A tad annoyed/shocked/angry

[Hunnie]

Thought Id post this in here as I feel a lot more settled with the 2nd trimester ladies

Anyway to cut a long story short OH's friends baby was born not even a week ago. It wasn't a planned pregnancy but him and the mother of the baby are still together. OH has been with said friend today and was informed by him that tonight they are booking a babysitter so they can go out on the piss.

Am I the only one that finds their behaviour completely shocking?!
I know the last thing I'd want to be doing once LO arrives is dragging someone else in to look after her and if I did need a break because I was struggling I definitely wouldn't be spending my time away out drinking! Id be resting and relaxing!

I think yes fair enough after a couple of weeks or so maybe but the poor child isn't even a week old?!?!?!

Ive always had the thought throughout my pregnancy that I am committed now and therefore my social life gets pushed a little further back in my priorities and its a sacrifice worth making?
I just don't really understand how they feel that what they are doing is right/acceptable?

 

[Pickledonions]

personally my proroties have completely changed big time since becoming pregnant. I dont feel like I would want to go out so soon after having the baby...but then Im breast feeding anyway so couldnt really drink. I dont think I would feel like it for months tbh, but then oh doesnt drink anyway and all I can think of now is snuggling up me Rob and Josh once hes here bonding. Each to their own. I dont think its unacceptable as such but I do find it worrying if they are both pissed whos looking after baby once babysitter has left?? I dont even think Id wanna risk that when Im still getting to grips with being a mummy

 

[Hunnie]

Reading it all back I do sound harsh saying unacceptable but I only see it being unacceptable in my eyes because both me and OH sound a lot like you and your partner and have never really drunk in the first place. I wouldn't generalise it to say that society would see it as unacceptable because Im sure there are plenty of other parents doing the same thing, I just personally don't feel its right :/.

I think its just angered me because I don't have the same mind set as them in the first place and cant really understand why they would want to do what they are doing no matter how many times someone explained it to me. I know Id much rather spend the money they'd use on a night out to buy things for the baby :/

 

[Pickledonions]

oh noooo I didnt think it was bad you said it ws unacceptable at all hun....I would be shocked if I knew someone who did the same. It took us 2 years to concieve I dont wanna miss even one night with my newborn...maybe if its not an issue to concieve or something its not so important??? I dont know I dont get it either I agree with you Im really interested to hear othyer views tho

 

[redbear]

Well i know ill be going out!! But ill explain--- My husband doesnt drink at all and we go out on a saturday to a pub where my borther sister in law and firends go and its child friendly and they all go with there children so LO would be coming too, I may be a bad mum i dont know but i can't think of anything worse than staying in the house for a month, i wouldn't get drunk but still i want to go to the pub lol.... i sound horrible lol x

 

[Pickledonions]

no you dont at all! Its gonna be different for everyone tbh...it makes a differnce if your breastfeeding/bottle feeding ...I think Id like to go for a nice meal, just not til Ids got to grips...maybe its peronality that has an impact. Im gonna be a nervous new mum I think whilst others more confident......also I dont think I could afford it lol

 

[Danti]

I agree with you! I'd be appalled if someone I knew did this. Bean wasn't planned and I enjoyed going out on the town and getting a little worse for wear as much as the next person.. but now that's the last thing on my mind! I've even got to the point where I don't think I'll go out drinking for a long time after as it doesn't appeal to me at all any more, all I can think about is being the best mum I can be and I can't wait!

Redbear there is a big difference between going out to a child friendly pub with LO and going out to get smashed... you're not horrible at all! I certainly won't be holing myself up because I'll want to show Bean off as much as possible lol but I won't be going out on the piss...

 

[redbear]

well im going to try to breastfeed but the baby would be with us if we went out anyway i wouldnt leave it with a babysitter till its a bit older and then it would be my mum... I am a confident person with the baby once its here i worry more about damaging it when im pregnant lol.

 

[Hunnie]

I feel a bit judgemental now as I think of them going out on the piss as going drinking excessively but I hadn't really considered what if it was just for one or two drinks. I can't see them doing but trying to be open minded I think I might try to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway, all this thought of what Id rather be doing has made me feel all warm inside at the thought of being at home snuggled up on the sofa on a saturday night with me and my girly

 

[Pickledonions]

i think to be honest its the leaving the baby with a babysitter so soon redbear your situation is totally acceptable in my opinion

 

[Hunnie]

i think to be honest its the leaving the baby with a babysitter so soon redbear your situation is totally acceptable in my opinion

I don't really have any issue with what you'd be doing either redbear its just another persons way of having their family time. I just feel a bit with the situation Ive said about that they are "abandoning" the child

 

[redbear]

good i dont feel as bad now-- im just not an indoor person if im at home for the day i have to get out of the house it drives me mad... i dont really sit and watch telly or anything or snuggle and watch dvd's so i would be stuck for what to do with myself.... But to be honest i think one week old is a little young to want to leave the baby all night.

 

[l_maclean]

Each to their own I guess. Hunnie - I would have read "going on the piss" - as an excessive drinking situation - which I found quite shocking.

I have to say im not quite AS appaulled at the leaving them with a babysitter - but that would depend on who the sitter was. Slightly different but DH and I are both officers in the BB and I really want to get back to that ASAP - so i'd be hoping MIL or my auntie will babysit from early.

xxx

 

[Geminiblue]

I do think those who havent had a baby yet need to wait to see how you feel after the baby is born.

I thought "oh I'll go out for a meal with my partner and have my mum babysit at my house or at hers"...oh how wrong I was. The first night that my child spent away from me was on my wedding night and he was a year old. The first time I went out without him must have been close to a year coz I was breastfeeding, I felt sick whenever I left him. I dont understand being able to leave a child with anyone so soon after giving birth but thats just me. My SIL did this really really soon and I couldnt get my head around it. I struggle with it still but remind myself that everyone is different and everyone parents differently...its a tough one.

Im hoping that I may be different with the one I am pregnant but I just dont know how I'll be. We are all so different. But understand how youre feeling hunni xxx

 

[angelmma]

Well I plan to head out a few weeks after the birth if I feel upto it, like 3 weeks later, Ill be breastfeeding so I'll be making sure to express, and mine or OH's grandparents will be watching it. We will return to the house the baby is in, but the grandparents will be getting up during the night, as Id be planning to have a few drinks but not get drunk, and even with a few drinks Id be afraid to pick him up. As we'd be home early enough, we'd be up first thing in the morning. Like Im only saying 3 weeks as that was the first time that I had went out after DD was born, and it was for the world cup and I only had a few drinks. I wouldnt have felt upto it before that, and even then I wasnt 100% and found it a struggle to leave her eventhough she was with my mum and I was living there. I wouldnt trust anyone else other than grandparents and my bro to be honest, and I'll prob end up waiting to the christening to go out, but I would be concerened if they were planning to head out on the piss within a week and then what happens when the babysitter leaves? xxx