Another one....

[1sttimemum]

PND.

I have been diagnosed with it. I took the tablets for about a week and then i decided i didnt want to be on them I dont no why.

I dont even no where to start,

I cant handle being a mum and i dont wana be a mum, there are people all around me telling me how fab it is to have kids and how much joy you get out of them The only time im happy is when caitlyn does a smile which is about once a day, i have shouted at her before now why? It isnt going to do anything let alone any good.

Im sooo paranoid that no one likes me and people are talking about me behind my back, i dread the next nappy or feed and im trying a routine of bath bottle bed but i even dread giving her a bath, seems like such a struggle.

I find it really hard to ask for help.
My mum has offered to have Caitlyn overnight so me and OH can go out and have a nice time, but he doesnt want to as he feels Caitlyn is too young to be staying out yet,

I do have lots of people around me, i force myself out each day as id die of boredom if i stayed in the house all the time, I have lots of "acquaintances" who i see during the week who have kids themselves. I go to a postnatal group once a week but i think i am the youngest there i feel like they kinda look down on me i am 23, so hardly a young mum.

My OH works daft shifts and is also trying to get his papers in for his sargeant promotion so is spending most his time off doing those and i dont feel like were doing anything as a family,

Im normally so on top of the housework, but ive got ironing sat there that wants putting away and i just can be bothered, I am eating far too much.

I didnt realise i had so much to say on the situation lol. The only people who no how i am feeling are OH and GP and HV, I dont think any of them understand the true extent of how im feeling. I feel ashamed to tell me family. I told them i had prenatal depression and they just kinda ignored it, my dad apparantly said to my sis dont worry about it, it will go away she will be fine and not my mum or dad spoke to me about it. My sis was really upset in case i had depression after the birth and couldnt cope.

 

[zebrastripes]

Oh no I'm so sorry to hear this

Maybe if you don't like the tablets you could try some alternative therapies/remedies? Just a thought, even if they don't work it may feel like you're at least doing something to fight it.
Being a mum may not feel like much fun right now, but I promise you, one day it will! Caitlyn is still very young, but soon she will begin to smile more and more each day, then chuckle, then give kisses... and you'll start to really reap the rewards from the great job you've been doing as her mummy
Try not to be paranoid about what people think of you- they will like you, from your posts on here you seem a lovely girl, and even if for some reason they didn't they probably aren't worth it anyway!
Nappys and feeding is horribly repetitive in the early days- up until Willow was about 3-4 months it seemed like all I did was feed her or change her nap- as soon as I'd change her, she'd be hungry, then after her feed she'd need changed again! It will even out soon! It sounds stupid, but when you're changing her nappy, sing to her, or talk rubbish, or recite poetry..do something different! it honestly does alleviate some of the repetition, which can really grate on your mind.

I'm really sorry you're having to go through this, everyone seems to be getting PND these days, it's really not fair as you are all lovely & brilliant people!

 

[purple13]

aw hon

i don't have pnd so i can't really offer you any advice, but like zebrastripes says, it seems that quite a few of you have it at the moment at least you're in the right place for empathy and support

i have the same thing with seeing lots of acquaintances during the week, and the paranoia that noone likes me. i'm pretty sure that its all in our heads, but its a difficult one to get over.

take care hon - talk to people and look after yourself. it WILL get better

xxx

 

[Lola's Mummy]

I'm so sorry your feeling like this

Have you spoken to your GP about the tablets? Maybe you could try some thing different?
I really don't know what to day but it will get easier, I promise
I just feel so sorry for you as your not getting to enjoy your little girl like you deserve to

Your a wonderful person and very pretty so you don't need to worry about that

I'd maybe stop going to the postnatal group as well if it's making you feel bad. Is there any other groups where you live? They may have younger mums that go to them with more in common with you

You can always pm me if you need to chat

 

[1sttimemum]

Thanks for your replies ladies, its not the tablets as in the brand more of the fact that its anti ds. even now when ive had them prescribed means i wont be accepted for certain jobs

the women at the group arnt horrible or anything, there are 10 of us, maybe its a too bigger of a group i dont no.......when i try and say something, someone else will say something and ill then be ignored i like going to the group for all the inforMation, i dont have much self belief in what im doing so like it too boost my knowledge.

Like ive said ive got quite a few friends with kids, i feel id rather have a couple of good friends rather than lots of ok ones ...........

 

[Lou]

I think you should take the tablets if thats what the doctor thinks you need. Theres no shame in being on them, I took them before I had Isaac and I am back on them now. I starting feeling not right when Isaac was about 6-8 months old and I went straight to the doctors because I had to put Isaac first and I knew I wasn't feeling right. My family were'nt very sympathetic (I come from a family that doesn't talk about personal things) and my boyfriend is a 'get on with it' type of person (not that theres anything wrong with that, it just didn't help me much).

Lou

 

[Snuggle]

Hun I'm not lecturing but taking the tablets for a week then stopping will make you worse and can actually make you feel like you cant cope even more than before. I am on anti d's and have been for a few months. Its nothing to be ashamed of. I am in the process of being weaned off them and I feel on top of the world. They got me through a period where I felt like you do so maybe you should give them a go (docs recommend 6 months). Obviously its entirely your decision hun. If you need a chat just PM me

 

[MissThing]

I am sorry you are feeling like this I went throught a very dark period myself, but it passed. And yours will get better too My only advice is to take all the help there is (in-laws, antidepressants, everything).

And, dont think that you are failing as a mummy. Believe me, there can be no better mum to your LO then you are, no matter what!

 

[1sttimemum]

I think i may give them a chance. I no its hard for my OH to see me like this.

 

[Princess_Puddles]

I am going through the same thing at the moment hun, I stopped my anti ds after a week too, it won't do any harm stopping them after a week and will not make you feel worse for doing it other than mentally feeling like you are failing, I was told by my Doc today that they can take up to 4/6 weeks for you to feel any good effects and that for the first few days/weeks it will probably be just the side effects you feel. I am going to be trying some new ones soon (you have to wait 2 weeks before trying any new ones)
Don't feel ashamed of having them, I never wanted to go on them but I feel that bad that I need to and I know that they will make me feel better and its not going to be forever, just untill I know that there is a life out there for me to enjoy again, they are there to give you that boost you need right now and then life will be alot brighter. Also don't feel bad about not wanting to be a Mum right now, depression is an illness it takes over your thoughts and feelings. For now take all the help you can, parents are hard to talk about this to because, well Ive found with mine they just dont understand, has your HV mentioned Homestart to you? where a lady comes round to your house for an hour or two once or twice a week to help you with your LO whilst you do whatever you feel eg, have a bath, housework, chill out etc.. they are trained people, its completely free and very helpful I have one come round once a week and she's a god send and very good with Harrison. Another thing is, dont fret over housework its not important right now, obviously it needs to be done but not everyday, maybe make a list of one job for a day or everyother to be done. Try and get out as much as you can, fresh air and exercise is good for you mind (thats probably hypocritical of me because I cannot even leave the house at the moment but thats beacause of my fear) and people arent looking down on you hun, thats the depression it can make you paranoid and feel that everyone is looking and talking about you when they really arent. Also no one is a perfect Mum we all loose our cool at times and will shout at our kids esp when you're feeling so crap, no it doesn't do any good but it happens. Hun if you ever need someone to talk to i'm always about, dont go through this alone

 

[debecca]

i don't have pnd so i can't really offer you any advice, but like zebrastripes says, it seems that quite a few of you have it at the moment at least you're in the right place for empathy and support

I think probably a lot of people have PND on here but wouldn't particularly have said anything until a few of us have made posts being honest about how we were feeling. I think it's a good thing we're talking about it a lot more!

to all sufferers!

 

[debecca]

PND.

I have been diagnosed with it. I took the tablets for about a week and then i decided i didnt want to be on them I dont no why.

First of all a huge because I know exactly where you're coming from. I have been battling with PND myself since Connie was about 5 or 6 weeks old and it's really not much fun at all. Can you think of any reason why you stopped the pills? What type were you on? I am feeling so much better on mine, honestly, but they did take about a week to kick in. I'm on Fluoxetine. The doctor I saw was very sympathetic. The first time I saw her I was insistent I didn't want medication but after another week things had got so bad I felt I didn't have a choice. I'm not sure how bad things are for you at the moment, but if medication makes you feel better then surely it's worth a shot? My doctor explained to me that I WOULD get through it but it would take a lot less time with medication. I now feel like I enjoy every day rather than feeling like I'm just "getting through" each day.

I dont even no where to start,

I cant handle being a mum and i dont wana be a mum, there are people all around me telling me how fab it is to have kids and how much joy you get out of them The only time im happy is when caitlyn does a smile which is about once a day, i have shouted at her before now why? It isnt going to do anything let alone any good.

Im sooo paranoid that no one likes me and people are talking about me behind my back, i dread the next nappy or feed and im trying a routine of bath bottle bed but i even dread giving her a bath, seems like such a struggle.

I find it really hard to ask for help.
My mum has offered to have Caitlyn overnight so me and OH can go out and have a nice time, but he doesnt want to as he feels Caitlyn is too young to be staying out yet,

I do have lots of people around me, i force myself out each day as id die of boredom if i stayed in the house all the time, I have lots of "acquaintances" who i see during the week who have kids themselves. I go to a postnatal group once a week but i think i am the youngest there i feel like they kinda look down on me i am 23, so hardly a young mum.

My OH works daft shifts and is also trying to get his papers in for his sargeant promotion so is spending most his time off doing those and i dont feel like were doing anything as a family,

Im normally so on top of the housework, but ive got ironing sat there that wants putting away and i just can be bothered, I am eating far too much.

I didnt realise i had so much to say on the situation lol. The only people who no how i am feeling are OH and GP and HV, I dont think any of them understand the true extent of how im feeling. I feel ashamed to tell me family. I told them i had prenatal depression and they just kinda ignored it, my dad apparantly said to my sis dont worry about it, it will go away she will be fine and not my mum or dad spoke to me about it. My sis was really upset in case i had depression after the birth and couldnt cope.

This all sounds really hard for you, especially with your OH working shifts. I really do empathise with your feelings though. I felt EXACTLY the same about Connie, like I was putting it on that she made me happy and I wasn't really enjoying her at all. And like you, EVERYTHING was a struggle for me. I felt like I was existing just because I had to. Even taking a shower was a hassle.

You really need to get some help hun. Don't struggle with this on your own. Have you got a PND support group near you? xx

PM me if you need anything xx

 

[1sttimemum]

I think its fab that people are talking about PND more, simply because you see that many people who are loving being a parent and then that in itself makes me feel like im even loopier

I stopped taking the tabs as i didnt like the though of me being on anti ds. I am on the citolopram or something
I think i am going to take them. I showed my OH the post i made and he said he wanted me to go on them for all of us sakes. Hes taken her to his mums today for a bit of respite for me, I didnt really speak to the doc as it was the HV who advised me to go on them, she wrote the doc a letter telling her how i was feeling and that she thought it might be an idea for me to go on them and the fact i had prenatal depression to.

 

[debecca]

I think its fab that people are talking about PND more, simply because you see that many people who are loving being a parent and then that in itself makes me feel like im even loopier

I stopped taking the tabs as i didnt like the though of me being on anti ds. I am on the citolopram or something

My friend's on Citalopram for PND.

Just a thought... Citalopram TENDS to be prescribed for people who have anxiety/panic issues as well as the depression, and Fluoxetine TENDS to be better for those who are just depressed (I did internet research and my doctor said that was spot on)... Citalopram does tend to give more side effects I believe? Either way my friend who's on them had a week or so of feeling crap but then now feels brilliant and like herself again!

I think you're doing the right thing

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

hi sweetie sorry just seen this
im gona give you a call

 

[trixipaws]

aww no, i wish i could help

theres lotsa women on here who suffer with similar too so hopefully u ca get plenty of support for it.

good luck with the treatment, i hope ur feeling yourself again very soon!