Absolutely terrified

[JayK2387]

Hey,

I really need some advice from some other mums to be that can actually understand these hormoanal feelings Im having.

Im 20 (21 in 3 weeks) and have been with my fella for about 5 months. A few weeks ago we found out I was expecting. This was a massive shock to the both of us but we we're both initially over the moon. My BF still is very excited but as the weeks go on im getting more and more worried.

Im 5 weeks pregnant, 6 weeks on Sunday.

Im worried because a) Im young, I know there are other young mums some younger than me that cope perfectly fine, but it does scare me. b) Ive not been with my bf long, although I have no doubts in him staying its just its early days what if things change? c) My bf is already a daddy to his 3 year old son. I dont know how im going to cope knowing its not his first.

I know these are all really silly and my friends are making me feel as if im going crazy. I want this baby more than anything in the world, Im just so confused at the moment and keep crying. Please tell me someone else has had worries too.

Thanks
Jay xx

 

[andreag]

Hi It is perfectly natural to worry about everything when you are pregnant, even if it is the most planned thing you have ever done. Its such a huge thing it wouldn't be natural if you didn't worry. As long as you are happy with your pregnancy, let everything else fall into place and try to enjoy your special 9 months.

 

[Melly+2]

I weas like this woth my first, i was only 18, had been with my bloke 3 weeks when i found out i was pg although he wasnt excited he wanted me not to have her. I said no and it took him ages to get used to the idea but now we couldnt be happier and are having another, it doesnt always have to be bad

 

[MrsBrightside]

Im 28 and me and my OH planned this pregnancy. Yes I am over the moon that im finally pregnant but im worried sick as well... thats a natural feeling and you are very very hormonal at the min which wont be helping... pregnancy brain and all that!!

Dont think about him already been a daddy... this is YOUR first... thats all that matters to you both as a couple!! try and chill out (easier said then done) and enjoy your pregnancy... as for how long you have been together.... me and OH have only been together a year and a half so its not mega long in the grand scale of things!! I know hes the one I want to have children with..... you know your OH better then anyone so dont even think about how long you have been together, that doesn't change the people you are!!

 

[keelie_b]

Hiya, im 20 and with be when i have my baby.
Im sorry that your feeling low, i have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years. BUT its not what i would call a happy stable relationship. I have these worried thoughts because im not sure if we will last. Since iv been pregnant things have got even worse we fight all the time, there were a few rumours going round about him which hurt a lot. So although iv been with him longer i feel that if we split up things become soo difficult now that theres a child involved. We both want this baby more than anything but i fear that if things got worse, i could see us in court fighting for custody.
I want us to be a happy family and hate the thought that i'd have to give my baby up for half the week. It also means breast feeding would be tricky and thats something i really want to do.
I want my baby to have the best life possible, that doesnt include its mum and dad hating one another. I would do everything in my power for him or her not to see that but there not stupid and i know it would know.

So although a slightly different story, the worry is still there, i cry as well and i wont let my mind think too far into the future because i panic.
But theres nothing that we can do. Take every day as it comes.
You are going to get even more hormonal, its just learning to deal with it.
Maybe sit your partner down explain to him that you want to be a family with him but things will get tough over the next few months. You will say things that you dont mean, and get angry for no reason. You'll start fights just for the hell of it and not stop untill you win. If he does somthing remotely wrong you will cry until your eyes are red raw. But none of it it personal. He needs to understand that you cannot control your body for the next 7 months, but after that things will get better, you'll have a son or daughter together and can be a family and you can be yourself again. But neither of you can take things personally over the next few months or it will only get worse.
I had that chat with my boyfriend and im so glad i did, he's slowly learning that if i say something out of order, to just let it go rather then retaliate.

You never know, the fact that he has another child might mean he has a better understanding. Un fortunately i cant advise you there because i havnt been there myself. I know it doesnt make you feel any better but its not uncommon anymore. And it wont make him love you or your child any less.

wow i cant believe how much i wrote, i started and couldnt stop.

In some ways i understand the feelings and its horrible, please just deal with it day by day and then its not as scary.

Everything will be ok, enjoy your pregnancy because it goes quicker then you realise

 

[jools221181]

I can only agree with the others. You are bound to be worried, scared, terrified (as I was with my 1st even though he was planned and I was 25!)
You wouldn't be human if you didn't worry and wonder about what's going to happen!