Affairs

[tweetyfoo]

This is may be an odd thread but ...

I am hearing so many stories about people having affairs recently I find it really odd!

A lot of the men I work with openly admit to cheating and affairs (to me not their partners) ... DH phoned me earlier to tell me that two other folk in his work have been caught out (that's the third affair in his workplace)

I can't ever imagine cheating on my husband ... Had the world always been like this and I've been blind to
It?


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

 

[Hope81]

I know none who admitted to have an affair, or been caught to have one !!!
Maybe I live in a bubble lol and no idea why that surprises me...

Mw thinks couples need sort of a seminar about human relationships before they get married...
Too many rushed weddings and relationships and generally people that they are not ready or have the maturity for such a commitment...

 

[EssJayPea]

OH was God father to a friend from work's 2 boys and discovered that he was sleeping with another girl while his wife was pregnant. He totally cut him out after that, as he was disgusted.

Know some women cheat but it's generally men. Think this is due to the fact that we are fundamentally animals (albeit evolved) and the male of the species is almost pre-programmed to sew his oats, so to speak.

Monogamy is a learned trait.

I honestly believe OH wouldn't ever cheat on me, though. Have never had that much faith in a man before, hence why we are starting a family xxx

 

[Rachaellius]

I used to work in a shop with pretty much all men and the way they spoke about women was disgusting a fair few of them were cheating on their wives or girlfriends and would very often be swapping numbers and chatting up customers. It really opened my eyes tbh x

Tapatalking

 

[Jayjay027]

Just the other end of the spectrum...
I know a couple who got married last year 2 days before I got married, they are now going through a divorce because the girls been cheating any time she's gone out and she said that being married makes less men flirt with her! The skank lol. Her husband is rock bottom because of her.

I may be old fashioned, I've never cheated on anyone ever. If I don't wana be with someone, I'll tell them, not cheat.
I couldn't imagine cheating on my husband, and if he cheated on me I'd be broken.
A lot of people don't take marriage seriously - its the celebrity culture lol x

Tapatalking from my blackberry!

 

[tweetyfoo]

In my hubbys work its men and women at it!

I just don't know how people live with themselves

One of the men's wife was dying of cancer and he was shacking up in hotel rooms with another (married) woman, is wife is now dead, and he's still with the mistress.

 

[tiaflame]

Our friends- he was having sex with a 6 month pregnant woman behind his wife's back in their home on the living room carpet!! The pregnant woman was also married- disgusting! Then he went back again after she had the baby!! Xx


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[littlemiss83]

I agree

I have been thinking for the last year or so that there has been ALOT more relationship breakdowns & affairs ect. Its as if ppl dont care anymore. As JayJay said, maybe the celeb culture. Who knows but it worries me!

 

[Butterflykisses]

People seem to think grass is greener and all that. More often than not they're wrong. My neighbour has been seeing married man for over 3 years. He kept saying he was gonna leave his wife. Which he did 6 months ago. But I always said he's had 2 on go for so long he'll need someone to fill that gap. Once a cheat always a cheat. I was proved right when she text to say she caught him with someone else!!!

I couldn't imagine cheating on DH and am confident he wouldn't on me. He knows wot I went thru wen my x was cheating on me and it destroyed me. He also says that anyone who could cheat on his wife after watching her give birth to their child needs head examined

 

[knopk@]

I havent seem alot of people cheat but had a cheating ex so.that was enough for me.
My DH recently said someone high up.in his company was caught out(two of them actually).

I am of the opinion that if you dont want to be with the person - leave.

I am confident DH would never do it and if he did,.he would have his balls ripped off

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[CARNAT22]

When I first met OH a friend of mine began seeing a friend of his... We hung out in a foursome and it was all good fun.

Unbeknownst to me, my friend also started seeing another friend of my OH's and her BF's - it all come out after a few months.....

Even though my friend wasn't in a serious relationship with the first guy she caused so much hassle that even now 5 years later the two guys involved haven't fully repaired their friendship. They has been mates for over a decade before this all happend.

Seeing first hand the damage an affair caused [even in just a casual relationship] was a cautionary tale for me and OH!

xxxxxxxxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

I think there can be a variety of reasons for infidelity and it's not always black and white. It's not always calculated and devious.
For example, I've been in a completely sexless relationship for going on 4 years now. That may sound odd as I am pregnant but I literally had to ask him to get to that point and then give me his goods on ov day iykwim and we haven't had any form of sexual contact since the day I conceived.
This has been an issue for years and one that I have tried to resolve hundreds of timers.
I'm relatively young, love my oh to pieces, love my little family and life is otherwise near perfect.
So what do I do?? Never have sex again for the rest of my life? Leave my oh? Go elsewhere for those needs?
It's hard isn't it.
I don't think you can ever fully know the whole story is all I'm saying xx

 

[LikeJohnnYoko]

I think that people are more likely to discuss them, that due to the media, soaps and gossip mags they have become a lot less taboo.

I would also lay a lot of blame for it at people wanting to change their lives but not wanting to have the big "this isn't working for me" conversation, and so engaging in behaviours that would bring that change in their lives about without them having to make the first step in making those changes.

Based on personal experience, I don't believe things like affairs come along unless part of your mind is open to it.

I wouldn't do that to my husband. I have heard so much more of women cheating than men, but when women cheat it tends to be kept quieter when it all comes out.

 

[tweetyfoo]

I think there can be a variety of reasons for infidelity and it's not always black and white. It's not always calculated and devious.
For example, I've been in a completely sexless relationship for going on 4 years now. That may sound odd as I am pregnant but I literally had to ask him to get to that point and then give me his goods on ov day iykwim and we haven't had any form of sexual contact since the day I conceived.
This has been an issue for years and one that I have tried to resolve hundreds of timers.
I'm relatively young, love my oh to pieces, love my little family and life is otherwise near perfect.
So what do I do?? Never have sex again for the rest of my life? Leave my oh? Go elsewhere for those needs?
It's hard isn't it.
I don't think you can ever fully know the whole story is all I'm saying xx

I understand where you are coming from, and me and DH have discussed the fact that there are probably underlying reasons for all these folk having affairs.

But my own personal opinion on this matter is that if you are not happy in your relationship, to the extent where you need to start something be it sex or otherwise with another person, you should end your current relationship before before going elsewhere (unless its an agreement that you and your OH come to .. which again is a personal choice).

 

[cosmicgirl]

I completely see what you are saying.
Suppose what I'm trying to say is that sometimes all is not what they seem and you never really know what goes on behind closed doors x

 

[tinytoes]

I have never cheated and to my knowledge have never been cheated on and it's never really crossed my mind . However I know that we can never know what's going on behind closed doors and I think I can understand how it happens in certain circumstances .

Recently oh and I had been dealing with a lot of stress and I let someone under my skin and into my head a little bit. I honestly think that if we weren't so strong and that if we hadn't been trying to sort out our relationship at the time that this person may have been more than just a passing thought iykwim ?

 

[cosmicgirl]

Completely understand TT. Relationships are hard at times and life can throw unexpected things at you x

 

[tweetyfoo]

For me though, no matter how hard a relationship is - an affair is not the answer.

If a relationship has a problem, you do whatever you can to try and fix it.

If you can't fix it you have to decide if you can live with it.

If you can't live with it and you can't fix it then there is no relationship - but you end that relationship before moving on to another.

Too many people want to have their cake and eat it too

 

[tinytoes]

For me though, no matter how hard a relationship is - an affair is not the answer.

If a relationship has a problem, you do whatever you can to try and fix it.

If you can't fix it you have to decide if you can live with it.

If you can't live with it and you can't fix it then there is no relationship - but you end that relationship before moving on to another.

Too many people want to have their cake and eat it too

I totally agree that it's not the answer and it's not something that happens in a healthy relationship . Sometimes it's not so simple to throw the towel in and walk away from a relationship even when your unhappy and it's broken beyond repair . I'm desperately in love with my oh faults and all but there have been times when I have been so unhappy that I haven't been able to think straight.
It's in times like that when if it wasn't for the strength of our relationship that I might be inclined to look do that comfort elsewhere ? So I could understand how it could happen to someone in a dark time in a relationship

 

[LoopyLouize]

I will be honest, I've had an affair.. Not behind my current OH's back , it was a while ago behind my ex's back. It was with a married man. *hangs head in total shame*. It was my one of few regrets in life. I told myself at the time that I did it because my ex went behind my back and it was revenge, but thinking back, it wasn't, it was because of my own selfishness! My ex never found out BUT, I left him shortly afterwards anyway (not for married man). It was possibly one of the worst things I've done and the guilt stays with me even now!

I know I know ladies, I'll put my head in the stocks and you can pelt me with rotten tomatoes.

Xxxx