Am I over reacting?

[JSS]

(Liam is 20 weeks old)

I had a conversation with oh parents a few weeks ago and told them that I'm trying to keep Liam away from sugary foods yogurts etc...certainly no chocolate (this was after oh sister tried to feed him choc from the chocolate fountain!! ) His dad kinda rolled his eyes when I said it.

Well last night I was in oh parents house with the whole family... and he stuffed a huge bit of chocolate in his mouth for him to lick. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw it.... I asked him not to do it..3 times and OH asked him too and he completly ignored us.. and carried on..saying to Liam... tell your mum to pick her broomstick up on the way out the door!"

To be honest Im fuming that he ignored me. I seriously didn't want Liam having chocolate especially at this age.

When we left I told OH that I was annoyed at what he had done and he just shrugged it off saying "Its only a bit of chocolate"

What do you think I should do. I'm worried about them looking after him now in case they give him more. Am I over reacting?

 

[leckershell]

I wouldn't have been happy either tbh, they should respect you and your choices as he is your son. I don't know how to make the situation better, but not nice and no I'd feel exactly the same, if there was something I specifically asked them not to do and then they did it anyway I'd be fuming.

 

[Nicky_Jones]

OMG I don't think you are over-reacting. Esp as Chocolate contains cows-milk and they mustn't have it under 6 months. If my in-laws did that I wouldn't visit again.

 

[Misslarue]

No you are not overeacting!!! I go through the same thing ALL the time, having to explain how I raise my own child I won't let Dan have any sweets or chocolate. I've been called loads of stuff just because I won't let him eat chocolate. As far as I am concerned he is 9 months old FFS, it has very little nutritional value and what he's never had he won't miss. I will let him have as a treat when he is old enough to know what it is. All my family know how I am yet I was out for dinner the other week and my stepmum fed him a deep fried chip
Don't let them look after him if they don't follow your instructions. They shouldn't even question your methods. I know how annoying this is as I am sick of defending myself to people too!

 

[JSS]

It's unbelievable.....

All I get from him is... "It didn't do our lot any harm!".. (they had 7 kids and know it all of course!)

I wouldn't dream of questioning someones choices for their baby. Can't they see that I'm doing it for his own good? He goes crazy for fruit puree and thats the way I want it to stay. Im not about to start introducing crap as treats at this age.

I know it probably sounds silly but I wanted to be the one who gave Liam his first bit of chocolate when he was older... he has ruined that now. I know you can't keep kids away from sweets forever but at 4 months I don't think its too much to ask!

It makes me so angry. If he does it again I will be ready for him!

OH said he is going to say something to them the next time they look after him. I trust his mum 100% but its his dad thats the biggest pain. She was mortified at what he was doing...

 

[Rubys mummy]

You arent over reacting at all, I have asked mine and OHs parents not to give her chocolate, and I suspect my mum has as I found a photo of Ruby on my mums camera the other days with her with choccie all round her mouth I told mum I really dont want her to have any unless we choose to give it to her.

Its a tricky one.....

 

[Freya]

Maybe you are overreacting a bit. I only say that because I would have been the same with my first child but as time has gone on and now on child number 2 - a bit of chocolate isn't really going to hurt anyone - and sometimes silent feuds can do more damage to the family than a bit of chocolate to a baby if you see what I mean.

I am not saying they are right to do what they are doing BUT I am saying that sometimes you have to let certain things go over your head otherwise you could cause huge upset.

Your DH is probably also upset but feels that he is stuck between you and your familyl and I think men are more useless at confronting their parents than we are ours- don't ask me why.

 

[kellie80]

No your definatly not over reacting. I'd go mad myself. Luckily no one in my family (apart from SIL) would just do that in front of me. Its really not on, he is not old enough for chocolate but that aside they really should let you decide what he eats. My SIL some times can be like that and OH rings her up before we go round and say I'll only bring the kids with me if you don't feed them crisps . It works with her anyway. I didn't really want my 8 month old eating a whole bag of quavers again.

 

[weenik]

I don't think you're over reacting either, I would go mental if someone gave Dylan chocolate when I told them not to. I've got a feeling my mum will try to sneak him a bit before I'm ready to give it to him so I'll be having a word when I put him on solids to warn her!

 

[Xena]

You're definitely not overreacting hun - nobody has the right to undermine you - you're his mother!

Especially as at 4 months a lot of babies are still purely on formula or breastmilk, let alone eating junk food!

I'd be well pissed off if it were me.

 

[OopsyDaisy]

Definitely not over-reacting! I would be upset if that happened to me. I think that it's not just the issue over the chocolate, it's the complete disrespect shown by the FIL, and it doesn't help when the OH doesn't stand up for you either. I'm in a similar situation, my MIL always thinks her ways or raising kids are correct and DH won't say anything, so it's got to the point where I don't trust leaving my baby alone with the in-laws at all.

 

[Lou]

I'd have a quiet word with that man if I were you. Not just about the chocolate and taking no notice of you but talking about you getting your broomstick on the way out the cheeky bugger! You don't want anyone to be disrespectful to you infront of your family. I asked my mum and dad to stop buying Isaac quavers and choccy buttons because me and Jar decided we didnt want Isaac to have them. Some of Isaac's friends eat sweets and sugary biscuits but I control what goes in his diet not other people. I think its the generation gap alot of the time. When I was little my mum smoked around me and my sisters and I sat on her lap in the front seat every saturday night while my dad drove us home pissed from being down the pub all afternoon! They dont smoke around Isaac, he is always in a car seat and my dad wouldn't drink and drive now in a million years. Things were alot different when we were young. No excuse though I know.

Lou

 

[roxanne]

No you're not over-reacting! I have similar problems with my bloke's nan, because she had 10 kids she knows it ALL, and she does annoying things like getting Dylan out of his moses basket when he's fast asleep, drives me mad!

 

[kalia]

I misread your post at first and thought you said he was 20 months old and I didn't think you were over reacting then. Then I realised he's 20 weeks Like you say, at his age fruit puree is very exciting He would not have been asking for chocolate in any way so feeding him chocolate was completely unnecesary.

I am impressed that you didn't explode - I certainly would have with the lack of respect you were being shown, both being critisised as a mother and insulted as a person. I wouldn't be going round for social visits anymore, that's for sure! If they're going to ignore what is best for your child with you there and insult you it wouldn't be worth the stress! If your OH is anything like mine, he'd hardly see his parents if it weren't for me organising things. Or alternatively say you will leave if they treat you like that again, taking LO with you.
I think you could use some of these

 

[Squiglet]

I don't think your over reacting... !!!!! And at 20 weeks... that's just not right.

Tia's 8 years old... and it still annoys me when she goes to my mums and she give her a chocolate sandwich for tea, followed by some of those chocolate kinder eggs, followed by an ice cream... So I she comes back to us, high as a kite.... I mean, why don't they just give her some speed while they are at it...

I have to give you loads of these Because tbh its really hard dealing with parents over these issues. Funny thing is I know my parents were very strict over what I ate at Tia's age... but because they are now Grandparents its their "right" to spoil her... when really they should be giving her at least decent meals.... rather than well... crap... ! I've mentioned it loads of times to my mum but she doesn't listen.. on the upside... I have instilled good eating in Tia and she is very aware that grandma feeds her "crap" (and she uses that word ) but she comes home and has good food...

I am positive that you will do the same with your little one and he will be much happier for it..

 

[trixipaws]

no ur not over reacting! even if he was right that its ok to give chocolate at that age (which it isnt- it contains cows milk for a start), he had no right to go against ur wishes. i would be fuming too.