Your face looks fatter..

[WishingHoping]

So had a LOVELY comment off a woman I barely know today!!

She works at a restaurant we used to be connected with in the same job as me - accounts. We all met for lunch & first thing she says "wow you have put so much weight on your face looks fatter!"

I just said "well I am pregnant so I guess that could be why??!!"

I was soooo annoyed & am a little upset, I struggle with BDD, OCD & anxiety as it is but why do people think its okay to say things like that to women anyway?? What if I wasn't pregnant; I would of felt 10x as worse.

My midwife isn't concerned about my weight & I am completely normal weight for my height being a size 10 at 13/5 weeks pregnant. I already feel like I am carrying a girl because the main places I have put weight on is my face & back.

I dunno why I am even posting this, maybe just to rant I think. Gaining weight is such an issue for me. I used to be size 22 & lost 6stone to be a size 4/6 at my smallest; I was working out lifting heavy weights everyday hardly eating & addicted to laxatives at this point so I wasn't healthy. This resulted in me having IBS & that's my own fault. I maintained a healthy normal weight at 9.10st for ages at a size 8 & had my boobies done to make myself feel more "curvy/womanly" again. I now weight 11.7st which has slowly gone on since my ectopic in January through depression & anxiety. I have still be working out but being off the pill hasn't helped with weight gain either. I have gained 8lbs since being pregnant this time but still in size 10s - I know 8lbs seems a lot for someone who is only 13/5weeks pregnant & I beat myself up about it so much.

My OH is a personal trainer & this is the heaviest I have been with him. He loves me & always tells me I am beautiful & that I shouldn't worry about my weight as I am pregnant I am going to gain weight & until it becomes an issue with my GP or Midwife then I don't need to worry. However, having anxiety makes me think that if I don't look perfect he will leave me.

I know that is not the case & I need to give myself a break a bit but this isn't the first comment & probably wont be the last. My mum bought me size 16 clothes the other day as a "TREAT" - I will say it again. I am a size 10. Yes I appreciate the gift & am very grateful & will probably appreciate them sizes in the summer & once bump is big but right now I feel like I am a walking whale who everyone thinks is gross or something.

Sorry to keep typing & if you have made it this far I applaud you.

Does anyone else have BDD or past eating disorders whether being over-weight or under-weight & now struggle with being pregnant & gaining more??

Sorry to moan

xx

 

[KHTW]

I am convinced that in some people the connection between brain and mouth is non existent!!!! Sorry you had to hear a comment like that x

Even a person that has never struggled with BDD or eating disorders would find it upsetting so I can only imagine it's x10 worst for you

I don't think there is much you can do about it but IGNORE all comments like that... You will put more weight on as the pregnancy progresses and that's OK

I am normally size 10 too and all the weight I gained so far seemed to have gone into my belly. My work colleague saw me in the kitchen today, looked at my pregnant belly and said ' wow! what happened to you?!'. I said 'What? I had a big dinner last night' and left x

 

[mrsbedders]

Why are people such dicks? Wishinghoping I saw your picture on another thread and you are absolutely beautiful. I have no experience with bdd or eating disorders but someone said exactly the same to me when I was first pregnant with dd. It really hurt and it is a very insensitive thing to say. You will feel a bit off at the moment but when you do 'bloom' you'll feel great. I look back at pictures of me pregnant now and I was enormous! But I felt amazing. So will you. Early days are always a bit shit with worry anyway but it sounds like you've got a lovely supportive partner and that's all that matters, you are becoming a little family, so exciting! Be strong. Ignore dicks. Well, not ALL dicks lol xxx

 

[mrsbedders]

... didn't mean you will be enormous lovely! I was just meaning me and how I felt lol xx

 

[WishingHoping]

LOL thanks girlies - sometimes moaning on here is like writing it in a journal that replies

xx

 

[hayes]

What an idiot would never ever imagine saying that to someone, unfortunately some people don't think before they speak or just don't care. I'm sure u look fab n glowing, eat what you want n don't worry about anyone else's opinions it doesn't matter.

Michelle.x

 

[purplecandy]

Ah, ignore her, you should of said her face looks fatter too. You're absolutely fine, you've got an important job of growing a healthy baby in your body so ignore the haters. I'm panicking a bit about my weight but the BF keeps reminding me not to worry, some things are far more important! x

 

[mylullaby]

Some people are just twats honey. She is one of them. Don't give her anymore air time. Ignore, ignore, ignore. I very much doubt there is anything remotely different about the fatness of your face. I bet she's massively insecure and says hurtful things to people all the time - some people just aren't happy unless they're putting other people down. What a knob she is! Be thankful you aren't her!!! xxx

 

[lisa1985]

Basically people are twats! I have seen your pic and you are beautiful, stop worrying about weight gain, you are growing a little miracle in there. You eat what you want, when your body tells you. I would have said ''Well i'm pregnant, what is your excuse?'' xxx

 

[Mary Poppins]

I have put on weight all round my tummy, thighs, and mainly bum... It's huge and looks ridiculous! I am having a girl so bump is long and spread and just no where near as cute as some other lovely bumps I keep seeing. However, if this is what gets me my baby, I don't care what size I reach. I did the same with my daughter and it came off so easily after birth... Breast feeding definitely helped. Shake it off (as Taylor swift would say!) baby is more important... Deal with any extra weight in a few months time by health eating and taking your gorgeous baby on nice long walks xx

 

[WishingHoping]

Thanks everyone - I do have a feeling I am carrying a girl as I have put weight on my face, back, boobs, bum & belly (obviously) I don't feel huge I just feel clonky.

I am doing this to get the best reward at the end of it so I shouldn't be selfish & worry about my own appearance constantly!!

Craving fruit & cheese sarnies at the moment so it could be worse..

Cant wait to find out the sex in a few weeks

xx

 

[KHTW]

I have a strong feeling it's a girl x

 

[CarrieMarshall]

ah man, honestly I wonder about people some times!

I'm kind of in the same boat as you hun; I lost 6 stone about 5 years ago, and had kept it off by becoming a bit of a gym bunny. Over time, a stone of it slowly crept back on, but I accepted that as my body coming back to the weight it is meant to be. About 4 months before Christmas I started to fall out of the healthy eating regime I had stuck to for so long. although I was still going to the gym a lot, I felt guilty for letting myself be so unhealthy, yet in the same breath couldn't get my head back in to it and remained eating that way.

as soon as I became pregnant it became worse. in the first 12 weeks I put on 10lb, and I haven't dared to weigh myself since. I know it is going to have gone up a lot, and although I keep telling myself that the weight gain is meant to happen and I can concentrate on losing it afterwards, it is still a big worry in my mind. I'm so petrified of getting back to my original weight, and although I know it is going to be near on impossible to put back on 6 stone during a pregnancy, that thought is still there.

It's so hard when you are trying to get your head around it yourself, overcome your own demons about it and someone throws the biggest spanner in the works so you have to start building yourself up all over again. Try and let it go in one ear and out the other.

I find it also helps to imagine that person meeting a very grizzly, comedy-horror movie type end........

 

[WishingHoping]

You've said exactly how I feel!!

xx

 

[MrsTLC]

You are in the worst part of pregnancy too.... You've gained weight but don't look pregnant. Give it a few more weeks and if you're anything like me, your body confidence will soar.