Alcoholism

[x-kirsty-x]

Ok, its not like me to make a thread about something so personal but I just want some advice. I know its gonna be long so Im sorry, if you read it all then thank you!

Ever since I was younger I've known that my dad enjoys a drink - he drinks on a daily basis and always has done. Only in the house though, he never goes to the pub or anything.

He works full time as a double glazing fitter, he's had the same job for over 25 years and he works damn hard and would never drink before work or while at work.

But as soon as he gets in on a night he's onto the cans. Its the same at weekends, him and my mum usually go out and about on the morning but as soon as they're home and he doesnt have to drive anymore he's straight onto the beer. We're talking about early afternoon he starts When I couldnt drive and used to want lifts to my mates houses or whatever I could never ask him cos he'd been drinking. Even now if I need something picking up in his van I have to make sure he aint been drinking first, its not normal!

Now dont get me wrong, he hardly ever drinks to the point where he's really drunk, most of the time he just ends up slightly tipsy. On a weekend its different and there have been times when he's hardly been able to walk

I can remember a few times over the years where he has been so drunk he's fallen over or whatever. When I used to live at home I usually heard him being sick on a morning, probably due to the previous nights drink.

I've always told my mam that I think he's got a drink problem but she always says its just cos he works hard and deserves to wind down when he's at home. Deep down though I know she knows he has a problem too.

I just dont know if this means he's an alcoholic or what? Is it even my place to say something to him? We've never been close and I cant talk to him about 'stuff'. Im just worried about him

 

[Flame]

If it really is every single night then i would say he has a problem but obviously he is in denial about it. Maybe a single glass of wine of a night is ok but not cans of beer every night.

I considered myself to have a problem before i got pregnant as i was drinking every other night maybe 2/3 cans or half to a bottle of wine.

There are people you can speak to about this if you are really worried. Also if it has been going on for so long he wont beable to just stop it will be quite a long process.

 

[x-kirsty-x]

If it really is every single night then i would say he has a problem but obviously he is in denial about it. Maybe a single glass of wine of a night is ok but not cans of beer every night.

I considered myself to have a problem before i got pregnant as i was drinking every other night maybe 2/3 cans or half to a bottle of wine.

There are people you can speak to about this if you are really worried. Also if it has been going on for so long he wont beable to just stop it will be quite a long process.

Thank you for replying

He has about 4 cans of the strongest stuff every night. He starts as soon as he gets in from work.

The thing about my dad is is he doesnt want to be helped then no-one (and I mean NO-ONE!!) can get through to him. If he had an accident but felt fine he wouldnt even bother going to hospital, thats how stubborn he is

Anyway, thanks again hun

 

[Fingers crossed]

I know exactly what you are going through, my dad was an alcoholic about 15 years ago and he went to rehab twice. He's ok now but still has the occasional drink. Like your dad mine never drunk before work but soon as he got home he would hit the cans. He even tried to cover it up like taking his can into the bathroom and coughing when he opened it so we couldn't hear it and hiding the cans behind the curtains etc. It is a very tough thing to go through because they don't want to/ or think they have a problem, and if they don't admit it then they can't get help for it. Some alcoholics don't even want help even though they know they have a problem. Have you tried talking to him directly and say you're worried about him? Have another go at talking to your mum too and look at the web for info and show her. Hope everything turns out OK for you and your family

 

[Hellokitty]

Its a very tough topic.

Most people hold very negative views on the 'stereotypical alcoholic' and like most things in life people rarely actually conform to that stereotype.

Your Dad might well know that he has a problem, but doesn't want to do anything about it. Most people wouldn't want to seek medical advice because then its on your record forever more. Sadly that usually means that most will need a health scare before they seriously consider stopping or getting help.

Interestingly there is a book that Doctors use called the BNF, it give information regarding all medicines etc. I remeber reading a paragraph in that book which defined a 'chronic alcohol abuser' as someone regulary consuming more than 30 units of alcohol a week.

When you consider that a large glass of wine can contain up to 3 units thats only 10 glasses a week!

Sadly if you try and talk to him about it he will most likely either laugh it off or get annoyed with you. So the only thing you can do really is be there for support if sometime in the future he decides he's had enough.

 

[Princess_Puddles]

I can really relate to you Kirsty. My Dad is 50 years old, he doesn't have a job as such, he does the odd one here and there and when he does them he doesn't drink but afterwards he will be straight down to the pub and untill closing time it will be pint after pint and has been like that for the past 20yrs. He is an alcholic, he's had 3 marriages broken down & none of us, his six children want to know him, he has never seen his grandchildren, he lives at home and is ££££ is debt and last year he had 3 car crashes due to him being drunk!! He doesn't care, people have tried to help him too but he doesn't want it.
If you ever want to chat I'm always about

 

[x-kirsty-x]

I can really relate to you Kirsty. My Dad is 50 years old, he doesn't have a job as such, he does the odd one here and there and when he does them he doesn't drink but afterwards he will be straight down to the pub and untill closing time it will be pint after pint and has been like that for the past 20yrs. He is an alcholic, he's had 3 marriages broken down & none of us, his six children want to know him, he has never seen his grandchildren, he lives at home and is ££££ is debt and last year he had 3 car crashes due to him being drunk!! He doesn't care, people have tried to help him too but he doesn't want it.
If you ever want to chat I'm always about

Thanks

I dont even know if Im right to worry cos yeah he drinks loads but it doesnt affect his life really, he and my mum have been together for 30 years and like I said he has a good job but he's 54 and I know that drinking cant be doing him any good.

He's a great dad and I love him to bits, apart from the drinking I cant fault him. Im just so scared that one day its gonna take its toll

 

[Princess_Puddles]

[quote="Princess_Puddles":1ga2eg72]I can really relate to you Kirsty. My Dad is 50 years old, he doesn't have a job as such, he does the odd one here and there and when he does them he doesn't drink but afterwards he will be straight down to the pub and untill closing time it will be pint after pint and has been like that for the past 20yrs. He is an alcholic, he's had 3 marriages broken down & none of us, his six children want to know him, he has never seen his grandchildren, he lives at home and is ££££ is debt and last year he had 3 car crashes due to him being drunk!! He doesn't care, people have tried to help him too but he doesn't want it.
If you ever want to chat I'm always about

Thanks

I dont even know if Im right to worry cos yeah he drinks loads but it doesnt affect his life really, he and my mum have been together for 30 years and like I said he has a good job but he's 54 and I know that drinking cant be doing him any good.

He's a great dad and I love him to bits, apart from the drinking I cant fault him. Im just so scared that one day its gonna take its toll [/quote:1ga2eg72]

You are definately right to worry hun if it's an everyday thing. Try and talk to him about it or print off some research, alchoholics will never admit they have a drink problem because they enjoy drinking and don't see it as harming themselves. Drinking everyday will eventually take its toll on anyones body, though it does take years of substantial drink abuse to really harm someone (After 20yrs of drinking all day everyday my Dad's skin is going yellow)

 

[Flame]

It may not be affecting his life now but all the damage that it is doing to his Liver is going to affect him and everyone around him sooner or later unfortunately.