19; accidentally pregnant, scared and confused

[Foxface]

Hi, thank you for clicking! On Thursday morning I fainted and cracked my front teeth. Apparently this runs in the family as I have never fainted before and am not ill, and with a late period my mom made me take a test, which was positive. I've been to Florida in the last three weeks and have taken tablets for two weeks (Utovlan?) to prevent my period, which you aren't supposed to take when pregnant, as well as gone on roller coasters etc so the baby could be dead or have been damaged...
I am with my boyfriend of almost two and a half years and we have lived in a flat together for round 2 months now. He's very supportive but I have recently suffered from severe depression and I've ended up in hospital because of it - he isn't sure I'd be able to cope with a baby. He also only earns around 12 grand after tax- just enough for us two - I don't work after dropping out of uni, I've been trying to get into vet nursing. My parents/family are not pushing me to abort but they are hinting that we simply can't afford it which is true, and that it just isn't a good time and isn't practical at all right now. My boyfriend doesn't want to go down the adoption route and I want it to be agreed on by both of us.
I'm turning 20 early September so it's not my age; it's just the financial (mainly) and also mental situation especially since post natal depression runs in our family. I think my family would support me if I kept the baby and my boyfriend definitely would; he doesn't want an abortion any more than I do but he agrees it's the most practical thing at the moment.
I know this is our decision to make but I'd really love some advice right now, I have a scan Monday and I'll ask about the tablets i've taken but I think i'm around 8 weeks along so not long to act until it's too late for the abortion pill which would be my preferred method if I did go through with it.
Thanks so much for reading this.x

 

[purple_pianos]

Didn't want to read and run... Can't give you any advice as it is your decision.. perhaps think about how you would feel in the future - would you still think an abortion was the best option or would you regret it in 1/3/10years time?? You may also find "seeing" baby on the scan may make it a hard choice..

xx

 

[hayes]

My sis had this very hard descion to make last yr hun and believe me its not an easy one. She ended up having an abortion at 11wks and to this day she still has her doubts at whether she made the right chioce. But having said that 90%of the time she knows she has. She wudnt have any support frm father(altho we wud all of supported her)and she knew finanically it wasnt guna be good.

I think that you have to really think about what is right for you and your bf and my advice hun is please do not look at the screen as it will upset you my sis didnt look but i was holding her hand and cudnt help myself and it doesnt help.

Big hugs to you hun and what ever you decide make sure you have a lot of support around you.

Michelle. x

 

[Pippa1703]

If seeing it woukd make your decision harder, ask to not see the screen. I had a termination 4years ago, it was tough but thw right decision at the time. I was with the same partner im currently pregnant with. If you really dont feel ready for this, I dont think anyone woukd blame you if you ended it.
On the other hand, there's never a perfect time to have a baby, itd work out because youd have no choise but to make it work, it be tough but itd be worth it.

Im aware this doesnt help but you sound like youve got your head screwed on enough, your reasons arw validbut only you can know what will work for you xx

 

[Foxface]

Thanks for the all the replies; I will try not to look at the screen but I know i'll naturally want to. I really don't want to kill my baby even though I don't feel ready. I'm so torn. We both want kids but now is just the wrong time.

 

[Mummybexee]

Hi- ultimately it's your choice

Putting myself in your shoes- all facts considered - I would abort too. I think sometimes accidents happen and I know it won't be an easy decision for you to make. You just need to sit down and really think about if your ready mentally - with post natal in the family and your depression - the both combined with your overall situation isn't ideal

If you've both discussed abortion and feel it may be your best route then go with your gut instinct- you know yourselves more than we know you

Good luck which ever path you take

 

[papella]

Didn't want to read and run, having not been pregnant i can't really comment

But wanted to say as long as you take the time to talk it out with your BF and do whatever is best for the pair of you xx

 

[tinytoes]

Just to let you know its against forum rules to discus abortion

 

[diane]

Abortion talk is against forum rules.

 

[Baby Bean]

I think this is a very difficult decision whatever you decide. You need to really think about how you will handle the decision if you do decide to abort, especially in relation to your mental health as you already mentioned. Although that's also something you have to consider (as you clearly are) if you decide to keep it. Having my daughter was the best thing I ever did but my circumstances were very different - I was older and.she was planned. Good luck with whatever you decide hun, xxx

 

[Mummybexee]

Oops :/ didn't realise my bad!

 

[Princess81]

I'm locking this thread, as per forum rules abortion discussion is not permitted.