2 more cycles and i'm giving up :(

[hellbelz]

i cant take ttc much longer its driving me mentally insane,

if not struggling the first time wasnt bad enough and having my son on the 6th cycle wanst enough of the 4 yrs or so we was trying.

my idea was to ttc as soon as rhys was born as apperently your more fertile. at my 6 week postnatal check the doc told me that it was ok to try again, prescribed clomid for 6 cycles. not what i really wanted because i had a newborn and didnt want the pressure of what i'd just been through but he said with my hormone imbalance the chances are best to go with what worked before.
well i'm 14 months into trying now and i'm sick of rushing the months through to get to poas.

think i'm so scared that without clomid there is no hope, we wont get ivf we have children. so i keep hoping on and off clomid just in case i get preg naturally.

maybe i should just throw in the towel be grateful for what i have and forget more babies. was and is our dream for rhys to have a sibling close in age but maybe he was a total miracle and we arent destined to have anymore.

makes me mad. i got pregnant with my daughter 15 yrs ago by accident after being together 3 months.

its like my heads in some kind of trap, since oct 2005 when i came off the pill my heads been thinking dates, umming and arrring what to do, i came off clomid and ovulated on my own in feb, 32 cd. was over the moon so tried again clomid free last cycle didnt ovulate and cd 49. and if i say to my oh tonights the night he might go insane too lol.

i've got enough clomid for 2 cycles. i just dont know what to do after that.

i'm rambling now

 

[peachypam]

I feel for you hun.I have been ttc for over a year now.I've got 2 kids already 13 and8 and had no probs conceiving!Never thought for a mo I'd have any probs with my new partner.Making an appointment next wek with docs and imagine I will start the process you are going through.

I don't know what to say to you but think maybe taking a break completely from the whole process may do you the world of good.You can always try again when you feel ready.xxx

 

[Bead]

Hey Hellbelz,
I know the feeling.
When I feel like I'm going insane with the waiting and wishing half my life away during the 2ww's, I feel talking with DH really helps.
Keep talking to OH or friends or us guys/gals here, it's the only way to keep sane.
Very best of luck Xx

 

[Mervs Mum]

Aww matey

One of my journal buddies on the sister site was just like you. Eventually she ditched the clomid and caught on her own 2 cycles later.

Even if you dont say you are stopping altogether, maybe you are in need of a rest? Just a break from thinking about it? x

 

[Flossie]

really sorry you are feeling like this, maybe a break from the meds and constant thinking about it will reduce stress and allow it to happen naturally. Wishing you lots of luck!!

 

[serenitylove]

hi im really feeling for you reading this iv had 2 pregnancys one clomid one i m/c then fell naturally for my dd 11 yrs ago and after that i kept trying and diddly squit happened so after loosing weight and having endless scans etc i was put on clomid again and luckily after all this time fell on 3rd cycle but i came close to having a breakdown on the stuff it really does mess with your head ttc is hard enough as it is especially if it is a long term problem but the extra hormones of clomid can make it 10 times worse x best of luck xxx

 

[hellbelz]

thank you girls, feeling abit more positive today, i'm going to finish the clomid i have and then, see where nature takes us.
going to concentrate on rhys and stop wishing his life away by wanting my cycle over.

its hard not to try cos i think if i dont put my life and soul into getting pregnant then it wont happen kind of like if you want a goal bad enough you'll reach it kind of thing.

we've decided to give it a dam good go this month finish the pack of cycles and leave it 6 months.

thanks for the advice it really helped xxx

 

[Mamafy]

Keeping fingers and toes crossed for you buddy

 

[fairydust1984]

hope you get a bfp this month then xx

 

[serenitylove]

really hope it works for you hun xxx