Advice on settling baby without dummy...

[Steelgoddess]

Hey everyone...

Im so proud of myself, its been 4 days now since Hay lost the dummy and he is SUCH a good little boy If anything he crys less without it lol!

Anyway im having problems at night im unsure what to do when popping him back in his cot, I have been using CC but if im honest hearing him cry is soul destroying for me and has just made me feel mean.

What other techniques can i use which are kinder to get him off to sleep?

 

[CoreysMummy]

The Pick Up Put Down method... as I understand it -

You put baby down. Baby crys. You pick baby up. Baby stops crying. You put baby down. Baby crys. You pick baby up... etc etc.

I always thought it abit confusing for the baby!

Google - sleeping through the night, see what results it chucks up, I saw some interesting ones a while ago, this one included.

 

[Steelgoddess]

How long does it go on for? then again sometimes cc can go on for a little while...

another thing is should i change his nappy during the night as i wonder sometimes if it bothers him as he was up a little while last night and then as soon as i took his nappy off he was fine but sometimes after changing he'll be wide awake and ready to play eek!!!

 

[CoreysMummy]

Nope, by Hay's age I never changed the nappy in the night... he was always fine. IF he was wet then ofcourse, he got a full change in the dark... im not that mean!!

It could go on for hours I guess... I think choices are limited. ONLY now at 7 months does Corey go down for every nap and bed time without making a peep - I mean not a noise, grabs his pooh bear blankie, and rubs it on his face, and job done! Before then he winged for 3-5mins, not even a proper cry, just letting me know he was un impressed!! He learnt over time thought, that nap time was nap time, and even if he cryed I waas not going to get him out!!

Im evil But Corey is just so perfect now, I couldnt ask for a better baby!!

 

[Steelgoddess]

Nope, by Hay's age I never changed the nappy in the night... he was always fine. IF he was wet then ofcourse, he got a full change in the dark... im not that mean!!

It could go on for hours I guess... I think choices are limited. ONLY now at 7 months does Corey go down for every nap and bed time without making a peep - I mean not a noise, grabs his pooh bear blankie, and rubs it on his face, and job done! Before then he winged for 3-5mins, not even a proper cry, just letting me know he was un impressed!! He learnt over time thought, that nap time was nap time, and even if he cryed I waas not going to get him out!!

Im evil But Corey is just so perfect now, I couldnt ask for a better baby!!

ive met u hon and baby Corey you are not mean and he is lovely. I just think the cc is hard for me to bear mentally cause it makes me feel like why isnt he sleeping iykwim

 

[CoreysMummy]

I know exactly what you mean, it was made alot easyer by the fact that he cried for 18 hours a day from the min he was born, I wish I was exhadurating, because of his reflux (undiagnosed) and his milk allergy (undiagnosed) the poor thing was in aggony, therefore screaming, not sleeping, just crying.

Made it alot easyer for me to use CC because I was used to it, I used to have to go and put him in his crib if I was alone with him all day, just to go outside and get 5 mins piece, then go back in, pick him up and start again!! Once that was all sorted, I used CC and here we are now.

If he crys now (which he never does) it breaks my heart, I cant listen to, as I know its an actual painful or an I want something cry, poor thing, I cant listen to it, so I know exactly what you mean!! I guess I was jsut hardend to it... mabey that was a good thing for me in the end!!

I know you have hun, hes grown so much, then I bet Hay has too!! he was only teeny when I was getting all my cuddles from him!!

We should just be PMing eachother again eh hun

Someone else has to have a few suggestions... Pleaseee!?!?

 

[Sherlock]

I'd say LO was too young for CC. He doesn't understand and has no concept of what its meant to mean or that you are there somewhere. You leave the room he has no understanding that you are coming back or that you are downstairs or elsewhere. He just thinks you are gone. The understanding about you leaving a room and coming back will happen when he is older. CC is intended to be used on babies who are older.

I'd go with a mobile that plays gentle music when he goes into his cot. Anytime of the night. Also to go with the skin on skin contact to help him settle. I used to rest my hand on Galen's head and gently hum or sing along to the mobile. Then as he settled I'd take my hand away and let the mobile take over. I'd leave the room but if he cried I'd go back and start over. Made sure to not make eye contact, have bright lights or talk to him when doing this. Just would go to the end of the cot, stroke his head, soothe him and leave. Gradually over a few days I stopped with the skin on skin and just leave it to the mobile. I never used CC once and although he might fuss as he settled off to sleep on occasion I was always nearby and never left him to cry. I recognised the 'going off to sleep' cry to the other crys where he needed and wanted Mummy near him.

 

[Steelgoddess]

I'd say LO was too young for CC. He doesn't understand and has no concept of what its meant to mean or that you are there somewhere. You leave the room he has no understanding that you are coming back or that you are downstairs or elsewhere. He just thinks you are gone. The understanding about you leaving a room and coming back will happen when he is older. CC is intended to be used on babies who are older.

i didn't want to leave him but my partner says i should let him cry sometimes... Feel bad now, can i rectify with lots of love and cuddles?

 

[CoreysMummy]

Ooh, Sharne, that sounds perfect for you!! Very soothing to Hayden too

That or I was looking at the kissing method... you kiss baby until he falls asleep - how cute. You stop if hes not winging etc, but if he is you kiss them!! Bless... I shoudl have tried that one!!

 

[Sherlock]

i didn't want to leave him but my partner says i should let him cry sometimes... Feel bad now, can i rectify with lots of love and cuddles?

Awww hun don't feel bad. Your LO is loved and I am sure is cuddled loads already. Don't fret

CC isn't really for babies so small and I'd always go with other options rather than leaving them to cry at this age. They cry for a reason, even if its only they want to know someone is close by. As he gets older and learns things he'll have different crys and you'll soon pick up the ones you can wait a bit on before going to him. But for now I'd say if he cries, go see him. Even if you don't want to pick him up to cuddle him you can soothe him in other ways. Of course give it a minute or two to see if he will settle, but if he starts really crying and stirring then I'd say go to him. Its no point you both being unhappy and upset.

I hated not being able to cuddle Galen as much as I wanted but because of my health problems it was impossible for me to do to. Hence me having to resort to him settling in his basket from a small age and then in his cot as he got older. I found the things I suggested worked for us. Galen was content then and is now. And I still don't use CC

 

[mamaduck]

I can understand where you are coming from about CC, My inlaws tried to make us try it (we stayed with them for 7 months after DS1 was born, we moved back to Scotland and were trying to buy a house) I tried it once and it went against every instinct in my body!! I have since done research which says that it is not beneficial for the baby, they need to feel secure and most need comforted during the night at your LOs age, but of course I am not judging anyone who tries CC, if you follow your instincts you won't go far wrong!

At 3 months old, your baby will probably be wanting fed a lot during the night (my 2 certainly did) and until they are 6 months and on proper solid food for a large proportion of their meals most still need milk at night time. I found the book 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' to be worth its weight in gold!! Try and get your hands on it, it is really brilliant. ALso don't be hard on yourself if your LO is not sleeping yet, he is still very little and it is natural for him to be waking regularly, but OMG does sleep deprivation kill us mummies!!

Well done on getting him off his dummy, thats a brilliant achievment. Just follow your instincts and trust them, you'll know what is right for you and your LO better than anyone else! x

 

[sparky]

congrats on ditching the dummy sharne, have you got one of those light shows, you can get them relatively cheap and at least lo can see them in the dark...i use mine as a snooze button

get one with a remote! ELC did mine for about £15, then i can stand on the landing without disturbing her.

I'm putting her in her own room after the new year, think we will all get a better nights sleep then!

 

[katie05]

Hi Sharne,
i posted about this last week and got some helpful replies so wanted to pass on my experience to you. This time last week i was up 7-10x a night popping the dummy in so decided it had to go.

First night was bad-up every hour and a bit. Second night the same and i caved in at 4am giving the dummy. But im pleased to say that was the last time shes had it However on the 3rd night she went 7 till 4am and started screaming. I really couldnt do CC as i felt awful the night i had so i fed her but only 2-3oz. (That was all i put in the bottle so she knew it was finished). She flustered a bit after it but then went till 8am. She did this for 2 nights but the last 2 nights has slept through from 7am till 7.30!

o.K this may be a fluke but i dont care..things have improved so much

I know some may say feeding her was the wrong thing to do but it was better for me and comforted her without the dummy or without me getting upset over CC. Also, even when she did wake at 5 and had 3oz it was much better than no feed but popping the dummy in all night!

I hope it goes well for you too hun whatever you decide.

 

[loz]

Hi I would agree that he is too young for cc, I think it is recommended from 6 months. Emms wanted a lot of feeding at 3 months, day and night - it is probably that I would think?

 

[Jollypops]

We got a little lion from our Colchester Zoo visit, pull its tail and it plays a lullaby which we only play at sleep or nap time if he needs settling which seems to work for us and we dont use it that much now.
As for letting them cry i found this really hard as it felt as though it went on forever sometimes but i started to watch the clock on the video and as long as he didint cry for more than 4/5mintues in one go then he was fine and would have fallen asleep anything more and we would go to him.

 

[Steelgoddess]

Well i tried my hardest from sunday til yesterday early eve he was dummyless but OH took over and found it hard so used to dummy, I am pleased to say he is NOT using the dummy at all but I tried EVERY SINGLE THING and he just was not settling after a feed at all I tried holding, cuddling, nappy changing, playing music, he just didn't want to be put down...

Hmmm back to the drawing board, I am really dissapointed... (not in him just wanted to be able to sort the dummy thing out...)

 

[Quill]

I'm still struggling a lot with Eli so I feel your pain. We're trying to wean him slowly off the dummy but it's hard because he comfort sucks a lot (breastfed, so it's painful if he wants to suck for 2 hours! ).

Have you tried putting a hot water bottle into his crib before putting him down? We've had some success with that, makes the transition from holding to crib easier.