you look huge!!!!!

[hayley]

aaarrrhhh - sorry but i need to scream - i just want to curl up and cry!!!! best mates - who needs them! i have one who tells me every time she see's me that i'm huge, look fatter, i'm massive.... it goes on and on...

I've tried telling her a hundred times that its hurt full but the insukts kep coming... i've even tried texting her saying i kniw it's not ment in a hurtful way but it really upsets me and i'd like her to stop calling me fatty, or fat cow, or commenting on how much i've grown - but no!!! she still insists on insulting me every time she sees me... what is it with her?

last nite was suppose to me a celebration for my birthday... a nice meal with the girls.. i nearly never went because i couldn't get shoes to fit on my swollen feet... she knew i was feeling really down and ugly! carrying a lot of water and this heat isn't helping... anyway i got a new dress and spent hours making myself up... felt almost attractive! the minute she saw me she shouted - bloody hell the size of you, you fat cow your huge! I actually shoted at her and said will you stop with the insults... but an hour later she told the waiter which starter belonged to the fat cow sitting in the corner - pointing at me....

she had a baby a few months back and has slimmed right back to pre pregnancy sze - in fact she's slimmer... and i'm happy for her! hope i manage it too.. i just don't nderstand why she feels the need to insult me... does it make her feel better and if so why???? don't know if to send her another text message today - or if to get another one of our friends to say something because she obviousy doesnt listen to me...

sorry for such a long one! feel really hurt and upset...
x

 

[gemza]

I'm sorry thats horrid. I've been experiancing that from a so called best friend too. I'm now staying away from her.As your friend has had a baby you'd think she'd understand. She doesn't sound like any sort of friend to me. You really don't need people like that around you. Try to keep smiling and stay away from selfish, hurtful people

 

[nicki]

Ah hun. Its beyond me why some people feel the need to say things like that. I know how you feel tho. quite a few people (mainly friends) would say those sort of things. I did say to my best mate to stop it & she did luckily.
You'd think that as your friend has had a baby she would know to be sensitive especially after you have asked her to stop.
It maybe harsh but you could tell her that until you've had the baby & are back to your pre pregnancy size you will not be seeing her as she upsets you too much & you don't want to be stressed whilst pregnant, hopefully she'll get the message then & stop.

Chin up babe, you're not fat. Sod her, smile & think of your gorgeous little one growing inside.

 

I had a couple of friends/family around me who used to say the same things, it was so hurtful. I agree with Nicki, I would steer clear of her till you've given birth. xxx

 

[Dippy]

Firstly - Happy Birthday Hayley (or happy belated birthday?!). Sorry you have such an insensitive friend, thankfully mine know better as I am hyper-sensitive at the best of times. I saw the piccie you posted not long ago and you looked fab, not in any way huge, even if you were, it's not because you have been eating all the pies, it's because you have got a little miracle growing inside you. We all have our off days, I am at the stage where my normal clothes don't fit but maternity clothes are swamping me, had a good cry to OH this morning cos I feel so hot and unattractive, so you are not alone!! Keep ranting if you need to.

 

[fran_23]

honey, i'm sure your friend doesnt mean to be so insensitive, but she obviously should be more understanding of pregnant hormones..having not long had a baby. i might have taken those comments with a pinch of salt 8 months ago but a colleague of mine at work jokingly said "sorry fatty" to me when i asked her to excuse me..and that really pissed me off! i told her i was gonna knock her out! lol she apologised for insensitivity...but as my OH says we're not fat we're pregnant ladies and we should be proud of our growing bumps and curves (however uncomfortable we may be)

i too get constant "oh my god your huge " comments and my sister even told me i looked big as a house when i turned up to her house wearing the same top as my friend...and my friend looked lovely and slim.."funny what polka dots can do" i just bit my tongue and thought well she didnt mean to hurt my feelings.

 

[Melly+2]

i get it from my family sometimes but i know it is just in fun but it can hurt sometimes when your feeling low try and stay happy hun xxx

 

[Minxy]

There's a woman a work who calls me fat bird every day. It used to bother me, but you know what? She's about 18 stone. So now whenever she calls it me I have a little smile to myself-cause I know there's a reason for my extra pounds.

And it's the best reason in the world!

 

[hayley]

aawwhh thanks girls.. i know i'm feeling extra sensitive at the moment.. and having cankles for ankles doesn't help (calfs that run straight down to my ankles) i love the hot weather but its playing havoc with my water retention and giving me sleepless nites which in turn is making more moody... i know she means it as a joke but i just wish she'd drop it now! gives me more reason to slim back into my pre pregnancy figure... decided i'm going to buy myself a gorgeous dress after the baby is born... then slim into it!!! will be my goal...

but at the moment i'm happy to share my body with my little miracle...

x

 

[hayley]

thanks for the happy birthday wishes dippy... its not for a few days yet but have started celebrating early - and why not!

x

 

[Melly+2]

dont worry bout having cankles, i nolonger have knees or ankles. I have tree trunks for legs, nnooooooooo!! lol i do though

 

[MummySian]

awww hayley sorry to hear the comments you have been on the end of, especially from someone whose had a baby.

Avoid her like the plague and you enjoy your birthday and that bump of yours.

xx

 

[Dreamer]

I know you lot might find this weird and it might be coz i havent been pregnant but I would take that as a compliment.

It might make u feel horrid, but it means ur baby is growing, and im sure you would look like the back end of a bus if it meant your baby was ok.

So if i was you, i would hold my head up high and say, my baby is growing and im glowing, once i have my baby it will go

I hope I havent upset anyone, just my opinon

 

[Eveadel]

Oh Hayley, I think your friend is being insensitive especially as you have asked her not to call you 'fat cow'. Shame you didnt call her 'fat cow' when she was pregnant.

 

[Amanda]

Early Happy Birthday Hayley!

I have a few people that make comments to me, but I haven't said anything back yet, as they haven't really offended me, so they are carrying on. I would like to think that if I did tell them it hurt me, then they would stop, but if any of them didn't, then that would be friendship over. I know she's probably joking, but to shout that in the middle of a restaurant! I'd have sat on her, that would have taught her a lesson!!!

I know from looking at the photos that I am a lot bigger than you, even though you are a few weeks in front of me. But, I take every single fat, lard-ass, enormous, size of a house comment with a pinch of salt. To be honest they don't bother me, I just agree with them and say Yep, that's me! And smile about it. I know people are all different and different things offend different people, but as Dreamer said, I take it as a compliment. I'm also going to take it as a compliment when they tell me how well I've lost the weight after the baby is born (wishful thinking!)

Try not to let her upset you Hayley. Or steer well clear.

 

[lmwarr]

I know exactly how you feel. I am getting the same thing from everyone! Also my legs and arms are swollen from water retention as well so it your huge and everything else is huge on you too! So that nice. I just wanna cry all the time. Keep thinking i want to diet but know i should not but with people making my life so difficult you never know whats best.

They almost seem to make you feel that its all your fault and not that you are pregnant dont they.

I know what i should be saying to you is ignore her but its too hard when they dont listen.

All i can say is your not the only one and hope that helps. x x

 

[hayley]

got up this morning thinking so what... if i've got cankles and my face has turned into a ball.. my fingers and knees don't bend because there so swollen from water retention... so what! at least my baby is happily kicking away... and kicking me good!!! in 7 weeks (hopefully - fingers crossed i don't go over - if i could cross the fingers that is) i'll be holding my gorgeous baby... also if i'm carrying a lot of water then i'll loose the weight quicker.. watch out posh spice!!!!

i think i was mostly upset because i'd spent so long getting ready.. and squeezed myself into a nice dress (rather be in my maternity jeans) and a paid of dressy shoes - after making the effort ti be told you look huge! kind of pissed me of... any way it's gone now!!!!

thanks for listening (reading)

x

 

[Amanda]

That's the attitude Hayley!! Glad you are feeling better today.