And so here I am.....

[KatD]

In April DH and I received the news that his sperm count was too low due to an enlarged vein in his scrotum, which makes the temperature not ideal for sperm growth, development and preservation. Tests didn't indicate that I had a hormone problem and my thyroid seems tobe doing good. Yet, my period is all over the place and I have no idea when or even if O occurs. Sometimes I feel like crying. Sometimes I convice myself that I don't want kids...and then I take a deep breath and I carry on. It'll happen...right?!

So, I've decided to start the tedious task of charting again and using OPKs and exercising and eating healthier and not stressing....and as I'm writing this I feel stupid for biting back tears (maybe it was my friend calling to say how they're pregnant again and that she hopes the news won't upset me, of course it doesn't... it's just...well, you know) because somehow I didn't imagine I would ever have to deal with the uncertainty of potential childlessness....


Suck it up buttercup... tomorrow we Soldier on...today we cuddle hubs and praise him for being so brave!

 

[katie88]

Hey hunny *huge hugs*

I totally feel your pain right now!

We're about to start our first cycle of ivf. I have severe PCOS and a low to nil egg count, so I too have the thoughts of possible childlessness! But at least us ladies on here have each other to help us get through! I seem to fight back tears at least once a day at the moment but then hubs does something sweet or cute without realizing and he always makes me feel better.

xxx

 

[WolfMamma]

So good to see you back hunny. We've missed you

 

[Elven]

Welcome back, I was wondering how you were doing! Sending lots of baby dust your way. x

 

[KatD]

Tuesday 19 June 2018

It's Tuesday afternoon and we have lovely sunny weather in South Africa (well, for the most part in Kwazulu Natal area) and I've just sat down to have a cup of tea. DH is on bed rest - poor thing, he's in quite a bit of discomfort after the op.

So, Yesterday I had some ewcm - which, for me doesn't mean much. My cycles have been irregular ever since I came off the pill more than a year ago so seeing ewcm a few times during my cycle isn't anything to get too excited about. My gyni called this morning, I need to go and "have a little chat" with her on Friday. Mmm...these 'little chats' are dubious at best. I just need the woman to prescribe me something that will get me to ovulate, darn it! At least, if I know that eg. CD12-16 is go-time it would be a lot easier than assuming I'm fertile for 30-45 days every cycle. Neither me nor the hubster is keen on that circus. I hate it when people say, '...we didn't even have that much sex and we got pregnant...' then again, I hate it when people say a lot of things about how pregnancy came so easily to them, like it was so simple...like catching the flu.

Anyhow...think POSITIVE...

So, taking my dogchild to the vet again this afternoon. She ran herself into some random barbed wire and cut herself quite badly, now the drainage is causing some problems so will have to get that sorted. Then I need to go show some potential clients my rental house and hope they lease it for three months. I honestly would sell that place if the market wasn't shot here in SA. Other than that, there is the regional meeting to prepare for and I need to keep the online application updated as it will be showcased on Thursday...and through it all, I'm still here trying not to think about getting pregnant. The more I try to block it out the more I end up dishing onto my plate. Unhealthy coping mechanism some would say.

To add.........I got another pack of CB Ovulation Sticks and started charting this morning. DH even helped me to pick out a new therm..he was looking at the really expensive ones when all I want is one that isn't haywire and can just give me a decent indication of when my fertile window is. Too much to ask?