Advice

[Sparklisam]

I've posted here a few times just looking for a bit more advice.

I split from my ex because he didn't make time for his family. Together for 12 years, meant to get married... He cheated ... Year apart got back together ... 2 years after had a baby ... Rebooked wedding ... He didn't want to make time for his family and also retracted wanting to get married.

Basically the whole relationship I compromised and he didn't atall. Even tho he wouldn't make time for his family as work, gym and mates were always top and me and my LO were bottom. I had to almost book out family days with him.

Just felt we deserved better after asking him to make an effort he said ' I can't make promises I can't keep' atleast he was honest.

We have a very amicable relationship we have a good routine with seeing both of us. He sees me for 5 nights and his Dad for 2. Same time every week. Regardless of how hurt I am by all what he's put me through my LO means the world and he should have his Dad in his life.

Basically we have a wedding we have to go to together. It's for a mutual close friend so I will go. Basically I'm crapping myself. I still love this bloke. My emotions won't just go away overnight it's not in my nature to hate him even after everything. I'm just winding myself up about the wedding it will be the longest we have spent in each other's company since splitting 3 months ago. We only have a quick convo when he collects our LO so not really in each other's company a lot. Scared of all the emotions that being together will bring.

I always thought he was my soul mate but it just can't be that way. He won't change and we deserve better but doesn't change how I feel.

Any advice on how to move forward / deal with the whole day together etc. it's gonna be the day after the wedding when I'm gonna be proper emotional as we will be fine in each other's company as we get on. It will be my head that ruins it.

Sorry long post

 

[Quinn1979]

Why do u have to go together if uv split up? Obviously u really want to spend time with him. Is it worth trying to talk before the wedding? If u want him back you can't change that, although id be very careful with your heart it sounds like he hasn't been as sure as u have. Easier said than done if u still love him.

Question here is does he want to try again... I think u need to talk before wedding.

Good luck xc

 

[Sparklisam]

It's a mutual friend between us who personally visited me after we split to ask me to go.

No I definitely don't want to get back together and I don't want to spend time with him more than I have to. My LO has been invited to the wedding too so need to take him along. It's not the wedding it's after I worry about. Just venting as I know our relationship is over as I deserve better but it doesn't mean my emotions and feelings have disappeared xx

 

[Quinn1979]

If that's the way u feel and don't want him back then it will be fine! Be civil, but mix with others throughout the day so ur not spending too much time in his company x

 

[kumber]

If you've been given a plus one, can you bring a friend to support you? Or explain the situation to the couple and ask to bring someone with you?

For the day after the wedding, can you arrange for a babysitter so you can have a few hours to yourself to have a bit of a cry?