Yesterday I was smiling, today I feel total panic - help

[Cloggy]

Well yesterday had a BFP, was smiling all day, today it is a totally different story. I feel such panic and feel very scared, not great at all.

It is like I am about to get a huge panic attack, feel like crying (can't have guests staying, so trying to do normal) and want to run away.

I am also trying to stop smoking, not easy as I was a heavy smoker.
Suddenly I see heaps of problems and am wondering if this was such a good idea.

What a bloody awful feeling, stupid or what, anyone had the same?

 

[Cloggy]

I am actually sitting here crying my eyes out and feel very lonely....(sorry feel a ungrateful fool too)

 

[tracey 2]

Hi hun sorry your feeling so down,

A lot of it is the hormones that are relesed when we are pregnant its not very nice i know but it will get better

Its very frightening i know because all of a sudden it hits you your going to have a baby but think in 9 months you will have a beautiful baby in your arms enjoy it.

Good luck with quitting smoking and if you ever want a chat PM me anytime ok hun

 

[Minxy]

I think most of us, planned pregnancy or not, have felt like this.

I remember having a total meltdown around 8 weeks, it all seems so overwhelming! Like a rollercoaster you can't get off Your hormones have a lot to answer for.

Having a child IS a big thing, but the stork doesn't drop it through your chimney one day, you've got months to come around to the idea and plan things. Like billions of women before you, it seems mammoth at the moment but you'll deal with it one step at a time.

Treat your current nerves at the moment as a GOOD thing. It's a sign of how much you care, and how lucky your baby will be to have a mummy who will work hard to provide the best life and love them very much

 

[Cloggy]

Thanks girls for the kind words, I just can't stop crying, how ungrateful is that. I think that because I got my BFP after one time trying I have not had a chance to get used to TTC let alone actually getting pregnant.

Also as a foreigner I have no family here, my career has always been very important, and working hard is not good for making friends. So now I have a very good job, earn lots of money and as a result now feel very lonely.

Isn't it pathetic, here I am 40 years old, hardly a youngster and all I want is someone to 'mother' me.

I find it incredible that hormones can kick in so early, and make you feel so low. Sorry I feel like an idiot....

 

[katyk]

Isn't it pathetic, here I am 40 years old, hardly a youngster and all I want is someone to 'mother' me.

Oh Cloggy it's not pathetic, we all would ideally want a supportive family around us at times like this. Have you told your partner how you are feeling, I'm sure he would give you the hugs or understanding you need.

My boyf feels the same, he is 43, as we get older we get used to things how we have them and change feels scarier IMHO.

You could have a look locally to see if there are any groups for expectant mums where you could chat to other mums, also RELATE offer free counselling, it's not just marriage guidance they can discuss stuff across the board. Or you could see your doctor and they could find you a session or two of counselling.

I am getting counselling starting next week (not about the pregnancy as such, been on a waiting list for ages) because I find it hard to confide in people in my everyday life so any small problems feel bigger.

So you could consider this option if your feelings continue, but as the other ladies say it's probably 'just' one of those moments of all-consuming fear and self-doubt we've all been getting

Best wishes

 

[ella]

Hiya,
When I found out first I was thrilled, next day I was very upset, I too had to give up smoking cold turkey and it was really tough, I had all sorts of thoughts like I should have waited till after the summer etc etc and felt really sad and guilty for thinking such things - do not underestimate nicotine withdrawl it messes with your head, three days is all it took for me and I started to feel better and now I am really happy and excited. Reading about smoking and pregnancy helped motivate me. Trust me you will feel so much better once the withdrawl is over!!!!
Good Luck
Ella

 

[sunshine_gal]

Hi.. I gave up smoking one month ago tommorrow and for the first week i was a crying mess so just to reasure you it does get better...

 

[happy-chick]

Blame your hormones hun! Hope your feeling better soon and believe me it will pass x

 

[Rubys mummy]

Dont feel daft, we all have been there....I was broody from 18 and didnt meet the right man till 31...took me till 34 to fall PG and I was terrified....Had great pregnancy, and was so delighted to have a litttle girl (we didnt know sex but I always wanted a girl)...

I spent first 6 weeks feeling freaked out-totally scared of my baby and dreading each day ahead but now I wouldnt be without her....

feel bad that I never felt an overwhelming love for her from day one that I assumed all new mums did...

Pregnancy and motherhood is such a mad and scarey thing, no matter how old you are/how much you want it etc....thats what we are all here for. Every step of the way

 

[rachie29]

ah sweetie... dont worry you are not alone, we all get these moments of panic no matter how much we want to be a mum... just know you are not alone and there are plenty of people on here who know how you feel..

 

[Baileysmummy]

 

[Cloggy]

Thanks girls, I just feel abnormal in that I am still have bouts of badly crying, feeling at times in real panic, and I feel guilty as I am so blessed. I am questioning everything (do I want a baby, why did I think I wanted one, what the hell did I get myself into, am I depressed, will this ever get better etc etc). Just don't feel terribly rational, and very very upset.

It is great to get reassured, I all find it very scary at the moment.

(sorry to be a whimp)

 

[Cloggy]

PS I am normally a strong, tough carreer woman, with a big job and lots of responsibilities, not used to falling apart like this at all.

 

[happy-chick]

Cloggy if its any consolation im normally a strong person and rarely cry but the other day I cried at corrie and was laughing at myself crying but just couldnt stop!

This morning me and OH had a little arguement and I had £80 in my had in £20 notes and i ripped them in half and threw them at him then ran off crying saying I wish I wasnt pregnant! lol ive just selotaped em back together

The other day I threw the cordless home phone at the wall then started crying so threw a plate and a glass too then I threw my OH out of the house and told him never to come back, poor fella!

Basically ive turned into a hormonal wreck, ur not on ur own feeling like your out of control BELIEVE ME! Least we have an excuse and can blame the hormones, its normal to have doubts and worry about things hun.

 

[trixipaws]

I find it incredible that hormones can kick in so early, and make you feel so low. Sorry I feel like an idiot....

yep, those pesky hormones kick in STRAIGHT AWAY!! youll be fine, u'll hav more off days, but lots of good ones!

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Thanks girls for the kind words, I just can't stop crying, how ungrateful is that. I think that because I got my BFP after one time trying I have not had a chance to get used to TTC let alone actually getting pregnant.

Also as a foreigner I have no family here, my career has always been very important, and working hard is not good for making friends. So now I have a very good job, earn lots of money and as a result now feel very lonely.

Isn't it pathetic, here I am 40 years old, hardly a youngster and all I want is someone to 'mother' me.

I find it incredible that hormones can kick in so early, and make you feel so low. Sorry I feel like an idiot....

I know how you feel, i had to quit my job and the place i lived and people i loved for my first baby and felt the same way you did, made it worse cos he was half planned/half not!
And everyone needs mothering, you must be feeling very lonely sweetie and vunerable and need someone to talk too. We all do, its human nature in us.