A baby????

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by stephlw25, Oct 20, 2005.

  1. AmberNicole

    AmberNicole Well-Known Member

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    I agree with most of the other ladies, he needs to prove himself first. He may be sorry he missed out on the pregnancy, but it's too late now and having another baby for that reason is so wrong. I definately wouldn't try having a baby with this dude until he's fully committed to you and Summer. There's nothing wrong with taking things slowly as only time will tell with your situation.

    It's pretty normal to get baby fever right after you have your baby, but give it time because that feeling may wear off AND you need to let your body heal.
     
  2. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    best of luck to you Kay,

    Im sure what ever you deicde, it will be right for you.

    I really hope things go well for you

    xxx
     
  3. abbie

    abbie Member

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    ok good luck whatever you decide
     
  4. Hypnorm

    Hypnorm Well-Known Member

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    I think the best advice is to BE CAREFUL
    Don't end up getting hurt.
    I abbies advice was very bad.
    Make 100% sure he has changed and not having a guilt trip.
    A BABY WILL NOT MAKE A RELATIONSHIP MORE SOILD, TI WILL PUT IT TO THE TEST! (sorry didn't meant to type that in caps!
     
  5. emilia

    emilia Well-Known Member

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    You have such a beautiful baby - you still have so many wonderful milestones to face and enjoy!! There is no rush! The world is your oyster!! Spend this time to help shape your baby's future - if your OH is keen to share the rest of his life with the two of you and have another bunny - he will have to do quite a wee bitty to show commitment to you and he should be willing to stick around for however long it takes!
    Nope - I'd say, take a step back and be honest to yourself about your relationshiop. I might be wrong, but it sounds like he also needs to deal with some insecurities. It'll all take time and another baby is not going to heal old wounds.....
    Good luck with your decision.
    Emilia xx
     
  6. emilia

    emilia Well-Known Member

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    Oh sugar.... I've let myself in for some difficult explaining now.... patience with me! :D
    From time to time, we all have insecurities and as individuals, we all handle them differently. You OH has missed out on your pregnancy and no doubt, feels angry and guilty for not being part of it. Now, instead of him coming to terms with it, he has the urge to replace the negative feelings with another pregnancy soon. He may also feel insecure because you showed him that you could well manage without him and the only way for him to feel secure, is for you to NEED him. What he does have to realise, is that you and baby DOES need him. You need his emotional and financial support and that you and baby also have lots of love and affection to give him. The "insecurity" lies with him having the need to replace a negative experience with another to compensate. Where as a "secure" outlook will be more accepting of past mistakes and focussing on the task in hand - bonding with his baby and securing his relationship with you. I suspect that he's wanting another pregnancy experience more so than the actual baby, as his missed out on rubbing your belly, talking to the baby in your tummy, etc. But another baby will make four and then it's a different ball game all together.
    I hope some of this makes sense - maybe I'm talking poo! You and baby deserve the best and the three of you still have lots of laughs and cuddles to share!!!! I know you'll make the right decission - you have the courage to discuss the issue with so many people in order to collect their opinions and that shows wise thinking.
    Loads of good luck!!!
    Emilia xx :wink:
     
  7. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

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    I have to disagree with Abbi about the cheating thing (Sorry Hun)

    You have obviously had a bit of bad luck with previous partners, but the fact is, not all men cheat. Full stop.

    Also, Kay if you rush into having another baby with this lad, you will regret it at some stage. Even if he does stay with you for the rest of your days, two little ones so close together is really hard work babe and you will feel robbed of your youth. Something you can never get back.

    He may genuinely love you and want to devote his life to you. Completely possible. But you still need to take as much time as you want to really think things through.

    We are all right behind you with full support as always!
     
  8. tracyM

    tracyM Well-Known Member

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    Just a point about getting pregnant so soon after a c-section, the risk of uterine rupture during pregnancy or a trial of labour if you fall pregnant within 10 months of a previous c-section is higher

    http://www.medicalpost.com/mpcontent/article.jsp?content=/content/EXTRACT/RAWART/3706/04B.html

    We waited three years after my first section and suffered a uterine rupture during a trial of labour. We've waited 5 years this time, but the previous complications mean I'm probably having a hysterectomy after this one.

    I consider myself lucky to be blessed with four children, and at thirty it doesn't bother me too much that my child bearing years are over (quite looking forward to not having an AF every month :wink: ), but I'd hate to have had the choice taken away from me before now.

    Tracy xx[/url]
     
  9. emilia

    emilia Well-Known Member

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    You sound nice and happy!!! Pleased for you!!!
    Good luck with all the wonderful milestones - you'll be giving all of us advice very soon!!!!!!! :lol:
    Emilia xxxx
     

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