Worried First Time Mum

[BabyNumber1]

Hi,
Im new to this and dont know if anyone else has written a thread on the same subject - sorry if this is repeating ALOT

Im a first time mum and although me and my partner THINK we have a clue about how to raise a baby... im really worried we actually dont...

Is anyone else worried about this?? I honestly feel like i havent got the foggiest... how often does a baby need to be fed and how much at a time, do you just put them down to sleep when they fall asleep or do you need a routine straight away? Im so conscious that im going to look like i cant cope especially with the worry of how bad maternity pay is....

Just want to know if its just me or if many other mums feel this way? Its starting to get to me and dont want it hanging over me like a bad cloud... ive only just started to feel like im 'blooming' (im 28 weeks pregnant) so want to enjoy the last couple of months!

Thanks

 

[purplehippy]

You pick it all up as you go along.

I knew nothing, I didn't even get told you wind a baby, so mine cried loads and threw up loads, to begin with, til my lovely ex neighbour winded her and explained!

 

[snr1982]

Well i have done it before and I'm nervous about doing it again. I can't remember much about it the first time round but I don't recall it being too hard. Once the baby comes you and your partner will get the hang of it, everyone is different you just have to find out what is best for you guys. You also will get plenty help from the midwifes and family etc. In fact You will probbaly find a lot of people want to help you out! It is natural to be worried, just dont be scared to ask if your not sure.

 

[pinkymum]

I'm a first time mum too, I've gone through stages while being pregnant of worrying too. I've had experience with babies but I haven't had one of my own, so its totally different. I think everyone goes through this. Afterall no one really teaches you how to be a mum and everyone will parent differently. This forum is great and the girls are a huge help if you need to ask questions there's always at least one person who will know

Congrats on your pregnancy and welcome to PF

 

[BabyNumber1]

Thanks... im glad im not the only one that has these worries... Im the first one out of my group of friends and also in a very male orientated work place so i have no one to really ask these things apart from my mum and looking at forums!

The only thing i havent had to worry about is buying the essentials as being my partners mums first grandchild she is already a spoilt little thing and shes not even here yet

 

[midnight]

its totalllllly normal to have these worries i wasnt so bad on my 1st because i lived with my mum and had alot of nephew and neice but the midwives at the hospital will show you most of it, babies vary on how much milk they take and how often , i feed on demand so basically when the baby cries and looks hungry (mine have all tried chewing on their fist) they i will offer a bottle you will learn the different cries that your LO does liek hunger cry whingy im bored cry or a pain cry the pain cry is normally wind and most babys will draw up their knees to there chest on some babies you can tell they have wind because the skin (not lips) around the mouth has a greyish colour but not all babies do this i only ever noticed it on my 2nd, change the nappy when they are wet or pooed i tend to do this after/before feed time and iff needed inbetween

to make you feel more comfortable ask 1 of the midwives to show you how to bath a baby speak to your midwife about your worries beforehand there might be classes at your hospital that can help relax and enjoy your pregnancy babies are alot tougher than what we think x

 

[purplehippy]

That's a good point - everyone will want to help. But whilst you won't know what temperament etc your baby has til it's born, you might want to look at the different advice regarding letting them cry, demand feeding vs routine (more depends on whether you're bottle or boob feeding), and so on... And decide for yourselves what you would like for your baby, as everyone has a ton of "wisdom" to impart and it so often isn't helpful being bombarded with a million different views! Don't let anyone tell you you're doing it wrong, there's just a lot of ways to parent

 

[BabyNumber1]

its totalllllly normal to have these worries i wasnt so bad on my 1st because i lived with my mum and had alot of nephew and neice but the midwives at the hospital will show you most of it, babies vary on how much milk they take and how often , i feed on demand so basically when the baby cries and looks hungry (mine have all tried chewing on their fist) they i will offer a bottle you will learn the different cries that your LO does liek hunger cry whingy im bored cry or a pain cry the pain cry is normally wind and most babys will draw up their knees to there chest on some babies you can tell they have wind because the skin (not lips) around the mouth has a greyish colour but not all babies do this i only ever noticed it on my 2nd, change the nappy when they are wet or pooed i tend to do this after/before feed time and iff needed inbetween

to make you feel more comfortable ask 1 of the midwives to show you how to bath a baby speak to your midwife about your worries beforehand there might be classes at your hospital that can help relax and enjoy your pregnancy babies are alot tougher than what we think x

I have my 28 week appointment on Tuesday so ill try and cram all my questions in then thanks!!

 

[midnight]

you could also have a look on youtube for things like
how to bath a baby
how to wind a baby ect hope this helps

 

[pinkymum]

you could also have a look on youtube for things like
how to bath a baby
how to wind a baby ect hope this helps

Good idea, boots website do a series of videos, there's how to bath, how to change a nappy etc

 

[Nanc]

I am a first time mum too, and have never been around babies, but I am assuming me and OH will just pick it up as we go along. We bought a few really good books, such as the Rough guide to babies and toddlers, which has helped us prepare for the basics, and the ask a mum section on here is really handy! Try not to worry so much.... we will all be fab! xx

 

[Cantstop]

I'm also going to be a first time mum and I haven't got any baby experience at all - never changed a nappy, never really held one apart from a few times when I've been sat down, certainly never fed one. I don't even really like most babies all that much tbh and I find a lot of them ugly (don't judge me). I just assume that with my own this won't be the case! There's always people to ask if I get stuck with something but I really think most of it will be instinct and once you find what works you're not going to forget.

 

[laurenhayward]

as the others have said please don't worry about it. I didn't have a clue to be honest, I'd read the books but that allll goes out the window when suddenly you've got your baby home. Abigail is 16 days now and I can't even imagine what we did before anymore!

 

[Vicxzy]

Baby number 1 I feel exactly the same! Whereabouts in Cheshire are u? we are having parenting classes in Cheshire if it helps?x

 

[bwakeling]

my wife and i had the same worries and concerns, but once your little one arrives it's like second nature. We're all just animals at the end of the day - trust your instincts! xx

 

[emmaandjayden]

Don't worry i was the same. How do i know if she's hungry and why is she crying and when I was shown how to bath her in hosp I was trying to get out of it as didn't want to do it as I was so scared. As soon as I had her it was second nature and they show you everything in hospital. Mine was a midwife led unit and they were fab. I was on my own so stayed there a week as didn't want to go home but when I did it was all second nature and got on better on my own. I had my dad to help me and that was it. This time round I am alone again and will have 2 and can't really remember anything but I remembered how easy it all came first time round so a bit braver this time. My mum died when I was young so never had her help and dad died last year so don't even have him now .

You will be fine and all your worries are natural, but trust me it will all come naturally xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[nadine]

Don't worry i was the same. How do i know if she's hungry and why is she crying and when I was shown how to bath her in hosp I was trying to get out of it as didn't want to do it as I was so scared. As soon as I had her it was second nature and they show you everything in hospital. Mine was a midwife led unit and they were fab. I was on my own so stayed there a week as didn't want to go home but when I did it was all second nature and got on better on my own. I had my dad to help me and that was it. This time round I am alone again and will have 2 and can't really remember anything but I remembered how easy it all came first time round so a bit braver this time. My mum died when I was young so never had her help and dad died last year so don't even have him now .

You will be fine and all your worries are natural, but trust me it will all come naturally xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This was same as me, spesh with that bath thing in Hozzy I didn't want to do it either!

How olds ur first, my Lil Ladd 2 nearly 3 when buns here n im not worried about feeds or bathing this time round, I'm just worried about being able to cope with 2 Lil ones hehe x x x

 

[emmaandjayden]

Jaydens 5 now. PF was a life line for me when I was pregnant with her as was alone, her dad was cheating on me so left him when I was 6 months preggers so moved back with dad. This time I ended it with my ex and found out I was preggers and 5 years in ages it seems to try and remember stuff. I didn't have mates that had kids then either I wa sthe first out my mates too. I used to try and get out of giving her a bath at hospital but came to the point when I thought I really have to go home lol. When I did it was fine and I did better alone than at the hosp. jaydens in reception now and i am thinking about the routine and getting her to school and geting us allk ready to take her and all that but I guess that will just come in time. I have lots of support from her school friends mums and they have been fab. I am a real miserable stroppy cow at the moment though and can't wait to drop as the SPD and cramps at night are so bad now I have no sleep whatsoever and just want it to hurry up . How are you coping hun xxxxx

 

[nadine]

Jaydens 5 now. PF was a life line for me when I was pregnant with her as was alone, her dad was cheating on me so left him when I was 6 months preggers so moved back with dad. This time I ended it with my ex and found out I was preggers and 5 years in ages it seems to try and remember stuff. I didn't have mates that had kids then either I wa sthe first out my mates too. I used to try and get out of giving her a bath at hospital but came to the point when I thought I really have to go home lol. When I did it was fine and I did better alone than at the hosp. jaydens in reception now and i am thinking about the routine and getting her to school and geting us allk ready to take her and all that but I guess that will just come in time. I have lots of support from her school friends mums and they have been fab. I am a real miserable stroppy cow at the moment though and can't wait to drop as the SPD and cramps at night are so bad now I have no sleep whatsoever and just want it to hurry up . How are you coping hun xxxxx

Well I'm with oh but he's not much help as he's either at work got his other kids or I'm going to bed as soon as Lil lads in bed ha, errm in general I'm fine it is slot harder not being able to rest or chill out but that's the ages difference I've got with the two, I worrie like mad that I'll not be able to cope with a 2 year old n new born but we have our ways, I no it's going to be hard for first 12 months + but fingers crossed then it will get easier n I'll have two very close children etc I look at things in a way as if I'm on my own even if I have got oh around as he's not much help now never mind when bubs is here, but u never no he may shock me hahaha x x hope ur ok x

 

[littlemiss83]

I'd say generally babies get fed every 2/3 hours, and you wind them half way through and after for a good wee while (til they pass the wind) you will be able to tell pretty quickly between the different cries, sleepy cry, hungry cry, wind cry ect. I figured out the different crys before I left the hospital. I changed nappy before every feed, that way its dry for them falling asleep after their feed, rather than worrying about it after, apart from that it would be whenever they do a number 2. Plus it makes it easier to remember when their last change was.

If bottle feeding, at the end of each day, wash and steralise the bottles and make up all the bottles and put them in the fridge (around 6/7 bottles) that way when the next day comes, you can grab them out the fridge and heat them up. Rather than having to wash, steralise and measure out every 2/3 hours.

It seems daunting and might be for the first couple of days, but you'll fall into a routine pretty quickly.