Am I being stupid?

[xXxBonnyxXx]

So I just get back from holiday and went to see my mum and my sister and her 2 kids,
My sister then suddenly out of the blue asks me if I want to be her birthing partner when she has another baby as she has just stopped taking the pill.

She already has 2 children and is struggling with them in a 2 bedroom flat, everything for her is a struggle and she doesn't seem to want to do anything with the kids.
She doesn't even take them out into the gardens at the flat as she says her youngest - who is now 3 - will only run off into the road. My thinking is that if she doesn't ever take her down there then how on earth does she learn what is right and what is wrong.

So anyways I'm now in month 4 of TTC and I wanted it to be special when I have a baby. I want to be the only one with a new born to feel all the love and attention that she has already had twice.
My mum always gives her loads more attention and I guess I'm just jealous.

I said yes first of all to her about the birth thing but now I'm not so sure.
I want to be the one that is asking people to be with me at my birth not the other way around,

Do I sound like a complete Bitch or am I just being stupid?

None of my family know we are ttc.

 

[Emmamb]

I know eactly how u feel,there's 3 months between my youngest son and my sisters daughter,I always felt like I got a back seat once skyla was born,my mum always comment on matty's behaviour and how I need more control over him and refuses to have him overnight,even tho my niece is a stroppy little madam my mum has her all the time. My parents looked after my youngest the other evening (at my house) and actually said that he'd been good as gold 4 them,ha!! Anyway,wen I was ttc my youngest sis announced that she wants another later this year,even tho jess is only 6 months old and neither of them work. My other sis also wants another even tho they struggle 4 money wiv the 2 they have...I just feel like screaming....let me have my time!!!!

 

[Mrs_B]

I can understand why you feel that way hun, not sure what I can say to help. Lets hope that you get your bfp very soon so that it is you needing the birthing partner first!

 

[xXxBonnyxXx]

I'm hoping that the longer cycle for me so far this month is a good sign,

Can't wait to do my temps tomorrow now to see whether they are the same or if I have a drop. Fingers crossed the BD yesterday will be a good start for the little swimmers to be where they need to!

I am just willing myself to get PG before her, I know it sounds a bit harsh but I want to have all of the attention on me for a while!!!

 

[serenitylove]

its a hard one when i had my dd my sil was 4months ahead of me and this time my other sil who i dont like is 3weeks behind me gona be an intresting time! i can totally understand how you feel but i think once your pg you wont give a stuff what she is doing all you will care about is your lil one fingers crossed for you xxx

 

[NatEvz]

I totally understand why you feel this way Bonny, I think id feel the same too. It will be your turn soon and you will have the most important thing of all, a baby to love and your own family to care about. Like serenity love said you wont give a stuff about what your sister is doing then. It will be your turn soon hun xxx

 

[Binzy]

Totally know what you mean, when I got married my colleague got married big style a week before and everyone was always talking about her and I felt a bit left out. Now she's TTC too and always on about it and I've not told anyone, and although it's pathetic of me I so want to be pregnant first!

 

[xXxBonnyxXx]

Thanks girls - I was just having a weak moment today I think!

I just want my parents to give me all the things that they give to her - But they wont if she is PG first - she will get it all - and they will say but you have a good job and she doesn't work,

Oh well - at least I will be able to say that I gave my baby everything myself!

 

[NatEvz]

Thats it hun, keep your chin up xxx

 

[ema-lou24]

i know how your feeling bonny, when i found out i was pregnant with my LO my mum told me i was a stupid wee lassie and to "get rid of it" nowadays you wouldnt think it cos they are like 2 peas in a pod!
but then my sis fell preggers a wee while ago and there was tears and congratulations...i was like WTF???

she had a little boy and my son is now 7 and im TTC number 2...my sister hasnt mentioned about TTC yet as her son is only gonna turn 2 in december, but i really hope i get my BFP before her..so i know how youtr feeling.

theres more to it than the above, but im not gonna over take your thread lol xx

 

[xXxBonnyxXx]

I don't mind if you take over my thread hun!

My parents basically bought (and still buy) so much stuff for my sisters kids, both of my brothers have got children and they didn't and still don't get half as much stuff as what my sisters get,
I can see why my brothers are a bit pissed off about it all to be honest,

My sister is always at my parents house because she can't be bothered to do anything with the kids herself, and when my brothers want to go to my parents with their children they are told not to.

I guess the whole thing just isnt very fair - and I've tried talking to my mum about my sister always being there and she just turns around and says oh.

I even said to my sister about being at mums again when I phoned to talk to my mum and she answered the phone, she keeps clothes and nearly all of the kids toys at my mum's too - anyone visiting their house thinks that my mum has got a toddler!

and as horrible as it is to say but I think there are other reasons as to why she wants another baby - so she doesn't have to go to work, so she gets more priority on the council list for a house, so she gets more attention from people,

I wouldnt have a problem with it if she actually spent time with her children at the moment and I could say that they were having a happy childhood. They are naughty when they are stuck indoors all the time - as soon as they get to actually do something they are as good as gold.

Ok - so I thought I was just a little annoyed - turns out I needed to have another rant!!!