I am soooooo upset & absolutely raging! Am I over-reacting (about OH's Friend)

[littlemiss83]

Ok, so...i've had a bit of a shit time recently, worked all way thro pregnancy in my stressful job, had LO, moved house & then dealt with LO's health problems (reflux) & now, i'm kinda just.....I duno, not myself, I cant be arsed doing anything, I just wana survive each day & get thro it, I cant even put it into my mind to have a bath or put on nice things to wear, I wear the same shit every day & my confidence is absolutely 0. I hate going out now, I really duno how i'm gona manage going back to work. i go in a total huff if I need to go out the house to the shop. I'm just not myself anyway....

OH has this friend who's older..he's in his 50s (OH is 29) & this guy...R...has kids same age as me & he also has a very young daughter, who is 10 & plays with my eldest. His wife takes 10yo to school every day & is an absolute gossip, I always knew this about her, but didn't bother coz we didn't live near her (when we moved we moved to their street, was a co-incidence) anyway......she must've been gossiping about my lack of self esteem ect. Her man. R is a jack the lad, trying to crack the jokes all the time type of guy, so he's going...you just sit on that f*king laptop all day dont you, your a f*king shit mum, look at you, you've not even got any self esteem you cany even be arsed to put decent clothes on, you cany be bothered doing f*all can you. When was the last time you went out...eh? and he went on like that, this is the way he goes on with everyone. He goes wayyy too deep but kinda gets away with it. But im fuking raging coz obvs his wife has been away gossiping about how I look at the school, coz R said, i never make an effort & i never see him only his wife. I am so fuking raging I wana storm round to her. Her family is a fuking riot, far from perfect. Then he starts saying really horrible stuff about my parents, I dont get on with them & he knows this & starts saying their posh arseholes & all that sort of stuff , Im so upset, I duno what to ever say back to this guy, everyone who knows him just lets it fly over their head, maybe i'm just over sensitive. I'm gona tell OH when he gets back I do not wana be in his company again. I dont know who im more fuming at him or his wife. Plus he was kinda slagging eldest LO saying...you cant swim cant you not,ur mummy should have been taking u swimming, i was like...how do u know she cant swim & he didn't know what to say but his wife took her swimming the other week & she runs the swimming club & was obvs bitching about how my LO cant swim arrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh im fuking raging. Sorry, im ranting here.

No need to reply i feel better just typing that...

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[katie_lou]

Hun I hope ur ok.... Ignore these horrible people there not worth it xx

 

[Lilelephant]

W**nkers I have been feeling down low self esteem etc and no way does that make u a shit mum!

Xxxxx

 

[LaurenMM]

I don't think you're overreacting at all hun. I'd be raging too. I'm not surprised you're feeling the way you do hun having to deal with so much but by the sounds of it you're doing amazing. I'm so sorry I'm shit with adivce hun is there anyone who could take care of the LOs for a bit while you have some time to yourself? Big hugs x

 

[prettypenguin]

What an idiot?!

I assume he's gone now but I'd just not bother seeing him, make a concious effort to avoid him, and if you end up.seeing his wife...well I would just make it blatantly obvious how I feel about what she's said and be completely off, it really bugs me when people judge you on your appearance especially after having a baby you don't get time to sit fannying about with your hair. My oh used to make comments about me looking like a scruff and it just knocked all my confidence out of me, its not the end of the world if you don't step out looking like a barbie doll and anyone who's been in your situation will look at you and understand, not judge. Keep your head held high, cause some ppl out there prob do look like a Barbie doll but I bet they don't put as much time and effort into their kids as you do! You'll be back to your old self in your own time stuff everyone else x

 

[Bunnykins]

What a nob, what right has he to joke about you like that and about such sensitive subjects, sounds like a bully to me. I'm always a bit suspicious of people with young Lo's who manage to be dolled up to the nines ALL the time cos to do that takes time, and personally I'd rather spend that time with my Lo being a good mum! Dont get me wrong a bit of pride in your appearance can do you the world of good and most days I'll put some light make up on and brush my hair lol but there are a lot of days where my lo needs my attention more than my mirror does. So your appearance has f*** all to do with your abilities as a mum, and I'd have let rip at him and his wife!!

On a side note how your feeling about not wanting to leave the house and how you dont feel yourself, that described me and how I felt last year, I went to the docs and he said because I was dealing with a lot of stress id run my tank dry of serotonin and he put me on citalopram for a couple of months to top it back up, I swear I felt like my old self again. I'm not saying you need tablets but I do think you should talk to the Dr as they can help you feel better even if its just by giving you some advice xxxxxxx

 

[littlemiss83]

I'm just so upset...everything has rolled into the one here & thats how I duno if im over-reacting. Coz of being so down in general I duno if its clouded my judgement. He's always like this, he calls you all sorts of names ect. He'll always come in & be like....ffs you still sitting on that fking laptop, get in there & make me tea you lazy bitch, you been ignoring those kids all day too, then when I say anything back he laughs as if to say...ive won, My OH says, dont argue back, just ignore him, he says only reason he's like that is coz i argue back & explain myself.

I'm fuking raging, I didn't go to a friends b.day party & this woman knows this, she sees me like shit every morning, so she's obvs been sitting saying to her man....i see that michelle she always looks like shit & she's so depressed she cant go to party. I was ready for fuking getting right in about it tonight with him I swear to god, there is sooooooo much stuff i wana slag him about. His wife cant cook, he has to be home by 4pm every day coz she cant even put chips in an oven & his daughter who's 26 she has 4yo with ex & lives round corner but goes there for every meal, her mum has to buy her milk every morn so girl can get cereal & she's got pg again to the ex & they're gona help look after the baby. Her mum even makes her fone calls for her, its fuking rediculous. Oh yeah & eldest daughter gets wrecked drinks 1ltr of vodka smokes joints then goes out in her car to pick up guys from fuking 2 hours away!!!!! She comes in (to a house I was at) bouncing off the walls after just bombing it down the motorway!!! She's a joke but can i slag him for this....no i bloody well cant, i need to sit there like a knob while he slags me.

Soz ladies.......immmm fummmmmmmmmingg



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[littlemiss83]

What a nob, what right has he to joke about you like that and about such sensitive subjects, sounds like a bully to me. I'm always a bit suspicious of people with young Lo's who manage to be dolled up to the nines ALL the time cos to do that takes time, and personally I'd rather spend that time with my Lo being a good mum! Dont get me wrong a bit of pride in your appearance can do you the world of good and most days I'll put some light make up on and brush my hair lol but there are a lot of days where my lo needs my attention more than my mirror does. So your appearance has f*** all to do with your abilities as a mum, and I'd have let rip at him and his wife!!

On a side note how your feeling about not wanting to leave the house and how you dont feel yourself, that described me and how I felt last year, I went to the docs and he said because I was dealing with a lot of stress id run my tank dry of serotonin and he put me on citalopram for a couple of months to top it back up, I swear I felt like my old self again. I'm not saying you need tablets but I do think you should talk to the Dr as they can help you feel better even if its just by giving you some advice xxxxxxx

Thats really interesting, i never knew that could happen. I dont feel depressed so to speak, I feel majorly stressed & duno how to deal with it.

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[Bunnykins]

Yep I wasn't exactly suffering depression but more that I'd been dealing with such high level of stress my body couldn't cope and had used up all the serotonin I could make and all my reserve stocks as well (probably more scientific than that but its how I remember him explaining it lol!) so this had left me feeling not myself at all, I was literally just getting thru each day, had no interest in anything including myself, I felt like a zombie. I was sceptical of being 'medicated' with anti depressants but he explained that the tablets themselves wouldn't give me false feelings or 'make' me happy, all it would do would be to refill my tank, and as a result my body would then be able to work as normal again, and after a couple of months I'd be back to feeling myself and could come off the tablets and I'd be fine!

 

[LoopyLouize]

Gosh ! No wonder your angry! I would have felt like grabbing a frying pan and slapping the pair across the face with it! ( I'm not violent lol honest! )

Don't listen to what they have said! They obviously have forgotten what it's like to have a young baby!

X

 

[Bunnykins]

I also forced myself on lots of walks and took up running and this helped too as it helps your body produce serotonin naturally! Your Dr might be able to help you with your stress levels, they have all sorts of advice.

As for your oh's mate your defo not overreacting, who even talks to people like that??? it shouldn't matter if he's trying to be funny its just plain rude and bad mannered and id be telling him and his wife a few home truths!!! If he joked to me about being on my laptop I'd not try explain myself I'd just say has your daughter killed anyone with her drunk driving yet ha ha ha just joking, see how he likes it.

 

[prettypenguin]

Was gonna say the same, maybe say something like, 'oh is it 4 o clock yet? Can't be missing your kurfew or she will have burnt the house down, does it not get annoying having to go back home early cause your own wife can't even make you a meal?' Something like that. I'm always suspicious of dolled up mums, either they have heaps of help or cbeebies on constantly, that'd be me if I got dolled up takes me half an hour sort my lions mane out. Sounds like this guy is insecure of his own life so has to make fun of everyone elses x

 

[Bunnykins]

Was gonna say the same, maybe say something like, 'oh is it 4 o clock yet? Can't be missing your kurfew or she will have burnt the house down, does it not get annoying having to go back home early cause your own wife can't even make you a meal?' Something like that. I'm always suspicious of dolled up mums, either they have heaps of help or cbeebies on constantly, that'd be me if I got dolled up takes me half an hour sort my lions mane out. Sounds like this guy is insecure of his own life so has to make fun of everyone elses x

Couldn't have said it better myself!!!!!

 

[littlemiss83]

Thanks ladies.

Im thinking i really need to sort myself out & show those arseholes. This guy is actually a good help with things around the house, he's a joiner & does everything that OH cant do & doesn't moan but he can stick it.

I thought i'd been sneaking to the skl & back every morning not being noticed she's obviously clocked me & decided to gossip. Everyone says she's a gossip even her own family. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - i'll be getting a good gossip about her when OH gets home.

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[prettypenguin]

Do what YOU want, don't make the effort just for them as they'll know theyre getting to you, do it for you and look fab and then you can just walk past and laugh in her sad, shitty cook face lmao. Women are horrible at times. She's prob jealous cause she's old and going through the menapause lol.


Also would like to point out there is nothing wrong with letting kids watch cbeebies lol, Charlie watches a few programs but I meant literally sticking them in a bouncer in front of the tv all day x (he can't go more than a few days without seeing his true love de Li from waybuloo lol) x

 

[hesty14]

Did not want to read and run but I'm rubbish at advice!

You are absolutely right to be fuming and you should mention it to OH. No one has the right to speak to anyone like that. It is tough being a mum and getting out the house is a challenge let alone in full make up with hair done. Most days I only manage some light makeup (I hate my skin so have to cover it) and hair in a pony tail. I have to plan if I need to wash my hair & straighten it.

Have a chat with the Dr it HV about how you are feeling though.

Xx

 

[Rachaellius]

Eurrgh people like this annoy me. Just because he's a bit of a jack the lad and gets away with it with other people doesn't mean he should get away with saying such hurtful things. I have an uncle like this he calls it 'speaking his mind' in my opinion he's just plain rude. I spoke my mind back to him once and he didn't like it one bit. Just give him as good as you get, that'll shut him the fuck up.
Sorry I ranted a bit there lol, he just reminded me of my uncle!

Hope your okay hun xxx

 

[littlemiss83]

I find that I am isolating myself more & more. All the friends I had have turned out to be not so much friends as I thought. Every woman I meet likes to have a gossip & I cant seem to escape the gossip therefore i'm losing friends & not making any more.

I did slag R about his wife last time, but he just laughs & joins in about how useless he is. Or he says uch, I know. Or just sits & laughs coz iv caught his bait. Why cant I just sit back & ignore. Fuking sick of ppl right now, why cant ppl just be nice.

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