular!!). Our families will be excited and stop asking me if I want to go clubbing on NYE!!!!

So instead of being bah humbug I am off to put the tree up and put the Christmas tunes on (well, maybe I will draw the line at that!

Thanks again x

 

[Sabrina]

Hi Glow and other ladies

I don't think we should be too hard on ourselves about the worries and little rows with our OHs. I think it's actually quite a difficult time during the first few weeks (whole of the first trimester really). Not only do our bodies have a lot to deal with but our minds do too!

I'm trying not to worry too much about things I can't change. Although I must admit I was REALLY disappointed to see the maternity benefits have not improved one bit since my last pregnancy 17 years ago! That was a shock. I know I'll have to go back to work when the baby is 6 months old as I am the main wage earner and we'll have to live off savings in between.

Those Christmas parties are a pain aren't they? I have one on Thursday which is free drink all night 6pm - 1am. I'll probably be the only one who's sober! LOL I don't plan to stay much after the main dinner as I know everyone will be asking "why aren't you drinking??" and I have used up my excuses already.

It's really nice to come here and read of others in a similar position. Thanks for starting this thread Glow. It made me (and my OH) realise we aren't alone and raging hormones have a lot to answer for!

Sabrina
xx

 

[kirlykird]

SO normal and doesn't go away!

My OH keeps asking if he can have my sense oh humour back for Christmas

Told him if you don't like what happens when pregnancy occurs, keep it in your trousers!

 

[Emma22]

agree with kirly my sense of humour has been lost too and everything agrevates me! me and OH are rowing at the moment so no fun at all. cant say its got any easier in the second tri, sorry girls

 

[x-kirsty-x]

Me and OH have been arguing alot lately. Once it was so bad that his parents had to get involved to stop us killing each other!

I've told him I want to split up about 6 times in the past 2 weeks! He's always walking on eggshells bless him.

I just hope the baby brings us closer together cos our arguments certainly cant get any worse!

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Im exactly the same and feel horrible about it. And everytime i start to feel better i feel worse the next day Although my OH has been through this before , its much much worse this time and i dont even seem to have much patience with Kiara which makes me feel even worse.

Katrina

 

[Vicki & Nathan]

i was exactly the same when i found out, i was finding myself losing my patience with everyone and everything and snapping at people too which is not me usually but thankfully that seems to have passed now. OH understood though he realised it was just hormones and i didn't really mean it and was very supportive