Am I being a bad sister? ( Pregnant sister...)

[scandicmum85]

My sister is 8 weeks pregnant and I had m/c this summer, today she had her scan and its a fully healthy baby and she is so happy, im so happy for her too but at same time I feel so upset, getting more sure of its something wrong with me to have a baby, I just feel so upset as she is getting more and more pregnant. I help her out alot as she is very sick with morning sickness, and I hear her complaining about being preganant when I just would anything more than else be pregnant right now or wish I still was.. I get so down And I feel so selfish! I can´t stop thinking of how far I could have been today .... But its not right is it?

 

[Rebecca27]

You are not selfish. I really feel for you it must be so hard. There is nothing I can say to make it better, keep positive and I am sure you will moaning about morning sickness with her before you know it. Stay strong xxx

 

[isobel84]

i think its just natural to feel like that but you have to remember that its not your sisters fault that you had a MC (im so sorry that you had)

My oldest sister had been trying for 2 years when they decided to pay LOADS of money for IVF. It failed and 2 month after i had to tell her i was pregnant, i was on the pill. It was so hard to tell her.
Im sure she was really upset about it but she never showed me and i always felt she was happy for me. when i was 16 weeks she called me and told me the second IVF had worked and shes now 30 weeks pregnant.
i really dont mean to sound like your wrong to be upset, but i think to keep a happy face infront of your sister, she will need suport and feel that she can talk to you without it being to akward..

i really hope you get pregnant soon hun XX

 

[scandicmum85]

yes thank you for sayng this, I do feel so selfish I asked her not to show the ultrasound picture Hope she dont get too offended by it but im just so affected by this still... I had 3 miscarriages since I had my girl and last ultrasound it was no good.. I know she been trying for so long time and the funny thing is she says she isnt that happy about pregnant (she is doing it more for her husband than herself).... I keep saying she should be so happy etc.. x

 

[rachaellouise]

You are not selfish, I think what you are feeling is completley natural!
I am so sorry to hear of your MC's how awful for you!
I think maybe you should explain to your sister how you are feeling, maybe have a girlie heart to heart about how you are so happy for her but you are still deeply affected by your recent miscarrage and that you do not want her to feel that you are not happy for her you are just in all honestly having a bit of a hard time dealing with it.
Baby dust to you for a sticky seed!

 

[LouiseB]

Yvonne, is this the same sister that said those horrid things to you when you was ttc? Wasn't she trying for years and years to get pregnant too? Or is this another sister?

I think that your feelings are perfectly natural, but if it is the same sister that was ttc for years, then maybe you should cut her some slack considering that you already have a child.

I don't think your feelings make you selfish, but expressing them by not wanting to see her ultra sound etc does seem really selfish to me. It's like you want her to feel badly for you instead of being allowed to be glowing. She is your sister afterall, it isn't some random child she is carrying - it's your neice/nephew and you'll be amazed how much love you can feel for it. I love my nephew and i hardly see him.

It made you feel bad when she said mean things to you and i thought you would be better than that.

When you was ttc before your m/c you only saw hubby like a couple of times at all throught your cycle - nevermind when you was ovulating! - and you still got pregnant.

Plus you already have your daughter...

I really believe it is just a matter of time for you before you get a sticky one

 

[flexilexi394]

youre not selfish. I fully agree with you on the fact that you are trying and it does just happen for some people. i wasnt planning on a pregnancy at all but here i am! i think also being pregnant really does make you feel like shit, so cut her a little slack but apart from that dont feel bad, it will happen for you.xxx

 

[resku]

If you're helping out your sister through her morning sickness, you're definately not being selfish

I feel you frustrations, but stay focus and believe that your day WILL come