Am I wrong for not wanting baby's dad to take him somewhere without me at 3 weeks old

[hugsy]

Ive been thinking about this more and I think you should trust your OH, after all he is his baby as well. As women we are all too quick to moan about when our OHs get it wrong, don't make an effort with baby (me being one of them!) so I think more credit needs to be given to them. As mums we've all got it wrong at some point or another and have learnt how to do everything with our babies through experiences and trial and error. It's only fair that OHs are given the chance to learn from these experiences as well otherwise how can we ever expect them to learn and help. I found that shutting my OH out and doing everything myself just made him feel inadequate and want to get involved less. After talking to another bloke about it all I decided to take a much more laid back approach to OH and LO and he is so much more willing and excited to get involved and help out because he knows I'm not going to criticise how he's doing everything and is learning so much quicker through experience rather than me ranting on to him about how do to do everything.


Off my soapbox now lol.

well said, i was just thinking we all use this site so much for all the things we re not sure on and learning our self so no one is born knowing what to do it really is all a learning cure for mammy's and daddy's

 

[Hollipops]

I personally was more than happy for oh to have my dd on his own (he would take her for a walk roud the block and let me sleep) and I think if you are happy to leave the baby with him whether it's at home or out shouldn't matter if it doesn't affect feeding. Could the relatives not come to your house?

Re the gym I was advised to wait 6 weeks and definitely no running. I wasn't getting much sleep anyway so a workout was far from my mind!!

 

[l_maclean]

Tbh, I'm inclined to agree with ur oh. That probably makes me in the minority, but it's his child too. If you were happy enough to leave your LO with him so you can go to the gym, you should trust him to decide how they spend that time. Sorry if that sounds a wee bit harsh - I don't mean to be. Xxx

 

[l_maclean]

Oh - and the gym - I was told that before 6 weeks you should only do Excercise that you could do at 9months pregnant - I was still dancing the day before labour, so was back out at 3weeks post partum, but it's good guide cos a lot of folk thought i shouldn't be. Xxx

 

[jojo_2012]

I wouldn't let OH take him the baby wouldn't like it he only trusts me.

I don't like the the sounds of what your other half says, arguing over who has right to the baby etc is something you do with your ex not your OH, he needs to respect you more!

 

[Sarah13]

Oh - and the gym - I was told that before 6 weeks you should only do Excercise that you could do at 9months pregnant - I was still dancing the day before labour, so was back out at 3weeks post partum, but it's good guide cos a lot of folk thought i shouldn't be. Xxx

This is my understanding too, i worked out until the day I went into labour so if you were doing fitness until you gave birth and feel ok you should be fine if not give the gym a miss until 6 week check to be on the safe side.
I wouldn't leave lo either, i rarely leave him for long 6 months down the line and exercise with him instead most of the time!

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk

 

[Sleepy sue]

It's a totally personal decision, as I'm bf (apart from the odd top up) I haven't been able to be away from LO for long (max 30 min to pop into sainsburys) but I would trust DH explicitly as long as LO is with one of us I know he is safe. Don't get me wrong I'm not talking over night or for all day but that's only because I'd miss him not because I'd worry.
May be I'm by myself with this xx

 

[VikkiR]

I'd tell him it's hormones and sorry but new mummies are programmed to feel this way and for him to give you understanding x

 

[Pickledonions]

Its a hard one because I can sort of see his point...lol. However my dh made the same ones and I still ignored him...yesterday was the forst day in 3 months I went out and left them alone together because I needed it and theywere fine hehe. But no way not at 3 weks I would either want to go too or he wouldnt be taking him,not a chance

 

[Nic36]

I trust my OH implicitly with our LO. I think it's important that they spend time together without me every day - usually I am in the other room, preparing diner or something, but I want Emily to grow up trusting and loving her mummy as much as her daddy. My hubby loves his little girl as much as I do so why shouldn't he spend quality time with her too? Having said that though, he hasn't taken LO out on his own - but if he wanted to I would have no problem with that at all.

 

[Cazza]

I trust my OH implicitly with our LO. I think it's important that they spend time together without me every day - usually I am in the other room, preparing diner or something, but I want Emily to grow up trusting and loving her mummy as much as her daddy. My hubby loves his little girl as much as I do so why shouldn't he spend quality time with her too? .

Absolutely agree with Nic36 !! My OH has taken our LO out and about from about 5 weeks to the shops, work visit, walk the dogs etc etc. Last week he took her to see his father for the day which is a good hours drive away. Yes I missed her (and him of course) but I too want them to have a special bond like I did with my Dad.

However it's up to the individual, if you don't feel 100% happy about it then say no.

 

[clairebear22]

My OH had to have Jack for 2 days & 2 nights on his own when Jack was 3 weeks old due to me being admitted to hospital. I trusted him implicitly and he did a fantastic job! Although he did call me both mornings to ask what he should dress him in lol. The only time he has him on his own now is when I get my hair cut or need to pop to the shops for something, they have a great time together.

It's entirely up to you, but like he says, it's his baby too x

 

[kaz1983]

Im gonna have to say im in the minority of being uite happy to leave minion with OH whatever age as he is soo xcited to be becoming a daddy Im not gonna take that away fae him by saying no you cant look after minion on your own. I know Im going to be at home for the first year anyway so probably will be around but think I would prob kick him an minion out for a walk while I got on with housework etc

I know im not gonna know what il be like till minion is here but xx

 

[Mrs.s]

Having been in your position I know how hard the thought of your tiny baby being out & about without you and other people handling him and maybe doing things a different way to you however I never let my oh take my LO anywhere without me I couldn't even be in a different room from her for the first three weeks and later when I was ready to go put and leave her or let OH take her out she didn't cope well at all and they both really struggled it took ages for her to be comfortable being left with him and that was my fault! So I would suggest letting your OH take baby out it's good for them to spend time together! I will be leaving my new LO with OH much much sooner this time!

 

[redbear]

God i left LO with DH at three days never mind three weeks! I think if DH didnt take her sometimes i would go mad! I love her but have her all day and all night so the odd hour or two here and there just gives me time to be me and an adult. x

 

[keepontrying]

I spoke with him last night and explained that I could not even describe how or why i felt the way i did, but the thought of the baby being out the house threw me into panic as i would not be there to help control the risks etc. There are some trust issues between us as a couple (he left me at 7 months pregnant and has been staying since baby has been born) its not a way of punishing him but it does make me doubt whether he is ever really able to put anyone before himself... i didnt go into any of that as there was simply no need.
I explained that I needed time, that i wasn't saying never but right now i could'nt handle that! I have waited 12 long years for this child and he really is my little precious miracle so maybe that's affecting how i feel. Im not hqappy right now for anyone to take him anywhere, im happier knowing he is indoors where i have made sure his environment is safe. I know his dad still asks lots of questions about what and how to do things, i dont want all the oldies giving him their ways or old wives tales because things have changed so much over the years - this is evident form the fact that i update my own mother on the ways things are recommended now - and she has had 4 kids!
Anyhow he is waiting for me and we are going together.
In terms of the gym i am going to enroll and have a very easy session (walking/ stretching etc)
Thanks for your responses x

 

[benjis mum]

Glad you've talked and come to a compromise.

 

[prettypenguin]

Glad he's hears your side of things and stayed patient, thats the beat thing he coyld have done really to earn.your trust quicker hope it goes well x