Am I doing a bad thing? Updated:31stDec:

[lauramumof2]

There is no way i would be taking Hannah in the same situation if your mum hasnt made a move in over six months then i think she is telling you where you stand hun, get on and enjoy your baby, her loss not yours

I agree with mary,she must know you have had the baby. Its bad enough she was a bad mother to you so dont give her the chance to be a bad grandmother.

She can buy the other one all the pressies in the world but if she is superficial, what do they matter.

You are doing a fab job, dont be bothered with her.

 

[cloud9]

We are in a simular situation withOH's mom..we fell out when pg pver things she said..We sent her a card when D was born she sent a card back but no further contact tillOH contacted her and said lets sorth this out.

She has now seen D a couple of tims and i bite my lip when she explains to Oh how she has shown me how to change a nappy on the lap etc etc but i just bear in mind it is D's grandma and A's mom and let her do her own thing on the other hand i wouldn't let my lother within a million miles so i haven't voted

it is hard though rejection form your mom no matter what so this is for you

 

[Sherlock]

My own personal experience is with my father. I've not spoken to him or seen him for over 8 years now. Long story but he had my entire childhood and beyond to sort it out and didn't. I've never had an apology and in the end felt I really didn't need or want him in my life. My mother remarried a number of years ago and her husband, my stepfather is a truly wonderful man and never had kids of his own. I want him to be our child's grandfather, not my own father. He is over the moon and so thrilled its unreal My mother is very happy about this decision also I can tell you.

I have a wonderful half sister I am in touch with and her son, my nephew. And a half brother, although I don't know him so well as he is 12 years younger than me. Both from my fathers second marriage.

I am expecting my first child in May. I long ago decided my father would play no part in my childs life at all. He does not even know I am expecting. Or that I got married last year. None of it. My sister won't tell him, he doesn't ask about me anymore.

I don't feel for one second our child will be missing out by not knowing a blood grandparent. OK, s/he will have my step father, so it slightly changes things, but I'm happy with the choice, my hubby supports me in it and our child will be shown much love by those who do play a part in his/her life. I'd rather that than suffer my father playing a part when he really has done nothing to make me think he a) deserves to or b) wants to.

I think you should really consider if you feel your child will be missing out? And if your mother is going to continue to be awkward, mean or whatever, should you inflict that on your child? If it were me, I'd say no. You've opened the door, so long as you leave it open, send cards on birthdays etc its up to her to make the effort then. Your son has people around him who love him A Granny would be lovely, but only is she is going to be a proper Granny and embrace the whole picture, not just a part of it.

 

[Squiglet]

In the end I sent a Christmas card from Isaac, and a photomug with a Christmas pic of Isaac on it saying Merry Christmas. In response, I got a text Christmas Day saying, 'Merry 1st Christmas Isaac, Nana loved her card and prezzie", that's it, so was a bit upsetting hearing what she'd got my lil bro's son for Christmas Think I'm leaving it there, I opened the door in my opinion, she couldn't even send him a card

awww hun.... You did open the door, she shut it... that means in the years to come you have no guilt on your conscience over this. If she can't even send a card then she's not a real grandma.

Tbh, I'm surprised you're related to her... you seem like such a wonderful mother!!!

 

[Tangerinedream]

 

[loz]

I dont feel that I can advise but was the reason you fell out in character with her personality or was it out of the blue? I guess if she is the type of person who can never admit that she is wrong then you know she wont come to you to apologise. Do you want to have a relationship with her again? It will be hard for you if your son is close to her, but you arent? I guess you could test the waters and send her a letter with a photo like has been suggested already and just say that you dont want to stop her from seeing LO but have been hurt by her. Maybe meet somewhere neutral? If she doesnt respond then she obviously doesnt deserve you all in her life. A difficult one, but the longer it goes on the worse it will get I guess. x

 

[mrs_tommo22]

You should have no guilt on your consience now, you opened a doorway and she slammed it shut in your face!

You and Issac are better off without her in your lives - keep your lives happy and simple without her.

 

[Redshoes]

Thankyou everyone, thankyou Squiglet that means a lot you'd say so I cannot really explain why we stopped being in touch because families aren't that explainable, but in a nutshell she hates my Dad and he came home from being abroad and I simply informed my brother and she took it to mean I was in 'cahoots' with my Dad I really didn't DO anything to her, and she told me to stay away from her, and I was just in my first Tri with Isaac.

Still, it's now that matters and still she is acting like this so I feel very sorry for her, as well as mad at her, in years to come when looking at Isaac's 1st Christmas cards, he won't have one from her Thankfully Isaac has lots of people in his life who love him, and I respect and feel blessed for having them Thankyou again for the replies, and lovely comments too